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ThePolloBandito

Offline (the 02/12/2014 at 5:45am) | Search for a member

ThePolloBandito

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 3 November 1988 (26 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1331
  • Number of comments : 9
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About ThePolloBandito : FINLAND!

ThePolloBandito's page activity

Visits<b>LowLives</b> - the 04/02/2013 at 11:01am<b>Llamacod</b> - the 01/20/2013 at 10:47pm

ThePolloBandito's FML badges

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

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ThePolloBandito's favorite FMLs

Today, at the bank, my 8-year-old son decided to pull out realistic looking toy gun, and scream "FREEZE! Give me all your money!" The dim-witted bank teller pressed the silent alarm, and I was nearly arrested. FML

#19962934
273 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18364) - you deserved it (26712)

On 07/20/2012 at 6:20am - kids - by great - New Zealand (Waikato)

Today, I found out my late grandfather left me a significant amount of money in his will. I thought it was weird because he always acted like he hated me. When I got the envelope, there was $500,000 inside, all in Monopoly money. FML

#19961966
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35501) - you deserved it (3105)

On 07/20/2012 at 1:13am - money - by Rachel - United States

Today, I got into a debate with my boyfriend over whether or not oral sex was considered sex. I stood firm that it was not. Apparently, he took this as permission, as later that night I walked in on him not having sex with my sister. FML

#19939596
356 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34168) - you deserved it (39574)

On 07/15/2012 at 1:34am - intimacy - by oops - United States

Today, my dad was making coffee for the family. Half-way through, he excused himself to the bathroom, so for a laugh, I discreetly poured a load of salt into his drink. When he served us, I drank a mouthful and doubled over hacking. My dad barked, "I wasn't born yesterday, son." FML

#19937636
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5420) - you deserved it (47621)

On 07/14/2012 at 4:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Nigeria (Lagos)

Today, I was fired for telling a customer's kid to shut his mouth. As revenge, I sent the CEO a picture I acquired months ago of my boss drunkenly pissing on a cow. He wrote that it was the funniest thing he had ever seen, and that I am "clearly an insufferable killjoy; a total liability to the company." FML

#19934119
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6984) - you deserved it (31285)

On 07/13/2012 at 8:48pm - work - by Alexander D. (man) - United States

Today, I'm still freshly circumcised. My penis is still very sensitive, and I can't squat to grab stuff off the floor because of the pressure against my jeans. Kicking the objects up into my hands was working well, that is until I spilled a pack of 300 toothpicks all over the floor. FML

#19933924
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27255) - you deserved it (6880)

On 07/13/2012 at 7:14pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I'm sitting in the ER with my eight-year-old son. He broke his arm after jumping out through the second story window. He was too impatient to walk to the ice cream van pulling up outside. FML

#19932634
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25525) - you deserved it (2864)

On 07/13/2012 at 1:08pm - kids - by Marjorie (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my brother thought it would be funny to pretend my tampons were "dynamite" and run around the house throwing them at my friends and family. FML

#19893089
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20353) - you deserved it (2134)

On 07/05/2012 at 12:01am - kids - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend and I were in bed making out. He then tried to unhook my bra. After a full minute of trying unsuccessfully, he shouted "Fuck you, bra!" before hiding his face in the pillows. FML

#19877341
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33168) - you deserved it (4793)

On 07/01/2012 at 7:08pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) -

Today, my husband staggered home after a night of drinking. He was too intoxicated to find the toilet so he started to pee in the cat's litter box. Apparently, he was invading her territory and she attacked him. His scream as she bit and scratched him must have woken the whole world. FML

#19873141
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18355) - you deserved it (2117)

On 06/30/2012 at 9:00pm - misc - by pissed off -

Today, I was T-boned at an intersection. In an ambulance. On the way to the hospital after being T-boned at an intersection. FML

#19873048
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37272) - you deserved it (1722)

On 06/30/2012 at 8:31pm - health - by Anonymous (man) -

Today, I discovered my cat's favorite hobby: sitting butthole-first on my favorite makeup brush. FML

#19870178
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21754) - you deserved it (2914)

On 06/30/2012 at 4:10am - misc - by audreyav - United States (Oregon)

Today, I saw a large spider carry away the body of a dead spider in the bathroom. In my anthropology class, we learned one of the first signs of civilization is caring for the dead. First, they become civilized, and next, they take over. I will never sleep again. FML

Today, I saw my girlfriend walking hand-in-hand down the street with another man. When I confronted her, she claimed she had no idea who I was, and the guy told me to beat it. Later on, she returned to our apartment and actually tried to act as if nothing had happened. FML

#19868224
258 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43373) - you deserved it (2518)

On 06/29/2012 at 9:06pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out just how easy it is to be launched against the wall and sucker-punched into oblivion by a 200-pound former Marine turned professional body-builder. I discovered this after I told my fiancée's dad that we were expecting a baby. FML

#19867923
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25214) - you deserved it (4181)

On 06/29/2012 at 7:57pm - health - by fuckjuggalos (man) - United States (Oregon)



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