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ThePaJomaster

Offline (the 04/23/2015 at 10:06pm) | Search for a member

ThePaJomaster

0Fucked!

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  • Number of visits : 272
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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ThePaJomaster's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

ThePaJomaster's favorite FMLs

Today, my best friend can now say "I fucked your mom" to me and actually mean it. FML

#21397883
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39550) - you deserved it (2772)

On 04/22/2015 at 10:14am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my friend was confiding all her problems to me over Skype. I pressed the mute button so I could let out a fart, forgetting I'd already muted it earlier. I broke several minutes of my own silence with a devastating wet one. Now she won't talk to me. FML

#21364034
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26896) - you deserved it (12542)

On 02/26/2015 at 4:17pm - misc - by MuteNToot (man) -

Today, I was in a heated debate about climate change. I got so flustered that I forgot the word "volcano" and ended up calling them "exploding mountain things". End of the debate. Shame. FML

#21347486
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27076) - you deserved it (6550)

On 01/31/2015 at 9:29pm - misc - by WalkTheOtherWay - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my dad got so drunk that he forgot my name. He started calling me "It". FML

#21295011
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35228) - you deserved it (2823)

On 11/08/2014 at 9:36pm - misc - by ItGirl - Sweden (Sodermanlands Lan)

Today, my little sister decided to color-in my favorite black-and-white comic book. It was worth over $200. When I told my mother, she said, "Oh that old thing? I thought it was a stupid coloring book you were too stupid to color." FML

#21287570
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39225) - you deserved it (3920)

On 10/29/2014 at 9:09am - kids - by NoColor (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I strained so hard while on the toilet that I gave myself a nosebleed. FML

#21286665
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28819) - you deserved it (5047)

On 10/27/2014 at 11:00pm - health - by Discipl (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my brother got upset at his video game and flung his DS at the wall, just as I was walking by. I got knocked out to the sound of someone crossing the finish line in MarioKart. FML

#21285323
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31655) - you deserved it (2525)

On 10/25/2014 at 11:28pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, I found a book in my attic that I always read when I was a kid. For old times sake I read it again. On the very first page, child me had written, "Go to page 15" so I did. On page 15, in big red letters, it said, "Get bent". I got pranked by myself. FML

#21281163
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29860) - you deserved it (7898)

On 10/19/2014 at 3:27pm - misc - by Deadpool434 (man) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, my 9-year-old daughter was acting out and wouldn't do her homework. I told her that if she didn't study, she wouldn't get her acceptance letter from Hogwarts. She looked into my eyes, straight through to my soul and said, "Hogwarts isn't real, retard." FML

#21280509
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34450) - you deserved it (12317)

On 10/18/2014 at 3:29pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, my husband decided to play a recording of me breaking wind in my sleep to my whole family at the dinner table. To make matters worse, it was a compilation of different noises from over a long period of time. My family was horrified and my husband seemed proud of himself. FML

#21222673
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38211) - you deserved it (3864)

On 07/28/2014 at 12:36am - misc - by blow away - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I woke up to a huge, disgusting bug next to my bed. As I tried to squish it, it suddenly flew off at high speed. Now I'm lying in bed, awake and terrified because I can hear it buzzing around but can't see it anywhere. FML

#21222166
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37756) - you deserved it (4825)

On 07/27/2014 at 2:44pm - animals - by Anonymous - Germany (Hessen)

Today, I woke up to a huge, disgusting bug next to my bed. As I tried to squish it, it suddenly flew off at high speed. Now I'm lying in bed, awake and terrified because I can hear it buzzing around but can't see it anywhere. FML

#21222166
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37756) - you deserved it (4825)

On 07/27/2014 at 2:44pm - animals - by Anonymous - Germany (Hessen)

Today, my dad asked me how I would feel about going on an all-expenses-paid, month-long holiday to the Caribbean. I was ecstatic and broke into tears of joy, saying I'd love it. He replied, "Yeah, me too. Shame it ain't happening!" then left for work, laughing his arse off. FML

#21220536
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44518) - you deserved it (8520)

On 07/25/2014 at 6:46pm - misc - by xXshitface4uXx (woman) - New Zealand (Bay of Plenty)

Today, while out grocery shopping with my mother, she asked me to hold a large bag of rice for her. Ten minutes later, I realized I'd been absent-mindedly stroking it the whole time, just like when I pick up my cat. FML



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