Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

ThePaJomaster

Offline (14 hours ago) | Search for a member

ThePaJomaster

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 64
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

ThePaJomaster's FML badges

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

ThePaJomaster's favorite FMLs

Today, my little sister decided to color-in my favorite black-and-white comic book. It was worth over $200. When I told my mother, she said, "Oh that old thing? I thought it was a stupid coloring book you were too stupid to color." FML

Today, I strained so hard while on the toilet that I gave myself a nosebleed. FML

#21286665
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25418) - you deserved it (4418)

On 10/27/2014 at 11:00pm - health - by Discipl (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my brother got upset at his video game and flung his DS at the wall, just as I was walking by. I got knocked out to the sound of someone crossing the finish line in MarioKart. FML

#21285323
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29602) - you deserved it (2309)

On 10/25/2014 at 11:28pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, I found a book in my attic that I always read when I was a kid. For old times sake I read it again. On the very first page, child me had written, "Go to page 15" so I did. On page 15, in big red letters, it said, "Get bent". I got pranked by myself. FML

#21281163
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28546) - you deserved it (7369)

On 10/19/2014 at 3:27pm - misc - by Deadpool434 (man) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, my 9-year-old daughter was acting out and wouldn't do her homework. I told her that if she didn't study, she wouldn't get her acceptance letter from Hogwarts. She looked into my eyes, straight through to my soul and said, "Hogwarts isn't real, retard." FML

#21280509
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33757) - you deserved it (12120)

On 10/18/2014 at 3:29pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, my husband decided to play a recording of me breaking wind in my sleep to my whole family at the dinner table. To make matters worse, it was a compilation of different noises from over a long period of time. My family was horrified and my husband seemed proud of himself. FML

#21222673
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38100) - you deserved it (3851)

On 07/28/2014 at 12:36am - misc - by blow away - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I woke up to a huge, disgusting bug next to my bed. As I tried to squish it, it suddenly flew off at high speed. Now I'm lying in bed, awake and terrified because I can hear it buzzing around but can't see it anywhere. FML

#21222166
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37594) - you deserved it (4806)

On 07/27/2014 at 2:44pm - animals - by Anonymous - Germany (Hessen)

Today, I woke up to a huge, disgusting bug next to my bed. As I tried to squish it, it suddenly flew off at high speed. Now I'm lying in bed, awake and terrified because I can hear it buzzing around but can't see it anywhere. FML

#21222166
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37594) - you deserved it (4806)

On 07/27/2014 at 2:44pm - animals - by Anonymous - Germany (Hessen)

Today, my dad asked me how I would feel about going on an all-expenses-paid, month-long holiday to the Caribbean. I was ecstatic and broke into tears of joy, saying I'd love it. He replied, "Yeah, me too. Shame it ain't happening!" then left for work, laughing his arse off. FML

#21220536
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42859) - you deserved it (7978)

On 07/25/2014 at 6:46pm - misc - by xXshitface4uXx (woman) - New Zealand (Bay of Plenty)

Today, while out grocery shopping with my mother, she asked me to hold a large bag of rice for her. Ten minutes later, I realized I'd been absent-mindedly stroking it the whole time, just like when I pick up my cat. FML

Today, every house in my neighborhood was vandalized. They skipped our house. Everybody thinks it was me. FML

#21209396
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50752) - you deserved it (3645)

On 07/14/2014 at 11:35pm - misc - by chloecamp - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I saw a drunk woman drop her purse in the street. I picked it up and went to give it to her, only for her to scream at me for being a thief. Then she started crying, apologized and hugged me, then got angry again, and finally threw up on me. FML

#21208109
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46226) - you deserved it (3764)

On 07/13/2014 at 5:14pm - misc - by all puked out (man) - Netherlands

Today, my coworker called in to say that he couldn't make it to work today because he was in a coma and asked if I could cover his shift. This isn't the first time he's tried to use this excuse. FML

#21203542
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42430) - you deserved it (3380)

On 07/09/2014 at 12:24am - work - by HowAreYouAlive - United States (Virginia)

Today, my dad finished installing our new home security system. One of the features lets him control any light in the house from his phone. He keeps trying to piss me off by turning my bedroom light on at random intervals. I don't know how to make it stop, and I can't sleep. FML

#21196465
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47254) - you deserved it (4557)

On 07/02/2014 at 5:52pm - misc - by pissed off (man) - United Kingdom (Milton Keynes)

Today, I sent my boyfriend a picture of my boobs. I quickly found out that I'd accidentally sent it to my sister instead. She sent me one back. FML

#21196202
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44867) - you deserved it (25532)

On 07/02/2014 at 1:01pm - intimacy - by boob sisters (woman) - United States (Georgia)



FML's blog

  • Krumla's Illustrated FML
  • It's Friday, so a bold font is required. I was sitting in my caravan by the side of busy road cooking cocktail sausages over a gas stove when I realised it was time to start writing something about this…

Friday 24 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: