Submit your FML story
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Offline (13 hours ago) | Search for a member
About TheOnlyMizLiv : Sorry if I said something dumb. It happens to the best of us. Plus this is the internet and I will probably never meet any of you sooo, there's that.
I'm currently working towards a Bachelor of Science in Biology with a minor in chemistry, and I hope to go to veterinary school at some point in the future. I absolutely adore animals (especially my pets), love riding horses, and generally dislike people (sorry again).
My other interests include managerial business, sociology, pharmacology (wink wink), and intelligent conversation. Message me if you need anything (I barely ever check though).
Checking you out
You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.
100 kick ass comments
100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
Today, I had my third date with a lovely guy. After I got home, I figured I'd try to see if I could find his Facebook profile. I did. His pictures were nice; lovely wedding photos for sure, and his newborn baby is adorable. FML
Today, while in my backyard, I had some insane gastric distress. I let out a fart so powerful that it made me yelp in pain, and left my asshole numb. A second later, I heard a cough come from over my neighbor's fence. I had to quietly limp back into my house in shame. FML
Today, I walked into my apartment and smelled something extremely repugnant. I asked my roommate what had happened and she said, "I didn't know how else to kill it!" She'd trapped a bat that was in our apartment, put it in the oven, and set it to 400 degrees. FML
Today, I was playing monopoly with my boyfriend and a few friends. After I bankrupted my boyfriend, he turned to me and said, "I fucked your best friend last night, so who really won?" I turned to the best friend in question, she looked at the board and said, "I'd like to buy a house please." FML
Today, while taking a walk in the forest, someone approached me and asked to borrow the knife I had clipped to my pocket. I happily obliged, assuming he just needed it as a tool. Instead, he used the knife to mug me, taking my cellphone and my wallet. I was robbed with my own knife. FML
Monday 1 September 2014