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Offline (the 10/18/2016 at 4:49pm)



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 13 October 1986 (30 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 13213
  • Number of comments : 2739
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 23 posted

About TheNewGuy03 : Site:
IG: @ClaytonJonesImages
iStock: thenewguy03

Writer, photographer, lover, and fighter.
Feel free to drop a line if you feel inclined.

|the kid|

TheNewGuy03's page activity

Visits<b>Salvanoi</b> - the 10/18/2016 at 5:08am<b>Reely_queenie</b> - the 10/16/2016 at 12:25pm<b>WCARlover</b> - the 10/12/2016 at 11:17pm<b>magicdust95</b> - the 10/12/2016 at 8:49am<b>n_a_v_y</b> - the 10/11/2016 at 7:59am<b>French_giirl</b> - the 10/09/2016 at 4:46pm<b>ThePaperDragon</b> - the 10/07/2016 at 9:42am<b>ChewyGranola</b> - the 10/05/2016 at 7:44pm<b>vhsjulia</b> - the 09/29/2016 at 1:15am<b>iheartbananas</b> - the 09/28/2016 at 12:28pm<b>bambi1989</b> - the 09/28/2016 at 12:01pm<b>RectumRecker</b> - the 09/28/2016 at 7:50am<b>jforren</b> - the 09/28/2016 at 6:56am<b>Participation</b> - the 09/27/2016 at 3:02pm<b>annoyedperson</b> - the 09/19/2016 at 3:03am<b>ThunderLightTSV</b> - the 09/15/2016 at 9:43pm<b>missa8604</b> - the 09/11/2016 at 9:39am<b>Sayeret_Matkal</b> - the 09/07/2016 at 1:10pm

Fucked!<b>magicdust95</b> - the 10/12/2016 at 2:49pm<b>ThunderLightTSV</b> - the 09/16/2016 at 3:43am<b>That1One1Chick</b> - the 08/24/2016 at 6:42am<b>LittleRed79</b> - the 08/19/2016 at 6:06pm<b>C8H18</b> - the 08/12/2016 at 2:32am<b>OlRed</b> - the 08/05/2016 at 1:07pm<b>ImKimitheEmo</b> - the 07/12/2016 at 8:38pm<b>interesting33</b> - the 07/10/2016 at 10:25pm<b>elizabeth_black</b> - the 07/03/2016 at 3:55am<b>Dreamer_in_Time</b> - the 06/24/2016 at 6:20am<b>maggeei</b> - the 06/20/2016 at 2:15am<b>Welshite</b> - the 06/15/2016 at 12:33am<b>marshm610</b> - the 05/31/2016 at 11:55pm<b>squilliam214</b> - the 05/31/2016 at 4:24pm<b>xSlyx</b> - the 05/28/2016 at 8:56am<b>Kira1965</b> - the 05/19/2016 at 7:51am<b>thejonac</b> - the 05/06/2016 at 10:47am<b>UndeadCity9</b> - the 04/21/2016 at 1:38am

TheNewGuy03's FML badges

I’m your new creative director

You had to give your opinion on this new “piece” that the whole world is talking about.

One more and it's business time

You've received 68 likes on your profile. Kinky.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

See all of TheNewGuy03's badges

TheNewGuy03's favorite FMLs

Today, my mother dragged me into Victoria's Secret to get my opinion on some lingerie. Lingerie she'll be using to get into my dad's pants this evening. FML

by Anonymous / 01/27/2011 at 12:02pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy

Today, feeling melancholy, I took a blanket out to the backyard and lay down to look at the clouds. My dad came out to ask me what I was doing. I told him, he smirked, squatted over my face, and farted. He then ran back inside and told my mom. She laughed. FML

by Anonymous / 01/06/2011 at 9:45pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my wife and I received confirmation that she has postpartum depression. When sharing this with the family, my mother exclaimed "I told you she was a psycho!" Now my wife is crying louder and more often than our newborn. Thanks, mom. FML

by ppd_sucks / 12/29/2010 at 3:03pm / United States (New Jersey) / Health

Today, I was naked on top of my boyfriend looking lovingly into his eyes. He then started to use my boobs as punching bags while singing "Eye of the Tiger". FML

by nemo518 / 12/23/2010 at 1:36am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, while I was working at McDonald's, a man and his wife ordered a Sundae. I gave the guy his sundae and realized I'd forgotten something. I said, "One second sir. Let me grab your nuts." I realized what I said when his wife gave me the death glare. FML

by stifledbyyou / 12/11/2010 at 7:06pm / United States (Louisiana) / Work

Today, my grandmother told me to say "sofa king retarded" really fast. Not only did it take me several attempts to figure out what it meant, I'm now grounded by my mother for having a foul mouth. FML

by bribreeeeeezyfreshhh / 12/06/2010 at 12:03pm / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous

Today, while my boyfriend and I were fighting in the car, I paused to take a bite of my burrito. Just at that moment, he slammed on the brakes, causing me to deepthroat my burrito. I threw up all over myself. He won the argument. FML

by serendipity1027 / 10/30/2010 at 9:40am / Love

Today, there were reports of a drunk and disorderly male, and I arrived at the scene only to discover a drunk guy having explosive diarrhoea in a photo booth. He turned to me and shouted "God save the Queen!" It's then that I remembered it was my job to do something about it. FML

by Anonymous / 10/14/2010 at 9:42am / Reserved / Work

Today, after bringing my dog back inside, he started whining. I thought it was because he wanted his toys, but he was really trying to say, "Help me," as a torpedo of diarrhea exploded out of him, leaving a trail down the hallway. FML

by ukfan / 10/06/2010 at 12:01pm / United States / Animals

Today, I got hit by a Salami log thrown from a car; its metal wire cut my shoulder. I got scarred by a flying hunk of pig. FML

by ifpigsflew / 10/04/2010 at 7:31pm / New Zealand (Auckland) / Health

Today, I was at the beach with my parents. They were walking hand in hand, when they spotted a crab. My Dad turned to my Mum and said "Oh, must've crawled out of my pubes!" they both laughed and kissed. I don't think they realized I was within hearing distance. FML

by Anonymous / 10/02/2010 at 9:12am / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous

Today, I married the woman I love. I wasn't the groom, I was the minister. FML

by Pr unlucky / 10/02/2010 at 4:07am / Australia (Western Australia) / Love

Today, at work I was bored so I started to doodle on MS paint. My boss walks by and asks me to join him in his office. When I do so, he fires me for drawing offensive material. I drew a rainbow. FML

by Anonymous / 09/21/2010 at 9:31pm / United States (California) / Work

Today, I was in a store when a child looked at me and said to his mother "look at that tall man!" His mother replied "he's an evil giant isn't he, darling?" I then mimed being an evil giant to make the kid laugh. His mother slapped me. FML

by cganon / 09/21/2010 at 8:44am / United Kingdom / Kids

Today, my neighbor came up to me, lowered her voice and said, "I suggest you buy some drapes for your bedroom dear..." When she started to walk away, she added, "...and a gym membership." FML

by niccy / 09/09/2010 at 12:33am / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous