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TheIsland

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TheIsland
  • Town/Country : United States
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 15 November 1997 (16 years)
  • Number of visits : 4122
  • Number of comments : 2283
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About TheIsland : I'd like to think that I'm controversial. But then again, I'd also like to be Batman, so who knows?

I'd also like to be considered a veteran here. But then again, I'd also like to be Bruce Wayne.

Regardless, it's indisputable that I'm weathered in this microcosm.

Whether or not you like me is up to you. That's the choice YOU have to make.

Message me. I get lonely sometimes on dark, rainy nights.

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TheIsland's FML badges

I never take things to heart

Having said that, my 3 comments on that FML were really worth it.

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TheIsland's favorite FMLs

Today, on my first day of being a trainee teacher in a classroom, I told a boy to stop using that stupid accent or else I'll give him a detention. Turns out he just moved here from Romania. FML

#18014852
235 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7166) - you deserved it (61525)

On 10/18/2011 at 12:08pm - kids - by KillMeNow (man) - United Kingdom (Sefton)

Today, I was watching my cousin shoot at targets on hay bales with his plastic pellet BB gun. After my sister asked him if it would hurt to be shot with one, my cousin smiled at her and said, "Ask your sister" as he shot me in the leg. I think my screaming was obvious enough. It hurts. FML

#17995977
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23846) - you deserved it (2608)

On 10/16/2011 at 3:06am - misc - by ThanksChris (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I went shopping with my mom. I went into my department and tried on some clothes. After a few minutes, there is an announcement that a child has gone missing. Staff are searching the store. I see my mom and she hugs me in tears and yells, "I found her!" I'm almost 17. FML

#17986846
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33771) - you deserved it (2863)

On 10/15/2011 at 1:13am - misc - by Ania (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my balls were stepped on while I was taking a nap in the park. The man said he didn't see me lying there. I was wearing a neon orange jacket. FML

#17986528
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24983) - you deserved it (9879)

On 10/15/2011 at 12:33am - misc - by dak-rod423 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I had to escort some dumbass teenager from Home Depot after I found him masturbating in one of the model washrooms. FML

#17982026
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31561) - you deserved it (2135)

On 10/14/2011 at 12:30pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Reserved

Today, for the first time, I beat my brother in a game of CoD. Not being a gamer, I was ecstatic. Later, when I was in the shower, my brother snuck in the bathroom, yelled "Napalm strike!" and threw our cat over the shower curtain like a furry grenade from hell. FML

#17981940
254 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38400) - you deserved it (3846)

On 10/14/2011 at 12:11pm - kids - by MLGreco - United States

Today, my father started drinking a little early. At some point, he got hungry and decided to boil eggs. He started a dozen, drank some more, and passed out on the couch. When I came home, all the water had boiled off and the eggs had exploded all over the kitchen. I'm still cleaning up the mess. FML

#17981925
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22592) - you deserved it (1500)

On 10/14/2011 at 12:09pm - misc - by francesa_loca - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, since I was taking a dump in my wife's parents' house, I lit a candle so that it wouldn't stink. While still sitting down, I went to blow it out and apparently, no matter how strong of a man you are, you will still scream like a little girl if hot wax falls on your penis. FML

#17981787
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30349) - you deserved it (10070)

On 10/14/2011 at 11:23am - intimacy - by cduran2011 - United States (Ohio)

Today, I awoke to rose petals leading me to the front garden. Curious, I followed them, thinking my boyfriend planned something romantic. As I walked out the door, I was hit in the face with a paper plate full of whipped cream and sprinkles, and then locked outside. FML

#17975450
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29100) - you deserved it (3626)

On 10/13/2011 at 3:20pm - love - by Eet- (woman) - United Kingdom (Dorset)

Today, I overheard my husband talking to our 6 year-old about animals for a project. I listened, thinking it was cute, until my husband said gleefully, "Remember to say this in your project: octopuses have 8 testicles." FML

#17973930
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25455) - you deserved it (3026)

On 10/13/2011 at 8:24am - kids - by daddoesn'tknowbest - United States

Today, I introduced my boyfriend to my family. It was going well until my 23 year old sister started telling him in detail about her constipation and that if she doesn't take a shit in a few days, it's going to come out of her mouth. FML

#17967494
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25657) - you deserved it (2334)

On 10/12/2011 at 1:55pm - misc - by Lauren - United Kingdom

Today, I introduced my boyfriend to my family. It was going well until my 23 year old sister started telling him in detail about her constipation and that if she doesn't take a shit in a few days, it's going to come out of her mouth. FML

#17967494
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25657) - you deserved it (2334)

On 10/12/2011 at 1:55pm - misc - by Lauren - United Kingdom

Today, my upstairs neighbor was leaving the parking lot, and stopped to wave. I smiled and waved back, only to realize that she was saying goodbye to her cat, who was sitting in the window. FML

#17966931
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19469) - you deserved it (2991)

On 10/12/2011 at 11:41am - animals - by octoberrain - United States

Today, I was driving my eight year-old son to school when a guy cut me off, prompting me to yell "douche bag" as a reflex out of the window. Realizing my mistake, I turned to my son and told him to never, ever talk like that. His response was, "Too late, douche bag." FML

#17966458
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10818) - you deserved it (39849)

On 10/12/2011 at 8:37am - kids - by John W. (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, after a week of searching, I found my escaped snake. In my umbrella, outside, after opening it over my head. FML



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