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TheIllitQemist

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TheIllitQemist

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 21 January 1996 (18 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1473
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About TheIllitQemist : Wooooooooooow :OOOOOOO

TheIllitQemist's page activity

Visits<b>SavannahSunshine</b> - the 04/08/2014 at 2:07am<b>Comet_Candy</b> - the 12/03/2013 at 3:48am<b>Linda_zlk</b> - the 11/30/2013 at 7:49am<b>blayzie420</b> - the 11/29/2013 at 2:14pm<b>brett1506</b> - the 11/20/2013 at 12:16am<b>Pixela7</b> - the 10/10/2013 at 10:39pm<b>semper_amo</b> - the 07/26/2013 at 10:51pm<b>chandlerbelacic</b> - the 04/28/2013 at 7:53pm<b>incendiaaa</b> - the 04/10/2013 at 6:33pm<b>qwillis98</b> - the 03/05/2013 at 6:22am

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Judgmental

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I agree, their lives suck

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TheIllitQemist's favorite FMLs

Today, I told my boyfriend that my fantasy was for him to eat me out on the dinner table. My boyfriend told me his was me in a Pikachu costume. FML

#4921754
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42045) - you deserved it (8384)

On 08/30/2009 at 1:38am - intimacy - by pokie (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I tried to initiate sex with my boyfriend. As I put on my most seductive moves, he ever so nicely says, "Babe, we just had sex last night. Why don't we wait a while so you've had some time to tighten back up." FML

#4859108
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57152) - you deserved it (8618)

On 08/27/2009 at 12:46pm - intimacy - by LizP40 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I spotted my neighbour's cat sitting on their front garden. I bent over and began walking towards it with my hand out saying, "Hello pussycat". I was only a few feet away when I realised I was talking to a white bag of sand. I turned to see my family in hysterics. FML

#4806587
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11889) - you deserved it (35834)

On 08/25/2009 at 7:40am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Reading)

Today, for the first time in about 3 years, I decided to clean my car. It was going really well until I looked down at what I was about to pick up. On the back seat floor lay a dead snake, which at one point, for god knows how long, was living in my car while I unknowningly drove it. FML

#4774663
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13379) - you deserved it (42553)

On 08/24/2009 at 12:49am - misc - by snakeboy (man) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, my fiancée, who believes in "sex after marriage" like me, told me she was pregnant. FML

#4736198
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49452) - you deserved it (5988)

On 08/22/2009 at 1:46pm - intimacy - by doomed (man) - United States (California)

Today, while showering I slipped and fell, taking down the shower curtain and smashing my head against the floor, resulting in a concussion. My family came running because of the noise and I lay naked, bleeding and concussed for few minutes before they could stop laughing enough to get me help. FML

#4548386
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42320) - you deserved it (2763)

On 08/15/2009 at 12:58pm - misc - by iltdtsm - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, I finally told my mom I am a lesbian. She started laughing and said 'Good one honey'. I told her I wasn't joking, and she took my face in her hands and said 'You ARE joking!' Then she left. FML

#4465464
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62088) - you deserved it (9115)

On 08/12/2009 at 12:44am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I went to Safeway. Go in, get stuff, come out, and I have almost no room to get into my car because an SUV was parked in a compact spot next to me all crooked. Irritated, I got a pen and paper and wrote 'Nice parking you F*ing idiot' and stuck it on the windshield. Then I notice someone was in the SUV. FML

#4442846
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14098) - you deserved it (41452)

On 08/11/2009 at 1:52am - misc - by Amanda (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was following my girlfriend up the stairs, I was pretty sure I was going to get lucky. As I was almost up the set of stairs, she lifted her skirt and revealed to me that she wasn't wearing any panties. I fell backwards down the stairs. FML

#4275637
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43496) - you deserved it (18881)

On 08/04/2009 at 3:55am - love - by Ouchithurt (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I went to a funeral for my coworker's father. While there, my dad's cell phone rang and he left to answer it. I turned to my brother and said, "I can't believe he brought his cell phone!" He whispered, "I can't believe he's got coverage. This is a dead zone!" I laughed loudly. At a funeral. FML

#4053619
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21830) - you deserved it (53408)

On 07/26/2009 at 1:00pm - misc - by Anonymous - Sent from mobile version

Today, I found out that my husband made a replica of our family on The Sims 3. I also found out he killed me off a couple weeks ago and made a new wife, KiKi. FML

#4043992
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58959) - you deserved it (5399)

On 07/26/2009 at 12:28am - love - by nosrepamai82 (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, at the dentist, the new, rather airy assistant went to prep me for an extraction. She began pulling on something in my mouth, and a moment later, I felt intense pain and then the wetness of blood. She was trying to pull out "that weird wire thing". In other words, my permanent retainer. FML

#3958624
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61897) - you deserved it (2326)

On 07/22/2009 at 6:36pm - health - by retainer (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my friend got drunk. He always pukes when he gets drunk, but I decided to drive him home anyway. He didn't puke the whole ride. We arrived at his house and he got out. Right as I was about to drive away he stumbled back to my car because he forgot his wallet. He grabbed it and puked on me. FML

#3786711
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38388) - you deserved it (5423)

On 07/15/2009 at 9:53pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I had my first kiss at a party. Later, I was told that the guy had been dared to kiss the ugliest girl in the room. FML

#3714352
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70364) - you deserved it (6010)

On 07/13/2009 at 11:00am - misc - by FirstKiss (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I thought my boyfriend of 6 years was going to propose to me. We're highschool sweethearts and he was my first. Just when he was looking into my eyes he says, " I've been seeing someone else for 2 years and I'm choosing her over you... it was a tough decision". FML

#3533001
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65568) - you deserved it (3691)

On 07/06/2009 at 7:27pm - love - by imaloser (woman) - Canada (Ontario)



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