About TheFamilyElf : Hello, curious person. I'm not here to get into serious discussions/arguments about life, religion, or morals. I'm here to laugh at other people's misery and at those who choose to spend their time arguing on FML. Does that make me a bad person? Hmm.... Oh well.
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TheFamilyElf's favorite FMLs
Today, I was in the hospital with rib injuries after being rear-ended by a truck. The doc said, "Well, you'll probably feel like you've been hit by a truck for a while." Everyone laughed, except me. When I said he was being insensitive, he replied, "Calm down, I'm just ribbing you." FML
by ...... / 05/16/2012 at 6:29pm / United States / Health
by picklet / 05/12/2012 at 10:36am / Malaysia (Negeri Sembilan) / Work
Today, I was heading to the bathroom when I clearly saw a little boy walking into my bedroom. My wife and I live alone, and I screamed at the top of my lungs, thinking he was a ghost. Turns out my wife collected him from school for a friend, and I just didn't hear them arrive. FML
by rongo12 / 05/11/2012 at 5:41pm / Miscellaneous
by Jesse / 05/10/2012 at 5:22pm / United States (Washington) / Health
by thatscreamerguy / 04/03/2012 at 7:11am / United Kingdom (Surrey) / Geek
by mel_bear_ / 03/14/2012 at 10:38am / United Kingdom (Reading) / Love
by Anon / 02/11/2012 at 10:01pm / United States (Arizona) / Love
Today, I was looking through some old family pictures for a scrapbook I'm making. I found images of my dad passed out in his underwear, my great-grandpa having a drunken bath, and an unidentified moustachioed man sitting on the toilet, giving the photographer the finger. FML
by Meowingtons500 / 11/27/2011 at 11:02pm / Canada (Saskatchewan) / Miscellaneous
Today, my six-year-old got in an argument with my four-year-old. I told them to go outside. The next thing I know, my son was standing in front of his sister's burning Barbie's Malibu Dream House, singing "Burn Baby Burn" and cackling madly. FML
by TraumatizedMother / 10/02/2011 at 3:27am / United States (New York) / Kids
Today, after months of living with my roommate's horrific snoring, I looked over to see her sleeping quietly. Elated that I might actually get a full night of rest for once, I went to bed. Just as my eyelids began to droop, she started making vile hissing sounds. Yes, hissing. FML
by turnedintoinsomniac / 01/21/2011 at 2:46pm / United States (California) / Health
Today, I woke up to an early Christmas present on my car. It was a nicely wrapped box containing a dead bird, a half eaten sandwich, and a note reading "MERRY F**KING CHRISTMAS STAN." This will probably be my only Christmas present. My name is Luke. FML
by Anonymous / 12/12/2010 at 9:36pm / United States (Georgia) / Animals
by Betchsadface / 07/13/2010 at 12:34am / United States / Animals
Today, I went to dinner with my mom and her new boyfriend. At the restaurant, while we were eating, he started clapping and singing "if you're happy and you know it." My mom joined in. And they sang loudly. Loud enough for the entire restaurant to go quiet and stare. FML
by 1thapp3ns / 01/09/2010 at 11:29pm / United States (Arizona) / Miscellaneous
by mannnnn2717 / 12/20/2009 at 5:41pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous
Today, I saw my four-year-old son running around outside, and copying everything our dog was doing. I thought it was cute, so I went to grab the camera. When I went back outside, I saw my dog eating a dead rabbit, and my son doing the same. FML
by Anonymous / 12/13/2009 at 7:42pm / United States (Texas) / Kids
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, I was fired from my job because I, in my bosses words, "Abided by company policy to such an…