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About TheFamilyElf : Hello, curious person. I'm not here to get into serious discussions/arguments about life, religion, or morals. I'm here to laugh at other people's misery and at those who choose to spend their time arguing on FML. Does that make me a bad person? Hmm.... Oh well.
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Today, I found out that two kids were able to, without much effort, convince my 16-year-old daughter that her friend's house was used to smuggle out Jews during WWII. His house was built in 2007. We also live in America. FML
Today, I drove 45 minutes to take my full driver's test. At the end of the test, the instructor told me I'd done everything perfectly, but had failed before I left the parking lot. I didn't see the "one way" sign at the entrance. FML
Today, I returned home to my parents' house, drunk. Hungry, I grabbed a slice of bread and some butter and took two mouthfuls. Five hours later, my mother woke me up and dragged me to the kitchen. In the middle of the table was a buttered, half-eaten sponge. FML
Today, a male co-worker asked me in what shape I shave my pubic hair. Jokingly, I replied that I have a very nicely trimmed dodecahedron. Now he's telling everyone at work that I have a venereal disease. FML
Today, I was listening to some Michael Jackson through my earphones when I saw this really cute girl. Trying to impress, I aproached her while doing some dance moves, not thinking about how unbelievably stupid it must have looked without the music. FML
Today, I spoke to my hormonal pregnant wife about baby names. I told her I liked the name "Tabitha", and she went into a full rage about how all letters have textures, colours and emotions and how T is an evil letter. Apparently it's orange, plastic, and a needle trying to stab her eyes out. FML
Today, I was so out of it from a lack of sleep and an accidental antihistamine overdose, I tried to offer my cat a cup of tea, and actually got pissed off when he didn't reply. It took me a good five minutes to understand what just happened. FML
Today, I asked my girlfriend why she never lets me in her house. She stared blankly and said, "What is inside is not for thine eyes." I told her best friend about this creepiness later on. She sighed and said, "T'was not for mine eyes either. I didst fail to listen." I feel like I'm losing my mind here. FML
Today, I overheard my boss and a co-worker talking about me. Apparently when I speak, I slur my words so badly that it sounds like I'm speaking in tongues. According to my boss, "he could be possessed by a demon right now, and we'd never even notice." FML
Friday 22 May 2015