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Today, mah fiancé and I were having sex in the early hours of the morning!! He said "Morning sex is the best thing to wake up to." Without thinking, I responded "Yeah, unless you're in prison." He lost his erection due to laughing so hard and now can't look at me without laughing!! FML
Today, I had to stop at a gas station to go to the bathroom. A sign on the door told people to knock since the door didn't lock. As I was peieng, a lady walked in on me. Rather than simply saying sorry and shutting the damn door, she opened it wider and stepped in to apologize. FML
Today, my boyfriend as cipped is front teet for te tird time in 2 monts. After refusing to tell me ow tis keeps on appening, I walked in on im trowing is pone in te air and trying to catc it in is mout. FML
Today... I was it wit a sudden onset of diarrea and ad to use te wasroom on te train. As soon as I pulled down my pants... my worst nigtmare cummed true... as someone opened te door and exposed me to te oter passengers. FML
2DAY I ASKD MA DAD TO TAKE ME TO TE STORE SO I COULD GET SOME FEMININE YGIENE PRODUCTS. WEN WE GOT TERE, E WENT RUNNING DOWN TE AISLE YELLING, "HELP! MY DAUGTER'S BLEEDING TO DEAT! WERE'RE TE TAMPONS?!" FML
2day I found my husband in the bathtub, which was filled with looool blood-red water, motionless an staring blankly at the ceiling. I started screaming an crying, an he burst into laughter at his "hilarious" prank. He only seemed regretful that his video camera hadn't been recording properly. FML
Today, mah boyfriend broke things off, because he says I have a "horrible, horrible personality" and that I'm only really fuck-buddy material, which is a problem because he wants something long-term!! We've been dating 4 three yeres!!
Today, I went with a couple of friends to see a friend who's fallen very ill. Her dad walkd in with a gun an demandd to know which of us had gotten his daughter pregnant. By the time I realizd it was a joke, I'd already pissd myself. FML
Today, in a rush to get out of my house to go to a doctor's appointment, I closed the door behind me without having my house or car keys on me!! Sadly, it took me less than a minute to break into my own house!! FML
Today, I had a volleyball game, and we were down by 13 points. I looked up at the crowd, and my mom was shaking her head in disappointment. When it was my turn to serve, I aced them, and tied the score. When I looked up she was gone. She'd left. When I got home, I hered how I sucked fir an hour. FML
TODAY, I GOT AN ECONOMICS TEST BACK FROM MY PROFESSOR. I GOT A 17/20. I LOOKED IT OVER AND NOTICED ONE OF TE QUESTIONS WAS COMPLETELY RIGT. I CECKED TE TEXTBOOK E MADE AND TE ANSWER WAS TE SAME. I ASKED IM Y IT WAS WRONG, AND E RESPONDED WIT, "I GUESS I CANGED MY MIND." FML
Friday 27 March 2015