TheEpicScrewup

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TheEpicScrewup

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 4467
  • Number of comments : 16
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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TheEpicScrewup's page activity

Visits<b>senor_octubre</b> - the 04/11/2016 at 6:22am<b>Annonnymister</b> - the 03/03/2016 at 9:04am<b>jdam123</b> - the 02/19/2016 at 2:15pm<b>rahatb98</b> - the 12/23/2015 at 8:22am<b>rachelpayne18</b> - the 02/02/2015 at 3:32pm<b>Shadowsofthedead</b> - the 05/21/2014 at 7:44pm<b>EverythingNerdy</b> - the 01/15/2014 at 11:22am<b>TheMoonMonkey</b> - the 02/17/2013 at 8:58pm<b>ipwns</b> - the 05/06/2009 at 8:48am<b>FMLK1Pac</b> - the 05/03/2009 at 7:11pm<b>username666</b> - the 04/24/2009 at 7:20pm<b>crazyhobo</b> - the 03/10/2009 at 12:10am

Fucked!<b>rachelpayne18</b> - the 02/02/2015 at 9:32pm

TheEpicScrewup's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

TheEpicScrewup's favorite FMLs

Today, I got into a heated argument at a restaurant with a guy I am seeing because he refused to let me pay for the bill and I thought it was sexist. When he finally agreed, I gave the waiter my card, only to have him return a minute later telling me it was declined. FML

by feminist / 06/17/2009 at 11:25am / Canada (Nova Scotia) / Money

Today, I went to a bar with two guys I was interested in. The first I'd been trying to go out with all semester. The second I had gone to dinner with and he seemed nice. I was the designated driver. They drank too much and, on the way home, hooked up in the back seat. FML

by sad_gay / 04/16/2009 at 4:40am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I had dinner with the girl I thought I would end up marrying. Everything was going well and after I had paid the bill, she said she was a lesbian. Just when I thought it couldn't get any worse, she challenged me to see who could hook up with a straight girl first. I lost. FML

by Anonymous / 04/15/2009 at 8:13pm / United States (Utah) / Love

Today, I went on a date with a guy for the first time. We went to Starbucks and got coffee. We talked for a while, and we were joking and having a good time. Suddenly, he put his hand on my stomach and said, "Soon, this will be plump with my seed." FML

by creepermagnet / 04/06/2009 at 3:39pm / United States (Maryland) / Love

Today, I awoke to the sound of my dad knocking on my dorm room door for a surprise visit. He's barely outside the door and I pull the door open and say hey, when my roommate strips naked pulls the door open, kisses me on the cheek, says in an uber-gay voice, "Thanks for last night", and leaves. FML

by konens_dick / 03/22/2009 at 6:38am / United States (Washington) / Intimacy

Today, I went to the dentist. He asked me to lean my head closer to him so he could get a better look at my teeth. He was hard. FML

by rmb131 / 03/20/2009 at 12:33am / Canada (Alberta) / Love

Today, my cat got into the bathroom while I was changing my tampon. As I was throwing the applicator away, I felt a sharp pain around my vagina; I looked down to find him swatting at the tampon string. FML

by fannylovesfelix / 03/10/2009 at 7:05pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I went on a run with this cute guy I know. I was sweating untractively and profusely so I decided to discretly grab a leaf from a tree and wipe my face with it. A bird had done the same with his ass few minutes ago. FML

by broussimousse / 03/10/2009 at 4:42pm / United Kingdom (London) / Animals

Today, I went home for my grandma's 95th birthday. While there she noticed my new tongue piercing and asked why I would get it done. Before I could reply, my cousin says "So she can can make the boys happier when she's sucking on them." She's 9 years old. FML

by epictothemax / 03/10/2009 at 4:40pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, I stretched out my wedding dress on my bed so it could air out before the big day tomorrow. Later I returned to my room only to find my cat on my wedding dress, it peed on it. FML

by Noname / 03/10/2009 at 11:53am / United States (Texas) / Animals

Today, I was taking the subway to school. It was around 6:30am and I was listening to music and catching up on homework. When I took my headphones off to readjust them, I heard some grunting. I looked over at the man across from me to see he was masturbating. FML

by danesy / 03/09/2009 at 10:04pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML

by RC3Welly / 03/09/2009 at 6:58pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy