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TheEpicScrewup

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TheEpicScrewup
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 4113
  • Number of comments : 16
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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TheEpicScrewup's favorite FMLs

Today, I got into a heated argument at a restaurant with a guy I am seeing because he refused to let me pay for the bill and I thought it was sexist. When he finally agreed, I gave the waiter my card, only to have him return a minute later telling me it was declined. FML

#2965217
234 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9776) - you deserved it (67443)

On 06/17/2009 at 11:25am - money - by feminist (woman) - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, I went to a bar with two guys I was interested in. The first I'd been trying to go out with all semester. The second I had gone to dinner with and he seemed nice. I was the designated driver. They drank too much and, on the way home, hooked up in the back seat. FML

#1014149
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (95175) - you deserved it (14286)

On 04/16/2009 at 4:40am - intimacy - by sad_gay (man) - United States (California)

Today, I had dinner with the girl I thought I would end up marrying. Everything was going well and after I had paid the bill, she said she was a lesbian. Just when I thought it couldn't get any worse, she challenged me to see who could hook up with a straight girl first. I lost. FML

#1002619
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (75983) - you deserved it (6144)

On 04/15/2009 at 8:13pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, I went on a date with a guy for the first time. We went to Starbucks and got coffee. We talked for a while, and we were joking and having a good time. Suddenly, he put his hand on my stomach and said, "Soon, this will be plump with my seed." FML

#836792
907 comments

I agree, your life sucks (329240) - you deserved it (35705)

On 04/06/2009 at 3:39pm - misc - by creepermagnet (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I awoke to the sound of my dad knocking on my dorm room door for a surprise visit. He's barely outside the door and I pull the door open and say hey, when my roommate strips naked pulls the door open, kisses me on the cheek, says in an uber-gay voice, "Thanks for last night", and leaves. FML

#527227
515 comments

I agree, your life sucks (227262) - you deserved it (29242)

On 03/22/2009 at 6:38am - intimacy - by konens_dick (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I went to the dentist. He asked me to lean my head closer to him so he could get a better look at my teeth. He was hard. FML

#481871
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (96826) - you deserved it (5348)

On 03/20/2009 at 12:33am - misc - by rmb131 (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my cat got into the bathroom while I was changing my tampon. As I was throwing the applicator away, I felt a sharp pain around my vagina; I looked down to find him swatting at the tampon string. FML

Today, I went on a run with this cute guy I know. I was sweating untractively and profusely so I decided to discretly grab a leaf from a tree and wipe my face with it. A bird had done the same with his ass few minutes ago. FML

#261898
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37018) - you deserved it (26950)

On 03/10/2009 at 4:42pm - animals - by broussimousse - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I went home for my grandma's 95th birthday. While there she noticed my new tongue piercing and asked why I would get it done. Before I could reply, my cousin says "So she can can make the boys happier when she's sucking on them." She's 9 years old. FML

#261877
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52816) - you deserved it (11150)

On 03/10/2009 at 4:40pm - misc - by epictothemax - United States (Illinois)

Today, I stretched out my wedding dress on my bed so it could air out before the big day tomorrow. Later I returned to my room only to find my cat on my wedding dress, it peed on it. FML

#260115
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52284) - you deserved it (14848)

On 03/10/2009 at 11:53am - animals - by Noname (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was taking the subway to school. It was around 6:30am and I was listening to music and catching up on homework. When I took my headphones off to readjust them, I heard some grunting. I looked over at the man across from me to see he was masturbating. FML

#256186
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63981) - you deserved it (2935)

On 03/09/2009 at 10:04pm - intimacy - by danesy - United States (New York)



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