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TheEllis

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TheEllis

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  • Number of visits : 113
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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TheEllis's page activity

Visits<b>singer0421</b> - the 05/08/2014 at 12:07am

TheEllis's FML badges

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TheEllis's favorite FMLs

Today, I woke up to a strange noise. I looked over to see my drunk husband standing at the dresser. I asked him what he was doing. "Peeing." I asked him, "In the sock drawer?" There was a pause. "Am I peeing in the wrong drawer?" FML

#20779714
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50477) - you deserved it (4171)

On 07/13/2013 at 10:32am - misc - by speechless - United States (Indiana)

Today, at work at a farm, we got a new calf. It looked like it had to poop, but was having difficulty. About four hours later it still hadn't pooped. Turns out it was born without an actual butthole. It was there, just sealed up by skin. I literally had to cut this poor calf a new butthole. FML

#20617044
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (79600) - you deserved it (4089)

On 04/23/2013 at 10:01pm - animals - by halliemarie1818 - United States

Today, after sharing my first night in bed with my boyfriend, I woke up early, and decided to rouse him with some surprise oral. It didn't go so well; he woke up screaming and gasped, "OH MY GOD! I thought you were my cat!" before telling me to continue. FML

#20412240
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41745) - you deserved it (8167)

On 12/21/2012 at 8:16pm - intimacy - by anonymaiacciu (woman) - France

Today, as I passed my fiancé the pancakes I had just made, he vocalised his happiness with a groan that was EXACTLY like the one he makes when we have sex. So on a sexiness rating, I'm a pancake. FML

#16830910
353 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35392) - you deserved it (9748)

On 06/24/2011 at 6:45am - intimacy - by Eve (woman) - Ireland (Cork)

Today, I went to a zoo that had a gorilla in a cage. I walked up, and the gorilla stopped what he was doing, looked me in the eyes, and started jacking off. FML

#13005397
295 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38051) - you deserved it (9641)

On 09/11/2010 at 3:25pm - intimacy - by gorillalove - United States (Texas)



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