About TheElBurrrito : The picture says it all. Boobs (a.k.a. succulent dairy holders for babies and grown men) and video games. Xbox to be more exact. I don't see any other reason for living........ Calm down, I'm actually not a shallow person. My sense of humor is a little bit on the inappropriate side, so don't take offense to any jokes I make. I'm not good at this whole "about me" thing, and I honestly think this is maybe the third time I've ever done this. Dallas Mavericks, video games and Batman is all you need to get my attention. If this peeks your interest or just want to talk, feel free to message away. I'm not really sure how to end these things, so I'll just say......
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TheElBurrrito's favorite FMLs
by zamwow / 12/20/2013 at 6:36pm / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy
Today, a man started a deep conversation with me at the bus stop about life, death, and the miracles of things we take for granted every day. I was really enjoying it until he looked at his watch and said, "Oh shit, mushrooms make me lose track of time!" and ran off into the night. FML
by whatjusthappened / 12/20/2013 at 3:45am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 12/19/2013 at 3:52pm / United States / Love
by hot_friend / 12/19/2013 at 1:13am / United States / Love
Today, my class was interrupted by flowers, balloons and chocolates. Then he sang to me a song he wrote himself. This was all for our one-year anniversary. It probably would have been the best day of my life... if I knew who he was. FML
by romance sucks. / 12/18/2013 at 4:20pm / United States (Ohio) / Love
by Anonymous / 12/17/2013 at 4:57pm / Egypt / Kids
by Well this Is Awkward / 12/17/2013 at 3:02pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love
by confsused / 12/16/2013 at 12:49pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
by The_Rest_of_the_Story / 12/14/2013 at 1:38am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
Today, my sister brought a guy home while our parents were out. They had sex in her bedroom. I heard everything. The worst part wasn't her stupidly excessive moaning; it was that the moans sounded eerily similar to a cow mooing. FML
by puking now / 12/13/2013 at 7:34pm / Canada (Alberta) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 12/10/2013 at 6:38pm / Bangladesh / Love
by Anonymous / 12/10/2013 at 4:06pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy
by igotpride / 12/09/2013 at 4:01pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by mistletoe / 12/08/2013 at 9:21pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy
Today, I was chatting with my mother. She was telling me about some new mouthwash she recently got, and the moment the word "gargle" escaped her lips, my husband muttered just a little too loudly from the kitchen, "How about gargling my balls instead, bitch." Our family is now at war. FML
by Anonymous / 12/08/2013 at 3:39pm / United States / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 2Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's… 3Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his…