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TheElBurrrito

Offline (the 02/16/2014 at 2:02am) | Search for a member

TheElBurrrito

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 3 August 1988 (25 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2581
  • Number of comments : 88
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About TheElBurrrito : The picture says it all. Boobs (a.k.a. succulent dairy holders for babies and grown men) and video games. Xbox to be more exact. I don't see any other reason for living........ Calm down, I'm actually not a shallow person. My sense of humor is a little bit on the inappropriate side, so don't take offense to any jokes I make. I'm not good at this whole "about me" thing, and I honestly think this is maybe the third time I've ever done this. Dallas Mavericks, video games and Batman is all you need to get my attention. If this peeks your interest or just want to talk, feel free to message away. I'm not really sure how to end these things, so I'll just say......

TheElBurrrito's page activity

Visits<b>TrackGirl19</b> - 14 hours ago<b>LeashaJoy5595</b> - the 07/28/2014 at 2:57am<b>dixie217</b> - the 07/28/2014 at 12:11am<b>thatoneguy_95</b> - the 07/27/2014 at 11:18pm<b>lurch87</b> - the 07/27/2014 at 5:48pm<b>jack_jill05</b> - the 07/20/2014 at 11:09pm<b>sweetnsourrr</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 8:22am<b>DenBriZel</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 6:07am<b>Sassie8810</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 12:18am<b>_smammy_</b> - the 07/14/2014 at 11:38pm<b>jayjaybusby</b> - the 07/14/2014 at 10:38pm<b>reneetlovesyou</b> - the 07/14/2014 at 8:16pm<b>Badman6969</b> - the 07/14/2014 at 3:51pm<b>magikarpsmurfs</b> - the 07/14/2014 at 1:37pm<b>Arwen_Evenstar</b> - the 07/14/2014 at 10:07am<b>princesshaleigh</b> - the 07/14/2014 at 3:42am<b>LisaDay</b> - the 07/14/2014 at 1:15am<b>gotaplanstan</b> - the 07/14/2014 at 12:51am

TheElBurrrito's FML badges

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

See all of TheElBurrrito's badges

TheElBurrrito's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to a nativity play. My husband showed up late and drunk, and I had to explain to him why booming "Yeah! Time to get baby Jesus up in this shit!" when our son was about to go on stage got us kicked out. FML

#21001530
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38201) - you deserved it (3853)

On 12/22/2013 at 4:28pm - kids - by bastard (woman) - United States

Today, it's been a little over a month since my dad started taking yoga lessons. We always joked around behind his back that he was just doing it so he could get flexible enough to suck himself off. Well, that joke was confirmed as reality when I walked in on him trying just that. FML

#21001267
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49271) - you deserved it (6828)

On 12/22/2013 at 12:22pm - intimacy - by bleach bleach bleach (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, while going down on my girlfriend, she stopped moaning and told me to stop because she couldn't fake it anymore. FML

#21001045
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51523) - you deserved it (14879)

On 12/22/2013 at 3:45am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. Just as he was about to finish, he pulled out and came in his hand. He then flicked his hand towards my face and yelled, "Sha-ZAM!" FML

#20999459
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52864) - you deserved it (7892)

On 12/20/2013 at 6:36pm - intimacy - by zamwow (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, a man started a deep conversation with me at the bus stop about life, death, and the miracles of things we take for granted every day. I was really enjoying it until he looked at his watch and said, "Oh shit, mushrooms make me lose track of time!" and ran off into the night. FML

#20998821
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38956) - you deserved it (4379)

On 12/20/2013 at 3:45am - misc - by whatjusthappened (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because I canceled my Gamefly account. Seems that was the only thing keeping us together. FML

#20998173
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36161) - you deserved it (3978)

On 12/19/2013 at 3:52pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend said he was in love with my best friend instead of me. I wouldn't be so upset if it wasn't the third boyfriend in a row this happened with. FML

#20997702
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50970) - you deserved it (4416)

On 12/19/2013 at 1:13am - love - by hot_friend (woman) - United States

Today, my class was interrupted by flowers, balloons and chocolates. Then he sang to me a song he wrote himself. This was all for our one-year anniversary. It probably would have been the best day of my life... if I knew who he was. FML

#20997138
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44743) - you deserved it (3464)

On 12/18/2013 at 4:20pm - love - by romance sucks. (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my teenage daughter found out that she's pregnant, but insists she's still a virgin. Who does she think knocked her up? God? FML

#20996030
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53768) - you deserved it (7093)

On 12/17/2013 at 4:57pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Egypt

Today, my boyfriend gave me his theory on how the world would be a better place if Hitler had won the 2nd World War. FML

#20995909
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40736) - you deserved it (5977)

On 12/17/2013 at 3:02pm - misc - by Well this Is Awkward (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out that my dad is actually my uncle, and vice-versa. FML

#20994621
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52983) - you deserved it (2975)

On 12/16/2013 at 12:49pm - misc - by confsused - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I would like to thank the program designer that put "Set as home page" directly under "Remove from history". FML

#20991949
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37301) - you deserved it (9940)

On 12/14/2013 at 1:38am - misc - by The_Rest_of_the_Story (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my sister brought a guy home while our parents were out. They had sex in her bedroom. I heard everything. The worst part wasn't her stupidly excessive moaning; it was that the moans sounded eerily similar to a cow mooing. FML

#20991588
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48775) - you deserved it (4478)

On 12/13/2013 at 7:34pm - intimacy - by puking now (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, while trying to break up with my girlfriend, I somehow ended up begging her not to break up with me. I'm still not sure how that happened. FML

#20988052
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37560) - you deserved it (19113)

On 12/10/2013 at 6:38pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Bangladesh

Today, I found out that I am bleeding from my cervix and must refrain from having sex for the next two weeks. My fiancé pointedly asked if my cervix has anything to do with my mouth. FML

#20987856
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49921) - you deserved it (9728)

On 12/10/2013 at 4:06pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (New York)



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