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TheElBurrrito

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TheElBurrrito
  • Town/Country : Dallas, TX, United States
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 7 August 1988 (24 years)
  • Number of visits : 598
  • Number of comments : 61
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About TheElBurrrito : Anyone up for writing my description? Inbox me your creativity.

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TheElBurrrito's favorite FMLs

Today, my mother and girlfriend were joking around and talking about the embarrassing things I've done. After they'd had a lengthly conversation, my girlfriend mentions "And he always farts during sex." FML

#15895306
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31398) - you deserved it (7770)

On 04/23/2011 at 4:37am - intimacy - by Sadman (man) - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, my cat took a shit in my toaster. FML

#15852262
290 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42880) - you deserved it (6323)

On 04/19/2011 at 10:21pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was finally having sex with the man of my dreams, and then he fell asleep on top of me. FML

#15828645
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33222) - you deserved it (5968)

On 04/17/2011 at 11:12pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, my husband and I were diagnosed with herpes. We've been together for five years and were both virgins before. Even the doctor couldn't give any other explanation. FML

#15820031
717 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42360) - you deserved it (5639)

On 04/17/2011 at 10:29am - health - by bumpyroad - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, after receiving the third call this week from teachers about my son falling asleep in class, I decided that it would be a good idea to hide his Xbox controllers. He decided it would be a good idea to hide my diabetes medication. FML

#15805325
383 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38058) - you deserved it (13504)

On 04/16/2011 at 8:35am - health - by bbedlock (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my husband of 30 years told me that he thought we should 'just be friends'. FML

#15793085
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52005) - you deserved it (3304)

On 04/15/2011 at 7:38am - love - by ZaraAce (woman) - United Kingdom (Bedfordshire)

Today, I accidentally pocket dialed my sister while I was masturbating. FML

#15791690
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17249) - you deserved it (40356)

On 04/15/2011 at 1:34am - intimacy - by fmyhabit - United States (Utah)

Today, I found that the love of my life is 3.5 inches, fully erect. My cell phone is bigger than that. FML

#15749213
770 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57612) - you deserved it (10130)

On 04/12/2011 at 12:00am - intimacy - by Artic (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I got my wisdom teeth pulled. My usually detached and unromantic boyfriend rushed right over after work with flowers and movies. A little while later, he admitted excitedly that he'd heard the numbing medication also works on gag reflexes and wanted to test the theory. FML

#15741479
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37496) - you deserved it (5065)

On 04/11/2011 at 3:27pm - intimacy - by Numb (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I got my wisdom teeth pulled. My usually detached and unromantic boyfriend rushed right over after work with flowers and movies. A little while later, he admitted excitedly that he'd heard the numbing medication also works on gag reflexes and wanted to test the theory. FML

#15741479
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37496) - you deserved it (5065)

On 04/11/2011 at 3:27pm - intimacy - by Numb (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was talking to a guy on the phone. I told him I'd be right back. I thought I'd put him on mute. Turns out he heard everything as I took the biggest dump I've ever taken. We haven't talked since. FML

#15689695
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11411) - you deserved it (29592)

On 04/08/2011 at 1:31am - love - by Payte -

Today, while discussing having sex for the first time with my boyfriend, I asked what method of birth control we should use. He replied, "Anal." FML

#15627116
288 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40484) - you deserved it (10807)

On 04/03/2011 at 9:46pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, while driving with my step mother, she attempted to have phone sex with my dad. FML

#15621485
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46315) - you deserved it (3209)

On 04/03/2011 at 1:55pm - intimacy - by Hanna (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend pulled on my pubes and made 'engine starting' noises. This was his attempt at foreplay. FML

#15617936
252 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30555) - you deserved it (10849)

On 04/03/2011 at 7:27am - intimacy - by dahs - United Kingdom (Derbyshire)

Today, I got back from vacation and walked in on my boyfriend and my brother in my bed. FML

#15617038
346 comments

I agree, your life sucks (91176) - you deserved it (6398)

On 04/03/2011 at 4:06am - intimacy - by Now Single - Reserved



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