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TheElBurrrito

Offline (the 02/16/2014 at 2:02am) | Search for a member

TheElBurrrito

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 3 August 1988 (25 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2584
  • Number of comments : 88
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About TheElBurrrito : The picture says it all. Boobs (a.k.a. succulent dairy holders for babies and grown men) and video games. Xbox to be more exact. I don't see any other reason for living........ Calm down, I'm actually not a shallow person. My sense of humor is a little bit on the inappropriate side, so don't take offense to any jokes I make. I'm not good at this whole "about me" thing, and I honestly think this is maybe the third time I've ever done this. Dallas Mavericks, video games and Batman is all you need to get my attention. If this peeks your interest or just want to talk, feel free to message away. I'm not really sure how to end these things, so I'll just say......

TheElBurrrito's page activity

Visits<b>TrackGirl19</b> - yesterday at 1:43pm<b>LeashaJoy5595</b> - the 07/28/2014 at 2:57am<b>dixie217</b> - the 07/28/2014 at 12:11am<b>thatoneguy_95</b> - the 07/27/2014 at 11:18pm<b>lurch87</b> - the 07/27/2014 at 5:48pm<b>jack_jill05</b> - the 07/20/2014 at 11:09pm<b>sweetnsourrr</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 8:22am<b>DenBriZel</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 6:07am<b>Sassie8810</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 12:18am<b>_smammy_</b> - the 07/14/2014 at 11:38pm<b>jayjaybusby</b> - the 07/14/2014 at 10:38pm<b>reneetlovesyou</b> - the 07/14/2014 at 8:16pm<b>Badman6969</b> - the 07/14/2014 at 3:51pm<b>magikarpsmurfs</b> - the 07/14/2014 at 1:37pm<b>Arwen_Evenstar</b> - the 07/14/2014 at 10:07am<b>princesshaleigh</b> - the 07/14/2014 at 3:42am<b>LisaDay</b> - the 07/14/2014 at 1:15am<b>gotaplanstan</b> - the 07/14/2014 at 12:51am

TheElBurrrito's FML badges

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

See all of TheElBurrrito's badges

TheElBurrrito's favorite FMLs

Today, as my boyfriend was about to go down on me, he held his breath and said, "I'm going in!" FML

#14093222
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25999) - you deserved it (8597)

On 12/05/2010 at 6:12am - intimacy - by miiiiilk (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend of two years called me on Skype while he was taking a crap. Think it's a sign that maybe we've been dating for too long. FML

#14091257
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23096) - you deserved it (5043)

On 12/05/2010 at 1:35am - love - by fail (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I found out my wife is pregnant. The problem is she convinced me to get a vasectomy two years ago. FML

#14087670
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42002) - you deserved it (3496)

On 12/04/2010 at 8:28pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, my boyfriend confessed his desire to have sex while I'm on my period. He calls it "bloody victory." FML

#14087170
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35427) - you deserved it (5270)

On 12/04/2010 at 7:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I found out why my husband had wanted to wait until marriage to get it on. Last night was the first night of our honeymoon, and he informed me that he wasn't always Ben, but used to be Brenda. His 'penis' doesn't work and he had wanted to know I "truly loved him" before he had let me know. FML

#5148313
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (174343) - you deserved it (17979)

On 09/09/2009 at 1:21pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, it's my birthday. I have gotten three calls all day. The first one was my fiancé, saying he wanted his ring back. The second one was my best friend, confessing to me that she had been sleeping with my fiancé for the past three months. The third was the dentist's office singing me a happy birthday. FML

#1930337
399 comments

I agree, your life sucks (350807) - you deserved it (17802)

On 05/14/2009 at 1:43pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I had my first job interview and didn't have much of an appetite because of the nerves. So I grabbed a brownie that my roommate had left in the fridge and ate it on the train ride in to the city. About 20 minutes into my interview I was so stoned I couldn't speak. FML

#1550190
358 comments

I agree, your life sucks (176232) - you deserved it (45558)

On 05/02/2009 at 2:28am - work - by Dunzo15 (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my girlfriend and I were watching TV. She starts to undo my belt buckle, unzips my fly and then takes my pants off. Right as I'm starting to get really excited, she says to me, "Just joking." FML

#946704
289 comments

I agree, your life sucks (146781) - you deserved it (21562)

On 04/13/2009 at 9:44am - intimacy - by Hikara (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, brand new cocktail dress: $300. Matching peep toe heels: $100. Getting my hair done at the salon: $80. Treating myself to a mani/pedi: $50. When finally meeting the guy I have been chatting online with for 2 months, I find out he's my cousin: priceless. FML

Today, this girl and I were chilling in my apartment and things got heated up and we started making out. One thing lead to another and the next thing I knew she was giving me head. I was getting ready to bust when she stopped, looked up into my eyes and said "Do you believe in Jesus?" FML

#618909
375 comments

I agree, your life sucks (197318) - you deserved it (31433)

On 03/26/2009 at 7:41am - intimacy - by JAY22 (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my parents were out so I invited my girlfriend over. It was the afternoon, and things started to heat up. We were having sex, and I was about to finish. Then I looked through the window, to see a construction worker (who was fixing the house next to mine) giving me a thumbs up. He's her dad. FML

#527563
369 comments

I agree, your life sucks (171503) - you deserved it (30232)

On 03/22/2009 at 9:04am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Malta

Today, I awoke to the sound of my dad knocking on my dorm room door for a surprise visit. He's barely outside the door and I pull the door open and say hey, when my roommate strips naked pulls the door open, kisses me on the cheek, says in an uber-gay voice, "Thanks for last night", and leaves. FML

#527227
518 comments

I agree, your life sucks (239869) - you deserved it (31630)

On 03/22/2009 at 6:38am - intimacy - by konens_dick (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I had to sleep in the same room as my grandparents. They checked to see if I was asleep, so I pretended to be to avoid getting scolded for staying up. Turns out they were checking so that they could make love. I witnessed two 70-year-olds have sex in the bed next to me for 20 minutes. FML

#507959
292 comments

I agree, your life sucks (211236) - you deserved it (27302)

On 03/21/2009 at 11:38am - intimacy - by Mike (man) - United States (Michigan)



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