About TheElBurrrito : The picture says it all. Boobs (a.k.a. succulent dairy holders for babies and grown men) and video games. Xbox to be more exact. I don't see any other reason for living........ Calm down, I'm actually not a shallow person. My sense of humor is a little bit on the inappropriate side, so don't take offense to any jokes I make. I'm not good at this whole "about me" thing, and I honestly think this is maybe the third time I've ever done this. Dallas Mavericks, video games and Batman is all you need to get my attention. If this peeks your interest or just want to talk, feel free to message away. I'm not really sure how to end these things, so I'll just say......
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TheElBurrrito's favorite FMLs
by skyhigh / 01/13/2011 at 12:48am / United States (Texas) / Money
by Anonymous / 01/12/2011 at 9:26pm / United States (Washington) / Intimacy
by S / 01/09/2011 at 5:18am / Singapore / Intimacy
Today, I found out that my wife was having sex with my friend. It turned out that my genius cat realized it wasn't me there and attacked his balls, severely cutting them. I now have to kill my cat and pay for his medical bills to sew his balls back. FML
by Anonymous / 01/08/2011 at 8:11pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
by Username / 01/08/2011 at 2:01am / United States / Geek
by sad / 01/08/2011 at 12:22am / United States (Oregon) / Love
Today, while on a six hour flight, someone offered to pay me $20 to swap seats with them. It seemed like a great deal, so I immediately accepted and moved to my new seat. I didn't realize my new neighbor was an old man with a raging boner. FML
by anonymous / 01/07/2011 at 3:21pm / United States / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 12/29/2010 at 6:25am / United States (California) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 12/29/2010 at 12:20am / United States (California) / Kids
Today, my boyfriend and I heard my parents going at it upstairs. He said, "sounds like they're having more fun than we did." To make it worse, he crept to their door and put his ear to it, telling me what he heard. FML
by whoawhoawhoa / 12/28/2010 at 5:04pm / Canada (Manitoba) / Intimacy
by caligirl921 / 12/11/2010 at 1:00am / United States / Intimacy
by newmother / 12/05/2010 at 8:38am / Australia (Queensland) / Health
by miiiiilk / 12/05/2010 at 6:12am / United States (California) / Intimacy
by fail / 12/05/2010 at 1:35am / United States (North Carolina) / Love
by Anonymous / 12/04/2010 at 8:28pm / United States (Nevada) / Love
- 1Today, my neighbor's 4-year-old daughter came up to me and asked if she could have my dog. When I… 2Today, after working for Uber for a few weeks I realized that my driver rating was dropping. After… 3Today, I moved three hours away from my boyfriend for college. Even though he got accepted to the…
- Today, I was sitting in the cafeteria when one of my friends yelled out "Jake is uncircumcised!" as… Today, I was masturbating to a girl with huge tits on the internet. I then scrolled down and found… Today, I dyed my naturally-blonde hair dark brown. Upon seeing me, my boyfriend immediately wanted…