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TheElBurrrito

Offline (the 02/16/2014 at 2:02am) | Search for a member

TheElBurrrito

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 3 August 1988 (25 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2571
  • Number of comments : 88
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About TheElBurrrito : The picture says it all. Boobs (a.k.a. succulent dairy holders for babies and grown men) and video games. Xbox to be more exact. I don't see any other reason for living........ Calm down, I'm actually not a shallow person. My sense of humor is a little bit on the inappropriate side, so don't take offense to any jokes I make. I'm not good at this whole "about me" thing, and I honestly think this is maybe the third time I've ever done this. Dallas Mavericks, video games and Batman is all you need to get my attention. If this peeks your interest or just want to talk, feel free to message away. I'm not really sure how to end these things, so I'll just say......

TheElBurrrito's page activity

Visits<b>LeashaJoy5595</b> - yesterday at 2:57am<b>dixie217</b> - yesterday at 12:11am<b>thatoneguy_95</b> - yesterday at 11:18pm<b>lurch87</b> - yesterday at 5:48pm<b>jack_jill05</b> - the 07/20/2014 at 11:09pm<b>sweetnsourrr</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 8:22am<b>DenBriZel</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 6:07am<b>TrackGirl19</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 2:14am<b>Sassie8810</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 12:18am<b>_smammy_</b> - the 07/14/2014 at 11:38pm<b>jayjaybusby</b> - the 07/14/2014 at 10:38pm<b>reneetlovesyou</b> - the 07/14/2014 at 8:16pm<b>Badman6969</b> - the 07/14/2014 at 3:51pm<b>magikarpsmurfs</b> - the 07/14/2014 at 1:37pm<b>Arwen_Evenstar</b> - the 07/14/2014 at 10:07am<b>princesshaleigh</b> - the 07/14/2014 at 3:42am<b>LisaDay</b> - the 07/14/2014 at 1:15am<b>gotaplanstan</b> - the 07/14/2014 at 12:51am

TheElBurrrito's FML badges

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

See all of TheElBurrrito's badges

TheElBurrrito's favorite FMLs

Today, as my girlfriend and I were making love, she started to moan and groan. All of a sudden, she stopped and said "I'm lying, you suck at this." FML

#16339516
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51704) - you deserved it (17563)

On 05/25/2011 at 4:23am - intimacy - by katie -

Today, I had to explain to my sobbing teenage daughter why you can't get pregnant from masturbating. FML

#16331288
265 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52192) - you deserved it (8560)

On 05/24/2011 at 6:29pm - intimacy - by asnolt (man) - United States (California)

Today, I gave my girlfriend an orgasm for the first time only to realise she squeals like a baby pig in the process. FML

#16313675
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35678) - you deserved it (8570)

On 05/23/2011 at 2:46pm - intimacy - by Jon - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, my toilet decided it wouldn't take any more shit from me, and flooded the bathroom. FML

#16299538
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36257) - you deserved it (5984)

On 05/22/2011 at 4:31pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my Dad married his fiancée, who insists I call her "mom". I'm three years older than her, and went to the same high school. She's taking me shopping next week to buy me something "nice". FML

#16293589
297 comments

I agree, your life sucks (72268) - you deserved it (3720)

On 05/22/2011 at 5:31am - misc - by quickfingers100 - United Kingdom

Today, I was driving back home with my mom when we saw two squirrels having sex in the road. I told her to just honk the horn. She said that I was being selfish, that sex is a beautiful thing, and that we should let them finish. We sat there for at least five minutes. FML

#16287224
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41753) - you deserved it (5605)

On 05/21/2011 at 9:00pm - intimacy - by squirrels69ing (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I woke up to a mosquito feeding on my morning wood; probably the only thing that will ever suck my penis. FML

#16277810
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59080) - you deserved it (10069)

On 05/21/2011 at 5:07am - intimacy - by no one - United States (Alaska)

Today, I asked my husband, of only a year, why we don't have sex anymore. He said it's because he masturbates. When I asked how often he did it, he replied "Every day that we don't have sex..." FML

#16277359
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32278) - you deserved it (8908)

On 05/21/2011 at 3:18am - intimacy - by btswc - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I got motion sickness while having sex. FML

#16265516
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38531) - you deserved it (6226)

On 05/20/2011 at 10:39am - intimacy - by mikeycoco -

Today, it was my first day as an animal control officer. My first dispatch was to collect a dog that had been hit by a car. I had to clean up my dead dog on my first day of a job that barely pays rent. FML

#16245376
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52440) - you deserved it (3718)

On 05/18/2011 at 10:48pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was at Walmart with my mom, when a guy next to me let out a series of vicious farts. Assuming it was me, my mom chewed me out in front of the guy and made me apologize. The man looked at my mom and said, "Children, they're so immature." FML

#16237035
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41053) - you deserved it (3407)

On 05/18/2011 at 12:08pm - misc - by nicknick2 (woman) - United States (Delaware)

Today, after fifth block, I decided to go for a little walk. Apparently so did my boyfriend and best friend. I found them together under the stairs with her head in his crotch. She said she was looking for her contacts. His pants were pulled down. FML

#16237005
250 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53936) - you deserved it (4196)

On 05/18/2011 at 12:03pm - intimacy - by levi69 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, after fifth block, I decided to go for a little walk. Apparently so did my boyfriend and best friend. I found them together under the stairs with her head in his crotch. She said she was looking for her contacts. His pants were pulled down. FML

#16237005
250 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53936) - you deserved it (4196)

On 05/18/2011 at 12:03pm - intimacy - by levi69 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, we got a new dry-erase board, and I drew the Gotham City skyline complete with the Bat Signal. Later, I went downstairs, only to find my mom had written "BATMAN'S GAY" over the top of the picture. FML

#16235251
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27316) - you deserved it (9674)

On 05/18/2011 at 7:47am - misc - by Anon (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I won the lottery. My ex-girlfriend has the ticket. I just broke up with her. FML

#16221973
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48564) - you deserved it (25494)

On 05/17/2011 at 1:34pm - money - by anonymous - United States (Mississippi)



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