Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

TheElBurrrito

Offline (the 09/07/2014 at 12:55am) | Search for a member

TheElBurrrito

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 3 August 1988 (26 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2987
  • Number of comments : 89
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About TheElBurrrito : The picture says it all. Boobs (a.k.a. succulent dairy holders for babies and grown men) and video games. Xbox to be more exact. I don't see any other reason for living........ Calm down, I'm actually not a shallow person. My sense of humor is a little bit on the inappropriate side, so don't take offense to any jokes I make. I'm not good at this whole "about me" thing, and I honestly think this is maybe the third time I've ever done this. Dallas Mavericks, video games and Batman is all you need to get my attention. If this peeks your interest or just want to talk, feel free to message away. I'm not really sure how to end these things, so I'll just say......

TheElBurrrito's page activity

Visits<b>MARGIE9</b> - the 09/14/2014 at 9:53am<b>expertsmilee</b> - the 09/05/2014 at 3:11am<b>ryanntasia</b> - the 09/03/2014 at 9:21am<b>sometimessam</b> - the 08/19/2014 at 5:41pm<b>jack_jill05</b> - the 08/18/2014 at 8:18pm<b>JuliaaNoelle</b> - the 08/11/2014 at 2:20pm<b>iMeowchu</b> - the 08/10/2014 at 10:22am<b>lifein2014</b> - the 08/09/2014 at 3:07pm<b>shade19</b> - the 08/07/2014 at 5:25pm<b>Journiexo</b> - the 08/05/2014 at 3:01pm<b>killer0689</b> - the 07/31/2014 at 5:50am<b>TrackGirl19</b> - the 07/29/2014 at 1:43pm<b>LeashaJoy5595</b> - the 07/28/2014 at 2:57am<b>dixie217</b> - the 07/28/2014 at 12:11am<b>thatoneguy_95</b> - the 07/27/2014 at 11:18pm<b>lurch87</b> - the 07/27/2014 at 5:48pm<b>sweetnsourrr</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 8:22am<b>DenBriZel</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 6:07am

TheElBurrrito's FML badges

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

See all of TheElBurrrito's badges

TheElBurrrito's favorite FMLs

Today, my 15 year old girlfriend called to tell me she is pregnant. Her dad is ex-military, and makes a point of cleaning his guns every time I go to her house. FML

#17010843
708 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18328) - you deserved it (93841)

On 07/07/2011 at 3:43am - kids - by shit - United States

Today, my wife actually had the balls to tell me that we can't have sex for the rest of her nine month pregnancy, because according to her, "I don't want twins." FML

#17004643
391 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39722) - you deserved it (10800)

On 07/06/2011 at 7:35pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went out drinking with my friends. Being safe as we were a little intoxicated, we took a taxi back. The cab driver was also drunk. FML

#17000243
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40996) - you deserved it (4144)

On 07/06/2011 at 1:06pm - misc - by THOMASisMYname - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my mother told me she wanted me to get an exorcism. Yes, she was serious. I'm Jewish. FML

#16999311
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27273) - you deserved it (3279)

On 07/06/2011 at 11:21am - misc - by anonymous - United States

Today, my girlfriend who was planning on waiting until marriage for sex decided to have sex with me. It's been 4 hours and she hasn't stopped crying, praying and calling me the devil's temptation. FML

#16998038
390 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52473) - you deserved it (16516)

On 07/06/2011 at 7:26am - intimacy - by devilboy - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my ex-boyfriend posted on my boyfriend's facebook wall. Apparently I give awful blowjobs. FML

#16996053
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37520) - you deserved it (10524)

On 07/06/2011 at 2:15am - intimacy - by Anna - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was complimented on how big my penis was. I was complimented by the guy peeing next to me in the men's restroom at McDonald's. FML

#16794914
257 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46346) - you deserved it (7187)

On 06/22/2011 at 4:13am - intimacy - by fmlguy382 - United States

Today, I went camping with my girlfriend and best friend. They are now having blood-curdling sex in our tent. My friend is also my ride home. FML

#16746059
504 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53898) - you deserved it (6729)

On 06/19/2011 at 2:08pm - intimacy - by Username - United States (Texas)

Today, at my job as a lifeguard, the kids in the pool decided to start a new game. The game involved spreading out to different parts of the pool and pretending to be drowning at the same time. Whoever was "saved" first, won. FML

#16494046
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44029) - you deserved it (3263)

On 06/04/2011 at 2:15am - work - by zain - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend refused to take me out on our three year anniversary because he was busy, "training to become a professional gamer." FML

#16441244
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32209) - you deserved it (7957)

On 05/31/2011 at 8:50pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Brazil

Today, I'm too sunburned to masturbate. Now I have nothing to do. FML

#16432194
267 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20506) - you deserved it (63960)

On 05/31/2011 at 7:21am - intimacy - by Anonymous -

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me while I was driving her to a surprise party where I was going to propose. FML

#16426904
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66224) - you deserved it (3826)

On 05/30/2011 at 10:58pm - love - by efff my life. - Canada (Ontario)

Today, as my girlfriend and I were making love, she started to moan and groan. All of a sudden, she stopped and said "I'm lying, you suck at this." FML

#16339516
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51785) - you deserved it (17579)

On 05/25/2011 at 4:23am - intimacy - by katie -

Today, I had to explain to my sobbing teenage daughter why you can't get pregnant from masturbating. FML

#16331288
265 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52623) - you deserved it (8610)

On 05/24/2011 at 6:29pm - intimacy - by asnolt (man) - United States (California)

Today, I gave my girlfriend an orgasm for the first time only to realise she squeals like a baby pig in the process. FML

#16313675
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35735) - you deserved it (8579)

On 05/23/2011 at 2:46pm - intimacy - by Jon - United Kingdom (Essex)



FML's blog

  • Matteor's illustrated FML #2
  • So, is everyone back from their vacation? Can we get back to regular programming? No? OK, I get it. You're all still crying about not being at the beach any more, well, I am anyway. And this time of year…

Thursday 11 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: