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TheElBurrrito

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TheElBurrrito
  • Town/Country : Dallas, TX, United States
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 3 August 1988 (25 years)
  • Number of visits : 1725
  • Number of comments : 84
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About TheElBurrrito : The picture says it all. Boobs (a.k.a. succulent dairy holders for babies and grown men) and video games. Xbox to be more exact. I don't see any other reason for living........ Calm down, I'm actually not a shallow person. My sense of humor is a little bit on the inappropriate side, so don't take offense to any jokes I make. I'm not good at this whole "about me" thing, and I honestly think this is maybe the third time I've ever done this. Dallas Mavericks, video games and Batman is all you need to get my attention. If this peeks your interest or just want to talk, feel free to message away. I'm not really sure how to end these things, so I'll just say......

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TheElBurrrito's FML badges

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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TheElBurrrito's favorite FMLs

Today, I had some hot phone sex with my long-distance girlfriend. Half-way through, my mom stormed in, and told me I was disgusting and sick for doing it in the same room as my brother. I forgot about the baby monitor. FML

#16019768
239 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13261) - you deserved it (58281)

On 05/02/2011 at 2:46pm - intimacy - by hornyloser (man) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend kindly let me know that she didn't care that I am 'below average' in the penis department because it will leave her nice and tight for her next boyfriend. FML

#15948281
340 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63715) - you deserved it (7212)

On 04/27/2011 at 12:21pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom

Today, my girlfriend and her mom dropped me off at home. I told my girlfriend that I love her. She said nothing, then her mom blurted out, "I love you too!" and drove away. FML

#15945693
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26473) - you deserved it (3904)

On 04/27/2011 at 4:19am - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I lied to my diary about my weight. FML

#15932623
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18852) - you deserved it (43301)

On 04/26/2011 at 9:56am - health - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I was mugged. The guy mugging me was eating a banana. FML

#15917217
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30934) - you deserved it (6608)

On 04/25/2011 at 8:11am - misc - by wtfisthisworldcomingto -

Today, while shopping at American Eagle, I found the same "$1,500" wedding ring my fiancé proposed to me with, marked on sale for $10.95. FML

#15904630
376 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47207) - you deserved it (8576)

On 04/24/2011 at 1:56am - love - by kyla - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend told me he wanted to hunt Easter eggs before we have sex. I'm glad he has his priorities straight. FML

#15896515
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24738) - you deserved it (7650)

On 04/23/2011 at 10:19am - intimacy - by Grrrr! - United States (Missouri)

Today, my mother and girlfriend were joking around and talking about the embarrassing things I've done. After they'd had a lengthly conversation, my girlfriend mentions "And he always farts during sex." FML

#15895306
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35303) - you deserved it (9506)

On 04/23/2011 at 4:37am - intimacy - by Sadman (man) - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, my cat took a shit in my toaster. FML

#15852262
287 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43529) - you deserved it (6376)

On 04/19/2011 at 10:21pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was finally having sex with the man of my dreams, and then he fell asleep on top of me. FML

#15828645
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37434) - you deserved it (7344)

On 04/17/2011 at 11:12pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, my husband and I were diagnosed with herpes. We've been together for five years and were both virgins before. Even the doctor couldn't give any other explanation. FML

#15820031
729 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44718) - you deserved it (6600)

On 04/17/2011 at 10:29am - health - by bumpyroad - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, after receiving the third call this week from teachers about my son falling asleep in class, I decided that it would be a good idea to hide his Xbox controllers. He decided it would be a good idea to hide my diabetes medication. FML

#15805325
384 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41428) - you deserved it (16679)

On 04/16/2011 at 8:35am - health - by bbedlock (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my husband of 30 years told me that he thought we should 'just be friends'. FML

#15793085
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57867) - you deserved it (4165)

On 04/15/2011 at 7:38am - love - by ZaraAce (woman) - United Kingdom (Bedfordshire)

Today, I accidentally pocket dialed my sister while I was masturbating. FML

#15791690
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17538) - you deserved it (40996)

On 04/15/2011 at 1:34am - intimacy - by fmyhabit - United States (Utah)

Today, I found that the love of my life is 3.5 inches, fully erect. My cell phone is bigger than that. FML

#15749213
782 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61254) - you deserved it (12509)

On 04/12/2011 at 12:00am - intimacy - by Artic (woman) - United States (New York)



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