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Today, I was helping my father-in-law out at a family barbecue. Somehow, the topic turned to grand-children, at which point I confessed that my wife has been having trouble conceiving. His response was to boom: "Sure you've been putting it in the right hole, son?!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (28331) - you deserved it (3135)
On 03/12/2013 at 6:43pm - kids - by um... maybe (man) - United Kingdom
Today, a technician from my ISP came to my house to replace my router. He asked for a glass of water, one thing led to another, and for some reason I'll never fully understand, we ended up having sex. Looks like porn logic is not so far off the mark after all. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14221) - you deserved it (49604)
On 03/09/2013 at 1:50pm - intimacy - by je_regrette_tout (woman) - Sent from mobile version
Today, I had to spend a few hours in a hospital with a toddler and a preschooler projecting vomit all over, because my husband thinks "expiration dates are for pussies." FML
I agree, your life sucks (29206) - you deserved it (2872)
On 02/18/2013 at 2:44am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Quebec)
Today, my girlfriend and I have been in a relationship for 3 years. She's pregnant. I'm a virgin. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45142) - you deserved it (8293)
On 07/08/2011 at 1:19am - love - by Nick (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I was propositioned by an incredibly pretty girl. I'm a 24 year old virgin; she's my best mate's girlfriend. She tells him everything when drunk, and he's a black-belt in karate. This could officially be classified as torture. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27448) - you deserved it (4004)
On 07/07/2011 at 10:40am - love - by Junktown (man) - Israel (Tel Aviv)
Today, my 15 year old girlfriend called to tell me she is pregnant. Her dad is ex-military, and makes a point of cleaning his guns every time I go to her house. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14775) - you deserved it (69223)
On 07/07/2011 at 3:43am - kids - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my wife actually had the balls to tell me that we can't have sex for the rest of her nine month pregnancy, because according to her, "I don't want twins." FML
I agree, your life sucks (34024) - you deserved it (9477)
On 07/06/2011 at 7:35pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I went out drinking with my friends. Being safe as we were a little intoxicated, we took a taxi back. The cab driver was also drunk. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35345) - you deserved it (3197)
On 07/06/2011 at 1:06pm - misc - by THOMASisMYname - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my mother told me she wanted me to get an exorcism. Yes, she was serious. I'm Jewish. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22183) - you deserved it (2468)
On 07/06/2011 at 11:21am - misc - by anonymous - United States
Today, my girlfriend who was planning on waiting until marriage for sex decided to have sex with me. It's been 4 hours and she hasn't stopped crying, praying and calling me the devil's temptation. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46132) - you deserved it (14701)
On 07/06/2011 at 7:26am - intimacy - by devilboy - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, my ex-boyfriend posted on my boyfriend's facebook wall. Apparently I give awful blowjobs. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31141) - you deserved it (8174)
On 07/06/2011 at 2:15am - intimacy - by Anna - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I was complimented on how big my penis was. I was complimented by the guy peeing next to me in the men's restroom at McDonald's. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40463) - you deserved it (6545)
On 06/22/2011 at 4:13am - intimacy - by fmlguy382 - United States
Today, I went camping with my girlfriend and best friend. They are now having blood-curdling sex in our tent. My friend is also my ride home. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46939) - you deserved it (5176)
On 06/19/2011 at 2:08pm - intimacy - by Username - United States (Texas)
Today, at my job as a lifeguard, the kids in the pool decided to start a new game. The game involved spreading out to different parts of the pool and pretending to be drowning at the same time. Whoever was "saved" first, won. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37838) - you deserved it (2536)
On 06/04/2011 at 2:15am - work - by zain - United States (Texas)
Today, my boyfriend refused to take me out on our three year anniversary because he was busy, "training to become a professional gamer." FML
I agree, your life sucks (26700) - you deserved it (6320)
On 05/31/2011 at 8:50pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Brazil
Monday 20 May 2013
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