Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

TheDragonsGuard

Offline (the 08/14/2014 at 12:32am) | Search for a member

TheDragonsGuard

1Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 15 September 1993 (21 years)
  • <3 status : Not so sure
  • Number of visits : 5882
  • Number of comments : 3
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About TheDragonsGuard : Message me if you want to know anything.

TheDragonsGuard's page activity

Visits<b>seeoseek</b> - the 10/09/2014 at 7:01pm<b>Trace01m</b> - the 09/16/2014 at 11:52pm<b>lior778</b> - the 08/29/2014 at 8:16am<b>cwrocker</b> - the 08/28/2014 at 5:23pm<b>coolsoccer1234</b> - the 08/13/2014 at 1:29pm<b>Derk76</b> - the 07/26/2014 at 2:56am<b>greaterdane</b> - the 07/25/2014 at 11:51am<b>womanmoon</b> - the 07/23/2014 at 11:58am<b>sethe99</b> - the 07/22/2014 at 1:34am<b>Zepherros</b> - the 07/21/2014 at 9:28pm<b>lb562</b> - the 07/21/2014 at 7:54pm<b>tiptoe55</b> - the 07/21/2014 at 5:02pm<b>TrackGirl19</b> - the 07/21/2014 at 2:30pm<b>AustinDenton</b> - the 07/20/2014 at 10:24pm<b>obviouslywaffles</b> - the 07/20/2014 at 2:56am<b>nela25</b> - the 07/18/2014 at 11:30am<b>Zero_TAlent_</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 4:12pm<b>kelsorg</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 3:14pm

Liked!<b>lior778</b> - the 08/29/2014 at 2:16pm

TheDragonsGuard's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of TheDragonsGuard's badges

TheDragonsGuard's favorite FMLs

Today, I got cited for "internet plagiarism" and called to the dean's office. I'd been sitting a closed-book written exam, and my teacher had been breathing down my neck the whole time. FML

#21169503
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39956) - you deserved it (3809)

On 06/10/2014 at 11:05am - misc - by Anonymous - Malaysia (Kuala Lumpur)

Today, I sent my girlfriend a request to confirm our relationship on Facebook. She accepted, then changed her screen name into "His Hand". FML

#21169063
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51259) - you deserved it (11163)

On 06/10/2014 at 12:02am - love - by MiserableMan (man) - Vietnam (Ho Chi Minh)

Today, I let my dog outside to play. He shat on three cars, played dead in the middle of the street, and chased my neighbors' cat into a pool. When he came back into the house, he had a note taped to his back saying "IOU 1 lawsuit". FML

Today, I was walking in the street, and the next thing I know, I'm waking up in a hospital. According to witnesses, a guy came up and hit me over the head with a baseball bat. Apparently that's a thing that happens now. But it's okay, he had an excuse: he said he was drunk. FML

#21168803
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46970) - you deserved it (3471)

On 06/09/2014 at 9:56pm - health - by Harry (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was spinning some yarn around to make my new cat run in circles. After about 10 seconds, he stopped going in circles and went straight ahead, happily running several feet into the wall and knocking himself out. My bowel movements have more brain-power than this thing. FML

#21168476
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34927) - you deserved it (8496)

On 06/09/2014 at 5:45pm - animals - by jaqen h'garrrhghhgfgjhfuck (man) - France (Provence-Alpes-Cote d'Azur)

Today, I ran into my girlfriend by chance while out shopping. She looked different than usual. Maybe it was the wedding ring she was wearing, or how she had her arm around another gentleman, gee, I don't know. That's two years of my life wasted. FML

#21168433
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63080) - you deserved it (5136)

On 06/09/2014 at 5:03pm - love - by wrecked (man) - United States

Today, I put my headphones on and laid down to relax to some music. I fell asleep, and woke up later to a police officer busting into my house. My neighbor had been knocking on my door, then looked through my window and saw me on my couch, and was convinced I'd died. FML

#21168349
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49323) - you deserved it (4821)

On 06/09/2014 at 3:37pm - misc - by I'm Not Dead Yet - United States (Arizona)

Today, I broke my nose trying to pop a zit. FML

#21168348
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44615) - you deserved it (20208)

On 06/09/2014 at 3:36pm - health - by blanknameisblank (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I woke up to my boyfriend shrieking at the top of his lungs. I ran into the dining room where he was, to find him standing on the table screaming "Kill it!" while pointing at an unmoving spider the size of a Tic Tac on the wall. FML

#21167015
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43708) - you deserved it (6261)

On 06/08/2014 at 11:10am - love - by eightleggedtictac - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my boyfriend wanted to make breakfast. Since I usually do all the cooking, I said that was fine. Four hours later, my boyfriend and I were sitting on the sidewalk across the street as the firemen sprayed down the burnt remains of our kitchen. FML

#21166627
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51607) - you deserved it (6769)

On 06/07/2014 at 11:22pm - misc - by Un1ucky (woman) - United States

Today, I fell down the stairs and broke my leg. My dad helped me to the car so he could drive me to the hospital, but when he saw our neighbor, he went over and had a 15 minute screaming match with him over how his dog keeps shitting on our lawn, all while I sat in the car in agony. FML

#21165275
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48505) - you deserved it (3951)

On 06/06/2014 at 7:09pm - health - by wo-ow (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I went on a date with a guy I've had a crush on for ages. Midway through the meal, he sighed and said, "I'll be honest, this is a horrible date. You got zero personality and I'm too lazy to do a window escape, so..." He then got up and walked out. FML

#21165255
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55099) - you deserved it (9087)

On 06/06/2014 at 6:44pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, an older gentleman came into my work for underwear. I helped him find his size, pulled out a pair of navy ones and he then turned to me and said, "I don't want dark colours because I can't tell if I've shit myself." He then continued looking for all the white pairs. FML

#21163612
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41216) - you deserved it (4320)

On 06/05/2014 at 4:11am - work - by unashamed - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my boyfriend complained all day about being bored, so wanting to cheer him up, I put on some sexy clothes and went to his house. I got on his bed in my underwear and called him over. He quickly decided he'd rather play Diablo for the next five hours instead. FML

#21162704
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51913) - you deserved it (7529)

On 06/04/2014 at 11:52am - intimacy - by Justawoman (woman) - Denmark (Midtjylland)



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Zach's illustrated FML
  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: