Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

TheDragonsGuard

Offline (the 01/29/2016 at 5:08pm) | Search for a member

TheDragonsGuard

82Fucked!

TheDragonsGuardTheDragonsGuard
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 15 September 1993 (22 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 13567
  • Number of comments : 12
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About TheDragonsGuard : Message me if you want to talk!

ThePaperDragon is cool people, we're buddies irl.

TheDragonsGuard's page activity

Visits<b>MitchellH21</b> - 13 hours ago<b>alex602</b> - yesterday at 11:58pm<b>Dune1988</b> - the 02/06/2016 at 2:38pm<b>bigbrown24</b> - the 02/05/2016 at 3:32am<b>hotheadslav</b> - the 02/04/2016 at 6:18pm<b>pedrorocks</b> - the 02/04/2016 at 4:14pm<b>MxAxRxCxO</b> - the 02/04/2016 at 12:02am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 02/03/2016 at 5:13am<b>Trace01m</b> - the 02/03/2016 at 2:52am<b>Y0UI34574RD</b> - the 01/30/2016 at 1:43pm<b>saxyguy</b> - the 01/30/2016 at 12:18pm<b>lexred</b> - the 01/30/2016 at 3:30am<b>minimanion</b> - the 01/29/2016 at 9:30pm<b>0mysteriousman0</b> - the 01/29/2016 at 8:12pm<b>ethenkray</b> - the 01/26/2016 at 11:39pm<b>Mons</b> - the 01/26/2016 at 10:27pm<b>TheLastCenturion</b> - the 01/26/2016 at 9:34pm<b>Sayeret_Matkal</b> - the 01/26/2016 at 8:36pm

Fucked!<b>Dune1988</b> - the 02/06/2016 at 8:39pm<b>hotheadslav</b> - the 02/05/2016 at 12:19am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 02/03/2016 at 11:12am<b>lexred</b> - the 01/30/2016 at 9:30am<b>tranced_</b> - the 01/23/2016 at 8:16am<b>moocowmilk0</b> - the 01/22/2016 at 7:39pm<b>isaak_sanchez</b> - the 01/22/2016 at 5:04pm<b>tin_cup</b> - the 01/14/2016 at 9:05am<b>pred8885</b> - the 01/11/2016 at 12:05pm<b>mhoch22</b> - the 01/07/2016 at 7:15am<b>callsign_banana</b> - the 01/05/2016 at 9:03am<b>10nachoman10</b> - the 01/03/2016 at 12:45pm<b>NAH2000</b> - the 01/02/2016 at 7:24pm<b>Geary519</b> - the 12/29/2015 at 12:13am<b>pokysmalls</b> - the 12/22/2015 at 1:10am<b>TyroneLeBron</b> - the 12/21/2015 at 7:24pm<b>ndnpride88</b> - the 12/21/2015 at 5:03pm<b>miss_fluffybutt</b> - the 12/21/2015 at 4:42pm

TheDragonsGuard's FML badges

One more and it's business time

You've received 68 likes on your profile. Kinky.

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of TheDragonsGuard's badges

TheDragonsGuard's favorite FMLs

Today, my 17-year-old son came home with a black eye saying he ran into a pole at school. I asked the principal if we could see the tapes. He actually did run straight into a pole. And not just once, twice. FML

Today, I was verbally abused by a customer at my job. Apparently, wearing "ugly, thick-framed hipster glasses as a fashion statement is a HUGE faux pas." These are my actual prescription glasses, and "faux pas" is not pronounced "fox paws". FML

#20840053
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45890) - you deserved it (3573)

On 08/16/2013 at 7:08am - misc - by hipster glasses - United States

Today, my dad, under threats of disowning me, insisted that I offer my sister a job in my company. I run my own law firm, she is a hairdresser. FML

#20838513
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52908) - you deserved it (3423)

On 08/15/2013 at 9:34am - work - by lawman (man) - Denmark (Hovedstaden)

Today, I went to a store. I was wearing a shirt that I'd bought from the very same store, and was accused of stealing. When I tried explaining, the manager said I was lying because I'm a teenager and "all teenagers are full of shit." FML

Today, I received a lemon in a box in the mail. I didn't know from who it was, nor how he or she knows my address. There was a note on it: "When life gives you lemons, date me." FML

#20837021
189 comments

Today, I was having dinner with my boyfriend's family, and he was saying how well his driving lessons are going. During this conversation his mum told him to "stop blowing your own trumpet." He replied, "If I could do that, I wouldn't need Anna." His dad gave him a high-five. FML

#20836995
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68984) - you deserved it (8743)

On 08/14/2013 at 12:22pm - intimacy - by NoMoreTrumpetBlowing (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I was visiting my cousin's farm. Going out for a morning stroll, I took an apple with me to munch along the way. As I was eating it, I heard a distant thumping sound and was suddenly slammed into the ground. When I looked up, a horse was eating my apple. I got mugged by a horse. FML

#20836718
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58380) - you deserved it (6612)

On 08/14/2013 at 5:11am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was watching a movie with my family in which a character said "Fuck you, dad." My dad then slapped me over the head to get my attention and said, "Never talk to your father like that." Okay, dad. FML

#20833982
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48344) - you deserved it (4310)

On 08/12/2013 at 4:04pm - misc - by idonteven - United States (California)

Today, my house was broken into. After we called the police, my dad started calling himself Sherlock Holmes and talking in a British accent. He insists on calling me Watson. He is going around the neighborhood acting like Sherlock, investigating stuff. He won't stop. FML

Today, I asked my girlfriend if she had ever broken up with anyone. She said, "Yes. You." and walked off. FML

#20833166
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52512) - you deserved it (6367)

On 08/12/2013 at 12:49am - love - by WTF? (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I stopped at a red light, when I noticed the car in front of me was in reverse. I honked at the driver, hoping he'd realize and place the car in drive. He thought the light turned green and immediately backed into me. FML

#20828404
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48876) - you deserved it (6088)

On 08/09/2013 at 1:00am - misc - by please don't back that thing up - United States

Today, at the pool, a kid no older than 8 was sitting on the diving board, not letting anyone else use it. I went over and tried to reason with him, but he wouldn't listen. My uncle stormed over, said "I got this!" and punted him over the edge. We both got thrown out for "bullying" the kid. FML

#20827779
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49935) - you deserved it (6582)

On 08/08/2013 at 7:03pm - kids - by JuggaloSlasher15 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my husband and I were fooling around, and things got heated. In the heat of things, I told him to tear my panties off. He took it literally and yanked at them with all his might. It's been two hours and I still can't walk straight. FML

#20827713
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51727) - you deserved it (19013)

On 08/08/2013 at 6:15pm - intimacy - by fuck my arse (woman) - United Kingdom (Reading)

Today, I ran into my shitlord of an ex at the store. He took one look at me, yelled "You cheating bitch!" in a wounded voice, then walked away, fake-crying. I got so many dirty looks. The worst part is that I dumped him last month for cheating on me with my "best friend." FML

#20827624
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53770) - you deserved it (3629)

On 08/08/2013 at 5:18pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my girlfriend was suspended from work after she was caught fucking one of her co-workers. FML

#20827542
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65849) - you deserved it (4903)

On 08/08/2013 at 4:20pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Slough)



FML's blog

  • Eni's illustrated FML
  • Greetings worshipers of lines and colours! This week, with the help of a talented young illustrator we’re checking kids out. No, not like that. Damn, that sounded bad. We’re taking a different look a…

Friday 12 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: