Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

TheDragonsGuard

Offline (11 hours ago) | Search for a member

TheDragonsGuard

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 15 September 1993 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Not so sure
  • Number of visits : 4946
  • Number of comments : 3
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About TheDragonsGuard : Message me if you want to know anything.

TheDragonsGuard's page activity

Visits<b>Derk76</b> - the 07/26/2014 at 2:56am<b>greaterdane</b> - the 07/25/2014 at 11:51am<b>womanmoon</b> - the 07/23/2014 at 11:58am<b>sethe99</b> - the 07/22/2014 at 1:34am<b>Zepherros</b> - the 07/21/2014 at 9:28pm<b>lb562</b> - the 07/21/2014 at 7:54pm<b>tiptoe55</b> - the 07/21/2014 at 5:02pm<b>TrackGirl19</b> - the 07/21/2014 at 2:30pm<b>AustinDenton</b> - the 07/20/2014 at 10:24pm<b>obviouslywaffles</b> - the 07/20/2014 at 2:56am<b>nela25</b> - the 07/18/2014 at 11:30am<b>Zero_TAlent_</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 4:12pm<b>kelsorg</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 3:14pm<b>ryanding</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 2:36pm<b>willrich7</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 12:50pm<b>Edogg215</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 11:47am<b>Faithilicious123</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 10:59am<b>kaya1001</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 9:49am

TheDragonsGuard's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of TheDragonsGuard's badges

TheDragonsGuard's favorite FMLs

Today, while working at a client's house, I noticed that their sliding calendar was several months off. I fixed it. Later the daughter saw and started crying. Apparently the date was the last one her mother had set it to before she died. FML

#20857966
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30751) - you deserved it (52861)

On 08/28/2013 at 2:50pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Alabama)

Today, my sister announced that she and her boyfriend are getting married. Her boyfriend is my husband. We're not even legally divorced yet. FML

#20857902
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64669) - you deserved it (3885)

On 08/28/2013 at 1:47pm - love - by still together (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I walked into my new office for the first time after receiving the promotion I've been trying for. Someone took a dump on my desk. FML

#20857349
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44320) - you deserved it (3234)

On 08/28/2013 at 12:06am - work - by DefinitelyNotDogshit (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I could hear my daughter playing with her Barbie dolls in her room. "Do you think your boss will agree to give you a raise?", she said. "Of course, we slept together!" My daughter is six. FML

#20856377
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48429) - you deserved it (8052) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 08/27/2013 at 6:32am - kids - by Poly24 - Sent from mobile version

Today, I found out someone has a crush on me. Normally I'd be fine with this, if it weren't for that fact that this guy informed me that he has collected pictures of me since the third grade. I'm turning 23 in two weeks. FML

Today, a customer spent ages bitching me out, because he refused to believe he needed to upgrade his computer, which still runs Windows 98, in order to install a modern game for his grandson. He ended up calling my manager and trying to get me fired for scamming him. FML

#20853843
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40099) - you deserved it (2343)

On 08/25/2013 at 3:28pm - work - by what the fuck (man) - Malaysia (Selangor)

Today, I moved into my university dorm a week before classes start. Everyone kept giving me weird looks as they watched me move my stuff in. Finally, one of my dorm mates asked me if I knew that school had actually started last week. I didn't. FML

#20848839
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45365) - you deserved it (14656)

On 08/22/2013 at 1:31am - work - by Kingofbosses (man) - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I started fighting. Instead of arguing for herself, she decided to set her puppy on me. Only "Puppy" is the name of her fully-grown police-trained German Shepherd. FML

#20847973
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50287) - you deserved it (6787)

On 08/21/2013 at 2:58pm - animals - by mykhael (man) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, when I got back to my dorm, I found a trail of ants trying to shove a dead roach into a power outlet. The front desk insists that there is no pest problem. FML

#20846099
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41464) - you deserved it (2346)

On 08/20/2013 at 8:54am - animals - by TheRoad42 - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I found my dad drunk, sitting on the bathroom floor crying. When I asked him why, he said, "My son is gay." I'm his only child, and I'm a girl. FML

#20844156
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45418) - you deserved it (2581)

On 08/19/2013 at 1:41am - misc - by anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I found out that apparently I'm in Miami. I am also enjoying a five-star hotel and all of its services. Only one problem: I'm still here, stuck in a small suburban town. F*ck identity theft. FML

#20844068
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47864) - you deserved it (2737)

On 08/19/2013 at 12:30am - misc - by iwannagotomiamitoo - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, after an argument with my wife, I stormed out of our bedroom through the sliding doors to the balcony. Only there was no balcony, because it still hasn't been replaced yet. I'm now laid-up in hospital. FML

#20843350
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38173) - you deserved it (15031)

On 08/18/2013 at 4:13pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Germany (Rheinland-Pfalz)

Today, I woke up to my 5-year-old standing over me with a pillow. I asked him what he was doing, and he replied that he and Steve were playing a game, but Steve said I have to be asleep for it. Steve is my son's imaginary friend. I'm convinced Steve wants to kill me. FML

#20842823
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52025) - you deserved it (3112)

On 08/18/2013 at 5:37am - kids - by DrtySnchez - United States (Georgia)

Today, after a long and stressful day, I started fooling around with my boyfriend. When we finally got to the main event, I found out that we couldn't, because he'd used all his condoms to make water balloons. FML

#20842045
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50580) - you deserved it (6626)

On 08/17/2013 at 6:56pm - intimacy - by frustrated - Ireland (Kerry)

Today, I went downstairs a little after midnight to grab a snack, and in the dark hallway, I clearly saw a small child walk into the kitchen. I was freaked out, but I followed him in. There was nobody in the room. I'm now too scared to sleep, and am seriously considering moving house. FML

#20841635
265 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54708) - you deserved it (4571)

On 08/17/2013 at 12:27pm - misc - by fsfs (man) - Germany (Schleswig-Holstein)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #1: Getting there
  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: