Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick :
Categories :
Man or woman?

TheDragonsGuard

Search for a member

TheDragonsGuard
  • Town/Country : Chicago, USA
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 15 September 1993 (19 years)
  • Number of visits : 1476
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About TheDragonsGuard : Message me if you want to know anything.

TheDragonsGuard's last visitors

seeoseekboudin227SammyKins18Kidkaplanbnjmn10IHaveNoKoolAidneeni88mickaela_YNWAwhiiteTrace01mefelsh

TheDragonsGuard's FML badges

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

See all of TheDragonsGuard's badges

TheDragonsGuard's favorite FMLs

Today, I was writing out palm cards and didn't know if I'd spelled a word correctly, so I stared at it for about 10 seconds waiting for spell check to tell me if it was right or not before I realised I was writing on paper. FML

#20135256
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4396) - you deserved it (19585)

On 10/27/2012 at 8:43am - misc - by katier8295 (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, my boyfriend went to ask my dad for my hand in marriage. All I could make out from the door was mumbling, until profanities started flying. My boyfriend shouted "well she's a SINGLE bitch now!" and stormed out of the house. My dad still refuses to tell me what happened in there. FML

#20131535
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24407) - you deserved it (1323)

On 10/24/2012 at 5:08pm - love - by wtactualfuck :( (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend went to ask my dad for my hand in marriage. All I could make out from the door was mumbling, until profanities started flying. My boyfriend shouted "well she's a SINGLE bitch now!" and stormed out of the house. My dad still refuses to tell me what happened in there. FML

#20131535
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24407) - you deserved it (1323)

On 10/24/2012 at 5:08pm - love - by wtactualfuck :( (woman) - United States

Today, I went to the Natural History Museum with my boyfriend. While we were standing in front of real dinosaur bones, he told me he didn't believe in dinosaurs. FML

#20130407
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18578) - you deserved it (2161)

On 10/23/2012 at 9:19pm - love - by SFra - United States

Today, I had a job interview for a job I've been dying to have. As I'm walking into the office, the manager says, "Aren't you my son's ex, the one he cheated on?" All I could do was sit there quietly as he laughed at me. FML

#20129479
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20790) - you deserved it (1411)

On 10/23/2012 at 3:54am - work - by emilyparra1 - United States (Florida)

Today, a parent was too busy texting to notice her child had run in front of a moving truck. She did however see me grab the child's backpack to yank him back out of traffic. She then screamed at me for "manhandling" her child and demanded I be fired. It's not even my school; I'm a part time sub. FML

#20129237
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22814) - you deserved it (951)

On 10/22/2012 at 11:51pm - work - by bad samaritan (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I came home to find an almost completely devoured cheesecake, The Notebook playing on the TV, and a shoe thrown at my head. It's safe to say my girlfriend is just about on her period. FML

#20128340
261 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20933) - you deserved it (4129)

On 10/22/2012 at 3:08pm - misc - by jesushelpme (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my husband informed me that he recently slept with a secretary of his to become better at sex for me. I don't know what's worse, the fact that he cheated on me or that he seriously believes that he has a reasonable excuse. FML

#20124966
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20297) - you deserved it (1246)

On 10/20/2012 at 4:49am - love - by Enragedbitch - United States (California)

Today, while driving with my puppy in the passenger seat, he jumped out of the window. FML

#20124915
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15506) - you deserved it (19927)

On 10/20/2012 at 3:16am - animals - by puppylove - United States

Today, my dad saw on TV that in some parts of Africa, it's not uncommon for people to attach make-shift flamethrowers to their cars to defend against carjackers. He's now lost his mind and is forcing me to help him put one together to scare off Jehovah's Witnesses. FML

#20124199
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12446) - you deserved it (1298)

On 10/19/2012 at 5:39pm - misc - by Watchtower? More like fortress. (man) - Norway (Oslo)

Today, my husband and I decided to tell our sixteen-year-old daughter that she's adopted. Her response was, "Thank God!" FML

#20123551
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19151) - you deserved it (4387)

On 10/19/2012 at 3:59am - kids - by best_mom_ever (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I walked in on my mother using a razor to shave my dad's cream-covered testicles. FML

#20122551
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18803) - you deserved it (1990)

On 10/18/2012 at 2:19pm - misc - by not as scarred as he should be (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I discovered my son, who has recently moved out of our home, eating his dog's food. His excuse? He wanted the new Pokemon game, and "compromises had to be made". FML

#20122132
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14967) - you deserved it (1790)

On 10/18/2012 at 4:33am - kids - by anon - Australia

Today, I contemplated the ratio of cats I have to friends I have. I need more friends. FML

#20122007
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11635) - you deserved it (3434)

On 10/18/2012 at 1:33am - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I received another death threat for teaching evolution in college. I'm a geology teacher. FML

#20121974
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18696) - you deserved it (1530)

On 10/18/2012 at 12:58am - work - by satanworshipper - United States (Florida)



FML's blog

  • Sharina's Illustrated FML
  • Hi gang! Glad to see you all again, hope you’re doing fine and dandy. We are, amazing stuff has happened in amongst all the drudge and sludge. We’ve spent the week listening to the greatest album ever…

Friday 24 May 2013

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: