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Today, I found out that my girlfriend has secretly been conditioning me to get turned on by the smell of bananas. Guess whose new co-worker peels a nice, fragrant banana five times a day. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20810) - you deserved it (2124)
On 10/29/2012 at 8:42pm - intimacy - by SadExperiment (man) - United States (California)
Today, while in a pharmacy, I walked over to the shaving cream aisle. I picked up a can to smell it and unknowingly pushed the button, spraying an old guy in front of me. He freaked out and started telling everyone that the ceiling above him was leaking. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5962) - you deserved it (8008)
On 10/29/2012 at 6:39pm - misc - by IndianAngel96 - United States (Texas)
Today, my family and I are sitting in our house while Hurricane Sandy is going on. My grandma is freaking out because she believes it's our recently deceased dog Sandy getting revenge for putting her to sleep and getting a new dog. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19772) - you deserved it (1590)
On 10/29/2012 at 5:45pm - animals - by With_Love929 - United States (New York)
Today, I jokingly asked my girlfriend what she got me for my half birthday, to which she replied "A baby." She was serious. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8540) - you deserved it (16101)
On 10/29/2012 at 2:10pm - kids - by JiggaJayZ - United States
Today, I was at the mall and I noticed this guy staring at me from across the food court. He smiled and waved at me so I walked over there and tried to talk to him. He was looking at his girlfriend the whole time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12697) - you deserved it (3465)
On 10/29/2012 at 1:59pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, maintenance came to fix the constantly beeping alarm system near my apartment. They changed it from beeping on-and-off to one never-ending beep, similar to the sound of my sanity flat-lining. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14924) - you deserved it (812)
On 10/29/2012 at 12:31am - misc - by tcm123 - United States (Illinois)
Today, I woke up to a gift from my boyfriend: a Playboy magazine with a Post-It note that said, "Just a reminder that you're easily replaceable." I think he's still mad at me for beating him on X-box. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19023) - you deserved it (2087)
On 10/28/2012 at 11:39pm - love - by becca (woman) - United States
Today, I had my 7 month check up for my pregnancy. The nurse weighed me and said, "I see you've gotten into the Halloween candy." FML
I agree, your life sucks (13769) - you deserved it (2321)
On 10/28/2012 at 9:53pm - health - by monkeylover996 (woman) - United States
Today, over a family dinner, my husband and I told everyone that I'm pregnant. My father frowned and said, "Again?", my 9-year-old daughter started crying, and her brother smirked and yelled, "Up the ass, no babies!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (17161) - you deserved it (3553)
On 10/28/2012 at 12:44pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, I was writing out palm cards and didn't know if I'd spelled a word correctly, so I stared at it for about 10 seconds waiting for spell check to tell me if it was right or not before I realised I was writing on paper. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4396) - you deserved it (19579)
On 10/27/2012 at 8:43am - misc - by katier8295 (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)
Today, my boyfriend went to ask my dad for my hand in marriage. All I could make out from the door was mumbling, until profanities started flying. My boyfriend shouted "well she's a SINGLE bitch now!" and stormed out of the house. My dad still refuses to tell me what happened in there. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24407) - you deserved it (1323)
On 10/24/2012 at 5:08pm - love - by wtactualfuck :( (woman) - United States
Today, my boyfriend went to ask my dad for my hand in marriage. All I could make out from the door was mumbling, until profanities started flying. My boyfriend shouted "well she's a SINGLE bitch now!" and stormed out of the house. My dad still refuses to tell me what happened in there. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24407) - you deserved it (1323)
On 10/24/2012 at 5:08pm - love - by wtactualfuck :( (woman) - United States
Today, I went to the Natural History Museum with my boyfriend. While we were standing in front of real dinosaur bones, he told me he didn't believe in dinosaurs. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18573) - you deserved it (2161)
On 10/23/2012 at 9:19pm - love - by SFra - United States
Today, I had a job interview for a job I've been dying to have. As I'm walking into the office, the manager says, "Aren't you my son's ex, the one he cheated on?" All I could do was sit there quietly as he laughed at me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20786) - you deserved it (1411)
On 10/23/2012 at 3:54am - work - by emilyparra1 - United States (Florida)
Today, a parent was too busy texting to notice her child had run in front of a moving truck. She did however see me grab the child's backpack to yank him back out of traffic. She then screamed at me for "manhandling" her child and demanded I be fired. It's not even my school; I'm a part time sub. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22812) - you deserved it (951)
On 10/22/2012 at 11:51pm - work - by bad samaritan (woman) - United States (Texas)
Monday 20 May 2013
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