Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

TheDragonsGuard

Offline (the 08/14/2014 at 12:32am) | Search for a member

TheDragonsGuard

1Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 15 September 1993 (21 years)
  • <3 status : Not so sure
  • Number of visits : 5534
  • Number of comments : 3
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About TheDragonsGuard : Message me if you want to know anything.

TheDragonsGuard's page activity

Visits<b>Trace01m</b> - the 09/16/2014 at 11:52pm<b>lior778</b> - the 08/29/2014 at 8:16am<b>cwrocker</b> - the 08/28/2014 at 5:23pm<b>coolsoccer1234</b> - the 08/13/2014 at 1:29pm<b>Derk76</b> - the 07/26/2014 at 2:56am<b>greaterdane</b> - the 07/25/2014 at 11:51am<b>womanmoon</b> - the 07/23/2014 at 11:58am<b>sethe99</b> - the 07/22/2014 at 1:34am<b>Zepherros</b> - the 07/21/2014 at 9:28pm<b>lb562</b> - the 07/21/2014 at 7:54pm<b>tiptoe55</b> - the 07/21/2014 at 5:02pm<b>TrackGirl19</b> - the 07/21/2014 at 2:30pm<b>AustinDenton</b> - the 07/20/2014 at 10:24pm<b>obviouslywaffles</b> - the 07/20/2014 at 2:56am<b>nela25</b> - the 07/18/2014 at 11:30am<b>Zero_TAlent_</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 4:12pm<b>kelsorg</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 3:14pm<b>ryanding</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 2:36pm

Liked!<b>lior778</b> - the 08/29/2014 at 2:16pm

TheDragonsGuard's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of TheDragonsGuard's badges

TheDragonsGuard's favorite FMLs

Today, my grandma has been running around the neighborhood, dressed as Bobo the Evil Clown, chasing trick-or-treaters. All I've been able to do is chase after her, and apologize to the terrified children's families. FML

#20941017
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37171) - you deserved it (3283)

On 11/01/2013 at 2:04am - misc - by bobosgonnagetyou - United States (Oregon)

Today, some kid asked me if I was Mexican. After I explained to him that I was actually Venezuelan, he simply snorted and said, "That's the same f*cking thing. If you speak Spanish then you're Mexican." FML

#20939700
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46689) - you deserved it (5310)

On 10/30/2013 at 10:59pm - misc - by Rinelric1998 (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my boyfriend came onto me in a romantic gesture. We ended up having sex, forgetting that the window repair guy was supposed to come today and do some work on our third floor apartment windows. I still don't know how much he saw. FML

#20939175
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42901) - you deserved it (13341)

On 10/30/2013 at 3:17pm - intimacy - by English_Nut117 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my husband and I were watching Jurassic Park. At the end of the movie, he commented on how amazed he was that they could "train those dinosaurs" to do exactly what they wanted them to do. FML

#20937890
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46685) - you deserved it (5055)

On 10/29/2013 at 1:01pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I overcame my stage fright and got up in front of a café audience with my acoustic guitar to sing a few of my songs. Some asshat kept yelling stuff like "NEEDS MORE COWBELL!" and "FREEBIRD!", which made me lose my nerve and flee. FML

#20937310
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37678) - you deserved it (4058)

On 10/28/2013 at 9:57pm - misc - by NickDrakeFan (man) - United States

Today, I had to call a plumber out to clear a blockage in our bathroom drainpipe. After coming back from work later in the day, and after a tearful confession from my wife, I found out that pipe wasn't the only one he snaked. FML

#20932505
246 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55292) - you deserved it (3690)

On 10/24/2013 at 4:06pm - misc - by soon to be divorced (man) - United States

Today, I heard crashing noises coming from my dining room. I got up to see what it was; my asshat cat was flinging himself at my chandelier. He'd figured out how to grab the ceiling fan from the other room, build momentum, and launch into my expensive chandelier. Hooray. FML

#20929956
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45084) - you deserved it (4773)

On 10/22/2013 at 5:12am - animals - by IamAflyingCat - United States

Today, I was assigned to fill in for a French teacher who was out sick. I had asked the class to name some French-speaking countries. I called on one girl and she replied, "Uh, Europe. That's, like, the only other one, right?" Nobody disagreed. I'm filling in for the rest of the month. FML

#20929522
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40944) - you deserved it (2584)

On 10/21/2013 at 9:40pm - work - by :| - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, after recently complaining that the reality show "The Great Norway Adventure" portrays us as a country of nationalistic rednecks, I saw my drunk dad chasing my uncle on a tractor while bellowing the national anthem at the top of his lungs. FML

#20926483
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42921) - you deserved it (4672)

On 10/19/2013 at 3:37pm - misc - by overly nationalistic redneck (woman) - Norway (Hordaland)

Today, my surgeon was talking to me about my upcoming heart bypass operation. I was extremely nervous from the start, but he somehow managed to keep saying things like "death", "fatalities", "high-risk", and "never wake up" throughout. FML

#20925456
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38116) - you deserved it (3086)

On 10/18/2013 at 6:12pm - health - by DocBastard, meet DocCunt (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I woke up with a raging hangover. I soon checked my phone, only to find that I'd drunkenly sent nude pictures to several friends' numbers, as well as to my own. I'd then replied to my own message, saying that I'm not gay and telling myself to fuck off. FML

#20925183
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27179) - you deserved it (39011)

On 10/18/2013 at 1:30pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was pushed off of a glacier by a very angry tourist. Why? I work as a glacier guide, and apparently some people find it overly frustrating to be informed that there isn't a café on the glacier. FML

#20924969
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45796) - you deserved it (2713)

On 10/18/2013 at 8:40am - work - by Quasimodo (woman) - Norway (Hordaland)

Today, my boyfriend told me that I have the bad habit of not doing the dishes before he has his daily piss in the sink. FML

#20923758
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45516) - you deserved it (5149)

On 10/17/2013 at 7:51am - misc - by Michelle (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, it hit me that I'm incredibly pathetic, when at the age of 21, I tucked my stuffed animals into bed with me, facing in different directions so they could keep watch for monsters while I slept. FML

#20922788
257 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43556) - you deserved it (14435)

On 10/16/2013 at 2:48pm - misc - by SaveMeTeddy (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend at a dinner with our two families. Not only did she flatly reject me, my dad said, "Good call. He's not ready." FML

#20921216
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46501) - you deserved it (6107)

On 10/15/2013 at 2:49am - love - by notready (man) - Australia



Korrig'Anne's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Korrig'Anne's illustrated FML
  • So, have you ordered it? Have you got it? No? Yes? Do you have any idea of what I'm talking about? OK, for the normal people, I'm talking about the new iPhone 6. Apparently, it came out today. I'm not…

Friday 19 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: