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Offline (the 07/24/2016 at 4:50am)



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 15 September 1993 (23 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 15321
  • Number of comments : 14
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About TheDragonsGuard : Message me if you want to talk!

ThePaperDragon is cool people, we're buddies irl.

TheDragonsGuard's page activity

Visits<b>robsmit98</b> - 19 hours ago<b>alcalaboy5</b> - the 10/17/2016 at 9:17am<b>Unlovable_Me</b> - the 10/14/2016 at 11:06am<b>Trace01m</b> - the 10/11/2016 at 12:37am<b>duduv2</b> - the 10/08/2016 at 6:46am<b>ThePaperDragon</b> - the 10/07/2016 at 5:37am<b>stryder9090</b> - the 10/03/2016 at 8:03am<b>tin_cup</b> - the 09/15/2016 at 11:52am<b>dburton</b> - the 09/15/2016 at 1:42am<b>iamscott</b> - the 09/15/2016 at 1:16am<b>Wane8822</b> - the 09/14/2016 at 10:24pm<b>chewsef</b> - the 09/14/2016 at 8:39pm<b>Rintarok5</b> - the 09/14/2016 at 6:17pm<b>madnessking</b> - the 09/09/2016 at 10:53pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 09/05/2016 at 9:55am<b>kintoki25</b> - the 08/31/2016 at 7:57pm<b>killuaxgon</b> - the 08/28/2016 at 4:07pm<b>DerBuchmacher</b> - the 08/16/2016 at 10:30am

Fucked!<b>Unlovable_Me</b> - the 10/14/2016 at 5:07pm<b>stryder9090</b> - the 09/15/2016 at 3:58pm<b>dburton</b> - the 09/15/2016 at 7:43am<b>chewsef</b> - the 09/15/2016 at 2:39am<b>killuaxgon</b> - the 08/28/2016 at 10:07pm<b>madnessking</b> - the 08/26/2016 at 4:32am<b>minimanion</b> - the 08/15/2016 at 4:13am<b>zeusdom</b> - the 08/09/2016 at 6:15am<b>Teyros</b> - the 07/23/2016 at 2:47am<b>Diamond_don</b> - the 07/21/2016 at 3:23am<b>PurpleKicks</b> - the 07/11/2016 at 7:51am<b>christian1509</b> - the 05/29/2016 at 10:43am<b>OmgimBored</b> - the 05/01/2016 at 5:05am<b>frankmz</b> - the 04/30/2016 at 5:50am<b>Coco_Tolisso8</b> - the 04/25/2016 at 8:30pm<b>duduv2</b> - the 04/25/2016 at 1:21pm<b>Kruitdamp</b> - the 04/18/2016 at 10:53pm<b>MxAxRxCxO</b> - the 04/15/2016 at 2:41am

TheDragonsGuard's FML badges

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

One more and it's business time

You've received 68 likes on your profile. Kinky.

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

See all of TheDragonsGuard's badges

TheDragonsGuard's favorite FMLs

Today, an old man looked me dead in the eyes as he reached into my tip jar, grabbed the money, and then walked out of the store as if nothing ever happened. I was so shocked that I couldn't do anything to stop him. FML

by brokeasajoke / 11/01/2013 at 8:58am / United States (Oklahoma) / Money

Today, I got a new cell phone number and sent a text to my wife. Playing around, I said, "Hey sexy are you alone yet? I'm ready to come over." She responded with, "Hey, yeah he is at work - did you get a new number?" FML

by PapaW / 11/01/2013 at 3:01am / United States (Utah) / Intimacy

Today, my grandma has been running around the neighborhood, dressed as Bobo the Evil Clown, chasing trick-or-treaters. All I've been able to do is chase after her, and apologize to the terrified children's families. FML

by bobosgonnagetyou / 11/01/2013 at 2:04am / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous

Today, some kid asked me if I was Mexican. After I explained to him that I was actually Venezuelan, he simply snorted and said, "That's the same f*cking thing. If you speak Spanish then you're Mexican." FML

by Rinelric1998 / 10/30/2013 at 10:59pm / United States (North Carolina) / Kids

Today, my boyfriend came onto me in a romantic gesture. We ended up having sex, forgetting that the window repair guy was supposed to come today and do some work on our third floor apartment windows. I still don't know how much he saw. FML

by English_Nut117 / 10/30/2013 at 3:17pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, my husband and I were watching Jurassic Park. At the end of the movie, he commented on how amazed he was that they could "train those dinosaurs" to do exactly what they wanted them to do. FML

by Anonymous / 10/29/2013 at 1:01pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Love

Today, I overcame my stage fright and got up in front of a café audience with my acoustic guitar to sing a few of my songs. Some asshat kept yelling stuff like "NEEDS MORE COWBELL!" and "FREEBIRD!", which made me lose my nerve and flee. FML

by NickDrakeFan / 10/28/2013 at 9:57pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to call a plumber out to clear a blockage in our bathroom drainpipe. After coming back from work later in the day, and after a tearful confession from my wife, I found out that pipe wasn't the only one he snaked. FML

by soon to be divorced / 10/24/2013 at 4:06pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I heard crashing noises coming from my dining room. I got up to see what it was; my asshat cat was flinging himself at my chandelier. He'd figured out how to grab the ceiling fan from the other room, build momentum, and launch into my expensive chandelier. Hooray. FML

by IamAflyingCat / 10/22/2013 at 5:12am / United States / Animals

Today, I was assigned to fill in for a French teacher who was out sick. I had asked the class to name some French-speaking countries. I called on one girl and she replied, "Uh, Europe. That's, like, the only other one, right?" Nobody disagreed. I'm filling in for the rest of the month. FML

by :| / 10/21/2013 at 9:40pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Work

Today, after recently complaining that the reality show "The Great Norway Adventure" portrays us as a country of nationalistic rednecks, I saw my drunk dad chasing my uncle on a tractor while bellowing the national anthem at the top of his lungs. FML

by overly nationalistic redneck / 10/19/2013 at 3:37pm / Norway (Hordaland) / Miscellaneous

Today, my surgeon was talking to me about my upcoming heart bypass operation. I was extremely nervous from the start, but he somehow managed to keep saying things like "death", "fatalities", "high-risk", and "never wake up" throughout. FML

by DocBastard, meet DocCunt / 10/18/2013 at 6:12pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Health

Today, I woke up with a raging hangover. I soon checked my phone, only to find that I'd drunkenly sent nude pictures to several friends' numbers, as well as to my own. I'd then replied to my own message, saying that I'm not gay and telling myself to fuck off. FML

by Anonymous / 10/18/2013 at 1:30pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was pushed off of a glacier by a very angry tourist. Why? I work as a glacier guide, and apparently some people find it overly frustrating to be informed that there isn't a café on the glacier. FML

by Quasimodo / 10/18/2013 at 8:40am / Norway (Hordaland) / Work

Today, my boyfriend told me that I have the bad habit of not doing the dishes before he has his daily piss in the sink. FML

by Michelle / 10/17/2013 at 7:51am / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous