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Today, while at the store with my mom and baby brother, a guy started to talk to me. Just as he went to give me his number, my mom handed me my brother and said, "Here's your son, your AA meeting's in an hour, let's go." FML
I agree, your life sucks (42168) - you deserved it (3410)
On 12/26/2012 at 1:30pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, after giving my husband a new video game that he's been wanting, along with homemade waffles and a surprise blowjob, he gave me my gift: two packets of ramen noodles, and toilet paper. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33258) - you deserved it (3160)
On 12/26/2012 at 12:25pm - love - by annie_nk (woman) - United States (Utah)
Today, my ex-boyfriend of over 4 years decided to turn up outside my house at 1am, drunk off his ass, to confess his love for me. When I told him I'd moved on and am happily engaged, he cried on the grass for an hour, then tried to steal my cat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32906) - you deserved it (2856)
On 12/26/2012 at 12:18pm - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I woke up on my boyfriend's bedroom floor. When I asked him why I was there, he said I'd gotten too hot, so he rolled me off his bed. I have the flu and a fever. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27216) - you deserved it (2356)
On 12/25/2012 at 11:56pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I woke up thinking my house was on fire because I could hear crackling flames downstairs. I panicked and tripped out of bed. It was the fireplace channel I left on last night so I could wake up to a Christmas ambiance. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8301) - you deserved it (22232)
On 12/25/2012 at 9:46pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)
Today, my psycho grandma yelled at me for being an "immature brat" by not offering to wash the dishes after dinner. I reminded her that when I offered last time, she raged at me for being "condescending". She responded by faking a heart attack and getting me indefinitely grounded. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28095) - you deserved it (313)
On 12/25/2012 at 3:59pm - misc - by really mature, GRAN (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my boyfriend and I were having Christmas dinner while his mom was away. I was lying alone on his bed while he did the dishes, when the bedroom door dramatically swung open and his mom glared at me from the doorway. I had to leave when she screamed "FORNICATION IS A SIN!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (27725) - you deserved it (3178)
On 12/25/2012 at 1:41am - love - by un_christmas - Malaysia (Kuala Lumpur)
Today, I woke up to find our Christmas tree knocked over, unwrapped presents scattered everywhere, and my mom passed out on the sofa with a bottle of booze. Merry Christmas. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31424) - you deserved it (1806)
On 12/24/2012 at 10:20pm - misc - by Julie (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, my 14-year-old daughter came home after sneaking out and partying. She was totally drunk, and started crying on my shoulder because some boy named "Thomas" has a small dick, and she had to fake an orgasm. FML
I agree, your life sucks (64187) - you deserved it (15793)
On 12/24/2012 at 10:03pm - intimacy - by valnaj1 (woman) - Denmark (Syddanmark)
Today, I gave my girlfriend an orgasm. It was great until mid-gasm when she swung her arm out and knocked me out. She still can't stop laughing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29892) - you deserved it (4043)
On 12/24/2012 at 2:44pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Surrey)
Today, as her parents were supposed to be out of town, I stayed over with my girlfriend, and we ended up in bed together. Later on, while poking through the fridge, I heard footsteps, so I said, "Didn't think you'd be walking after that." I closed the fridge and saw her dad. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34239) - you deserved it (16289)
On 12/24/2012 at 1:02pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. I was getting pretty horny, and I thought some dirty talk would turn him on. Amid my panting, I breathed the words, "Fuck me." He then stopped and said, "Excuse me, I don't like hearing that language." and wouldn't continue until I corrected myself. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37434) - you deserved it (6430)
On 12/24/2012 at 8:32am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my boyfriend ended sex by yelling, "THIS IS SPARTA!" and using his foot to push me off the bed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44661) - you deserved it (7276)
On 12/23/2012 at 11:55pm - intimacy - by Saradee (woman) - United States (California)
Today, while talking to my boyfriend, he got upset and accused me of making up words to make him feel stupid. All because I used the word "vapid." FML
I agree, your life sucks (21007) - you deserved it (5621)
On 12/22/2012 at 5:19pm - misc - by seriously? (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, after sharing my first night in bed with my boyfriend, I woke up early, and decided to rouse him with some surprise oral. It didn't go so well; he woke up screaming and gasped, "OH MY GOD! I thought you were my cat!" before telling me to continue. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30951) - you deserved it (5387)
On 12/21/2012 at 8:16pm - intimacy - by anonymaiacciu (woman) - France
Monday 20 May 2013
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