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Today, in the middle of sex, my girlfriend asked me, "Are you sure you're a guy?" I still have no idea what that was for. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35840) - you deserved it (4837)
On 03/03/2013 at 7:17am - intimacy - by Ihatemylife (man) - Slovenia (Bohinj)
Today, I told my mom that I heard something, and I think we have rats in the attic and should hire an exterminator. She looked at me and said, "Rats, huh? That's what the mom in The Exorcist thought, but it turned out to be the devil living up there." FML
I agree, your life sucks (25328) - you deserved it (2072)
On 03/02/2013 at 11:18pm - misc - by jkbeynon - United States (California)
Today, after an argument with my pianist girlfriend about how bad my favourite song would sound on the piano, she stormed out of the room crying, leaving behind a CD. It was the piano version of the song she'd made for me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9445) - you deserved it (54597)
On 03/02/2013 at 10:38pm - love - by douchegamer - New Zealand (Auckland)
Today, I went to a paintball match with a group of friends, one of whom brought his dad along. His dad is a weight-lifting, wannabe alpha male fucknut who thinks that chokeslamming opponents is a legitimate close-quarters paintball tactic. My broken shoulder disagrees. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32652) - you deserved it (1891)
On 03/02/2013 at 1:59pm - health - by Anonymous - United Kingdom
Today, as I was about to open a door at school, a student opened it and hit me. As I recovered and was about to open it again, someone else opened the door, hitting me again. Everyone laughed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27741) - you deserved it (2271)
On 03/02/2013 at 9:09am - misc - by Doors Hate Me - United States
Today, I was making out with my girlfriend, and after a while, she moved her hand down to my crotch. She felt my erection, then got up and yelled at me, calling me a horny pig for "assuming we were going to have sex." FML
I agree, your life sucks (50160) - you deserved it (4406)
On 03/01/2013 at 5:54pm - intimacy - by sn-511 (man) - Italy (Campania)
Today, my wife packed my lunch. Inside of my lunchbox was a photo of her eating my sandwiches. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30195) - you deserved it (6125)
On 03/01/2013 at 2:18am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, after working out at the gym, I went to grab my bag, and realized that my phone was missing. Panicking, I reached into my pocket, pulled out my phone, and dialed my mom's number to tell her I'd lost it. It took me until the last ring to realize what I was doing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8461) - you deserved it (25732)
On 03/01/2013 at 2:02am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, I texted my boyfriend a cute picture that I drew for him, with a little note saying "love you." He replied by sending me a picture of a nose hair he'd plucked, along with the caption, "longest one yet." FML
I agree, your life sucks (21712) - you deserved it (2762)
On 03/01/2013 at 12:21am - love - by thenewgirl29 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, while I was studying for an exam, my younger sister came home extremely drunk and threw up all over herself and her bed. I later got grounded for not setting a better example. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26302) - you deserved it (1424)
On 02/28/2013 at 6:02am - misc - by catdog552 - United States
Today, I walked outside to this guy attempting to steal my bike. When I asked him what he was doing he calmly replied, "I'm a bike inspector. You hooked your chain all wrong! This time is a warning; next time it'll be a ticket!" He then threw his full, opened Pepsi can at me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22917) - you deserved it (1912)
On 02/27/2013 at 5:39pm - misc - by Chelsea - United States (Ohio)
Today, my 20-year-old daughter staggered into my room at two in the morning, drunker than I ever thought a person could be, screaming for me to make pancakes for her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28605) - you deserved it (6416)
On 02/27/2013 at 4:42pm - kids - by Ugh (woman) - United Kingdom
Today, I decided to surprise my boyfriend by quietly undressing and sneaking into the bathroom to join him in the shower. He was bent over taking a dump, pushing his turd down the plughole. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32637) - you deserved it (5379)
On 02/27/2013 at 8:49am - misc - by anony (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, a German guy came into the place where I work. Eager to use the German that I'd learned from my immigrant mother and her family, I started a conversation. Things were going well until the term I grew up thinking meant "Africa" turned out to be racist, translating as "Ape Land." FML
I agree, your life sucks (22364) - you deserved it (2516)
On 02/26/2013 at 11:50pm - misc - by Jan (man) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I went to use the restroom. I looked down at the toilet, and saw blood smeared all over the seat, as well as several dirty tampons in the floor. I confronted my girlfriend about the mess, only for her to reply with, "Well, what'd you expect? You live with a woman now." FML
I agree, your life sucks (38061) - you deserved it (3237)
On 02/26/2013 at 1:29am - health - by GrossedOut (man) - United States (Georgia)
Friday 24 May 2013
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