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Offline (the 07/24/2016 at 4:50am)



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 15 September 1993 (23 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 15334
  • Number of comments : 14
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About TheDragonsGuard : Message me if you want to talk!

ThePaperDragon is cool people, we're buddies irl.

TheDragonsGuard's page activity

Visits<b>Trollx</b> - the 10/20/2016 at 9:04pm<b>robsmit98</b> - the 10/20/2016 at 2:20am<b>alcalaboy5</b> - the 10/17/2016 at 9:17am<b>Unlovable_Me</b> - the 10/14/2016 at 11:06am<b>Trace01m</b> - the 10/11/2016 at 12:37am<b>duduv2</b> - the 10/08/2016 at 6:46am<b>ThePaperDragon</b> - the 10/07/2016 at 5:37am<b>stryder9090</b> - the 10/03/2016 at 8:03am<b>tin_cup</b> - the 09/15/2016 at 11:52am<b>dburton</b> - the 09/15/2016 at 1:42am<b>iamscott</b> - the 09/15/2016 at 1:16am<b>Wane8822</b> - the 09/14/2016 at 10:24pm<b>chewsef</b> - the 09/14/2016 at 8:39pm<b>Rintarok5</b> - the 09/14/2016 at 6:17pm<b>madnessking</b> - the 09/09/2016 at 10:53pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 09/05/2016 at 9:55am<b>kintoki25</b> - the 08/31/2016 at 7:57pm<b>killuaxgon</b> - the 08/28/2016 at 4:07pm

Fucked!<b>Unlovable_Me</b> - the 10/14/2016 at 5:07pm<b>stryder9090</b> - the 09/15/2016 at 3:58pm<b>dburton</b> - the 09/15/2016 at 7:43am<b>chewsef</b> - the 09/15/2016 at 2:39am<b>killuaxgon</b> - the 08/28/2016 at 10:07pm<b>madnessking</b> - the 08/26/2016 at 4:32am<b>minimanion</b> - the 08/15/2016 at 4:13am<b>zeusdom</b> - the 08/09/2016 at 6:15am<b>Teyros</b> - the 07/23/2016 at 2:47am<b>Diamond_don</b> - the 07/21/2016 at 3:23am<b>PurpleKicks</b> - the 07/11/2016 at 7:51am<b>christian1509</b> - the 05/29/2016 at 10:43am<b>OmgimBored</b> - the 05/01/2016 at 5:05am<b>frankmz</b> - the 04/30/2016 at 5:50am<b>Coco_Tolisso8</b> - the 04/25/2016 at 8:30pm<b>duduv2</b> - the 04/25/2016 at 1:21pm<b>Kruitdamp</b> - the 04/18/2016 at 10:53pm<b>MxAxRxCxO</b> - the 04/15/2016 at 2:41am

TheDragonsGuard's FML badges

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

One more and it's business time

You've received 68 likes on your profile. Kinky.

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

See all of TheDragonsGuard's badges

TheDragonsGuard's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex and in the heat of the moment I cried out for him to go harder. He had an exasperated expression on his face, and in an adamantly offended tone he said, "Don't tell me what to do." Then he stopped and left the room. FML

by belljars / 04/17/2014 at 10:27pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I met up with an old friend of mine who acts in a TV show. I hadn't seen him in a long time, but I'd been watching episodes of the show almost daily, so when he showed up I could only see him as his TV character and not as my friend. I ended up calling him by his character's name. FML

by Confused / 04/16/2014 at 12:13am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my professor ran half a mile in the pouring rain just to return my cell phone, which I had left behind in lecture. Shocked and embarrassed, I exclaimed, "You shouldn't have!" "Damn right," he responded, "I'm 64 years old." FML

by sad but true. / 04/15/2014 at 7:18pm / United States (Connecticut) / Work

Today, my boyfriend stayed over at my place for the first time. I left him in the bedroom for a couple of minutes while I used the toilet, and when I came back, he was holding my vibrator. He angrily asked me, "What the hell is this? You know this is cheating, right?" FML

by Anonymous / 04/15/2014 at 12:37pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy

Today, in the middle of sex, my girlfriend yelled, "STUFF ME LIKE A TURKEY!" I couldn't finish. FML

by Anonymous / 04/14/2014 at 4:12pm / United States (Maryland) / Intimacy

Today, 30 minutes after finishing a great date with a great girl, she texted me and said, "Yeah, uh, never come near me again." FML

by lax22 / 04/13/2014 at 4:33pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, my nephews discovered how to trick my washing machine into starting up while the door is still open. My laundry room is now flooded, and their mom refuses to accept any responsibility for it. FML

by MisterGasMoney / 04/13/2014 at 1:08pm / United States (New York) / Kids

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was on a date with my boyfriend. As we walked back home from the cinema, he was checking his phone, when suddenly someone grabbed it and ran off. I had to be the one to go run after the thug because my 23-year-old boyfriend froze on the spot, crying. FML

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting frisky, and I whispered that I love him. He immediately lost his boner, and a few minutes later "remembered" he had to be somewhere else. FML

by princess / 04/12/2014 at 5:01pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, I was taking the biggest shit of my life. When I worked the thing out, it hit the water with such force that I got a toilet water enema from the backwash. I was so freaked out that I screamed and fell off the seat, prompting my husband to rush in to see what was wrong. FML

by traumatized / 04/12/2014 at 2:07pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out I was pregnant. When I told my boyfriend, his response was, "I'll start watching pregnant porn to build up an attraction to it." FML

by Anonymous / 04/12/2014 at 1:24am / United States / Intimacy

Today, after months of busting our asses and working round the clock on our latest project, I and the whole office just got bad news: when our boss promised extremely generous bonuses for doing all this, he was point-blank lying, and intended to take credit for our work all along. FML

by Anonymous / 04/11/2014 at 7:16pm / United States (California) / Work

Today, I'm in the process of adopting a child. When I called my mom to tell her the news, she just said, "Oh honey, don't adopt, it's the worst decision you'll ever make." I'm adopted. FML

by babylove / 04/11/2014 at 5:58pm / South Africa / Kids

Today, my dad hit his mid-life crisis. When I came home and said hi, he told me to shut up, then went to the living room. He then lit up a cigarette and started muttering about having to put up with me, then went into a coughing fit, because he's never smoked before in his life. FML

by Cuntlette / 04/11/2014 at 12:38pm / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous

Today, I witnessed my roommate telling a girl that he has "really healthy shits". I wanted to make fun of him, but he got laid by said girl and I went home to jerk off. FML

by damn / 04/09/2014 at 5:12pm / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy