Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

TheDragonsGuard

Offline (the 01/29/2016 at 5:08pm) | Search for a member

TheDragonsGuard

82Fucked!

TheDragonsGuardTheDragonsGuard
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 15 September 1993 (22 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 13476
  • Number of comments : 12
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About TheDragonsGuard : Message me if you want to talk!

ThePaperDragon is cool people, we're buddies irl.

TheDragonsGuard's page activity

Visits<b>Dune1988</b> - 22 hours ago<b>bigbrown24</b> - the 02/05/2016 at 3:32am<b>hotheadslav</b> - the 02/04/2016 at 6:18pm<b>pedrorocks</b> - the 02/04/2016 at 4:14pm<b>MxAxRxCxO</b> - the 02/04/2016 at 12:02am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 02/03/2016 at 5:13am<b>Trace01m</b> - the 02/03/2016 at 2:52am<b>Y0UI34574RD</b> - the 01/30/2016 at 1:43pm<b>saxyguy</b> - the 01/30/2016 at 12:18pm<b>lexred</b> - the 01/30/2016 at 3:30am<b>minimanion</b> - the 01/29/2016 at 9:30pm<b>0mysteriousman0</b> - the 01/29/2016 at 8:12pm<b>ethenkray</b> - the 01/26/2016 at 11:39pm<b>Mons</b> - the 01/26/2016 at 10:27pm<b>TheLastCenturion</b> - the 01/26/2016 at 9:34pm<b>Sayeret_Matkal</b> - the 01/26/2016 at 8:36pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 01/26/2016 at 5:50pm<b>TheOneButNotOnly</b> - the 01/25/2016 at 6:24pm

Fucked!<b>Dune1988</b> - 16 hours ago<b>hotheadslav</b> - the 02/05/2016 at 12:19am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 02/03/2016 at 11:12am<b>lexred</b> - the 01/30/2016 at 9:30am<b>tranced_</b> - the 01/23/2016 at 8:16am<b>moocowmilk0</b> - the 01/22/2016 at 7:39pm<b>isaak_sanchez</b> - the 01/22/2016 at 5:04pm<b>tin_cup</b> - the 01/14/2016 at 9:05am<b>pred8885</b> - the 01/11/2016 at 12:05pm<b>mhoch22</b> - the 01/07/2016 at 7:15am<b>callsign_banana</b> - the 01/05/2016 at 9:03am<b>10nachoman10</b> - the 01/03/2016 at 12:45pm<b>NAH2000</b> - the 01/02/2016 at 7:24pm<b>Geary519</b> - the 12/29/2015 at 12:13am<b>pokysmalls</b> - the 12/22/2015 at 1:10am<b>TyroneLeBron</b> - the 12/21/2015 at 7:24pm<b>ndnpride88</b> - the 12/21/2015 at 5:03pm<b>miss_fluffybutt</b> - the 12/21/2015 at 4:42pm

TheDragonsGuard's FML badges

One more and it's business time

You've received 68 likes on your profile. Kinky.

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of TheDragonsGuard's badges

TheDragonsGuard's favorite FMLs

Today, I was on the London underground reading a newspaper. A huge guy was sitting next to me and there weren't many other people around. As I turned a page, he leaned into me, glaring, and said, "I'm not finished yet". At the next stop I put down the paper and jumped off. It wasn't even my stop. FML

#21121256
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37591) - you deserved it (5201)

On 04/23/2014 at 10:21pm - misc - by Quackadoodledoo (man) - United Kingdom (Barnet)

Today, my teen son gave me the completed manuscript of the novel he's been working on for 4 years. Surprised and excited that he showed so much dedication to something, I volunteered to read it. I'm only on page 16 and it's absolute drivel, with grammar that makes my eyes bleed. Only 281 pages to go. FML

#21120593
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42559) - you deserved it (6446)

On 04/23/2014 at 3:17am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (South Dakota)

Today, I finished building a porch I've worked hard on for the past 2 weeks, and I was very proud on how amazing it turned out. Within 20 minutes of it being completed, my pregnant dog decided to crawl underneath it to have her puppies. I had to take half the porch apart to get to her and them. FML

#21120370
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46459) - you deserved it (5311)

On 04/22/2014 at 10:46pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, and he was moaning a lot. My ego was quickly crushed, though, when I found out they were moans of pain due to a foot cramp. We had to stop so I could rub his foot better. FML

#21120108
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52047) - you deserved it (6482)

On 04/22/2014 at 6:21pm - intimacy - by only my life (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, my boyfriend's parents' parrot won't stop imitating my sex moans, and keeps doing it whenever I speak. FML

#21119041
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55822) - you deserved it (15543)

On 04/21/2014 at 2:42pm - intimacy - by sexual parrot -

Today, at my wedding, my husband stood up to give a speech. It started out beautiful, until he told everyone how he started to fall in love with me after I blew him on our first date. FML

#21118892
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59382) - you deserved it (14864)

On 04/21/2014 at 11:43am - intimacy - by Sue Ellen (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I went to get an ultrasound done. I texted my ex, who's the father, and told him how adorable its little feet are, and asked him why he didn't come. I got a reply with two words: "DNA test". FML

#21118642
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40855) - you deserved it (11313)

On 04/21/2014 at 12:03am - kids - by kelly.duggan (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my guide dog sneezed so hard that it slammed its head on the floor and knocked itself out. I have to trust this dog with my life. FML

#21117679
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55213) - you deserved it (4814)

On 04/20/2014 at 12:03am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Idaho)

Today, I walked in on my brother shaving his nuts, all while giggling like a maniac and seemingly high out of his mind. FML

#21117346
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42780) - you deserved it (5192)

On 04/19/2014 at 5:26pm - misc - by burnmyeyes (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I accidentally let a huge one rip while tending to an older patient at the nursing home where I work. The patient passed away shortly thereafter. Coincidence? FML

#21116703
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44885) - you deserved it (7151)

On 04/18/2014 at 9:19pm - work - by Anonymous - Norway (Nordland)

Today, I took my kids to an Easter party hosted by a local church. The nice lady in charge told the kids, "Jesus died, but He rose to life again!" My 9 year old screamed, "LIKE A ZOMBIE!" FML

#21116666
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43952) - you deserved it (8547)

On 04/18/2014 at 8:14pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, due to my short temper, I punched myself in the nose because I wouldn't stop sneezing. FML

#21116112
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23628) - you deserved it (57586)

On 04/18/2014 at 7:09am - health - by Ow (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I lied to the cashier at my local store, saying that I was "nominated to buy the candy for the party" when in actuality I went home and gorged on it alone. FML

#21116013
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39318) - you deserved it (13241)

On 04/18/2014 at 1:37am - misc - by Fatass - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex and in the heat of the moment I cried out for him to go harder. He had an exasperated expression on his face, and in an adamantly offended tone he said, "Don't tell me what to do." Then he stopped and left the room. FML

#21115855
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62889) - you deserved it (8857)

On 04/17/2014 at 10:27pm - intimacy - by belljars (woman) - United States (California)



Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie delivers in 2016
  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: