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In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
Today, I was meeting my boyfriend's family for the first time. The minute I stepped in the door his mother hit me in the face and kicked me out because I was "the slut her husband cheated on her with." My older sister and I look much alike. Too much alike. FML
I agree, your life sucks (54092) - you deserved it (3468)
On 06/11/2013 at 11:20am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I started my job at a kids summer camp. The first little girl to arrive told me to close my eyes and open my hand because she had a "surprise" for me. Yep, a dead, decomposed sparrow covered in all sorts of bugs sure is a surprise. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35977) - you deserved it (4307)
On 06/11/2013 at 12:39am - kids - by sydneyp3435 - United States (Texas)
Today, my friend told me he had just robbed a bank and needed a place to hide. Thinking he was joking, I let him in so we could hang out. 15 minutes later, the cops storm into my apartment. Now I'm an accomplice in a crime I thought was a joke. FML
I agree, your life sucks (50548) - you deserved it (13738)
On 06/10/2013 at 11:23pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I was told by my grandfather that I was no longer allowed to visit him or to set foot in his house. Why? He found out I have been taking Japanese and German as electives in my degree, so I must be an 'enemy spy'. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40828) - you deserved it (4055)
On 06/10/2013 at 1:09am - work - by Frazz (man) - Australia (Queensland)
Today, my boyfriend and I watched the new movie "The Purge." After the movie, I jokingly asked him that if the U.S. had such a purge in real life, would he participate, and who would he kill first. Without missing a beat, he said, "you." FML
I agree, your life sucks (36298) - you deserved it (7174)
On 06/08/2013 at 7:43pm - misc - by purged (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, after discovering that our son is already sexually active, I asked my husband to have a talk with him. "Remember, son, it's all about the clit", wasn't what I had in mind. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46839) - you deserved it (9535)
On 06/08/2013 at 6:34am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Alabama)
Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. She pulled down my trousers, saw my Poke-ball boxers, and absolutely lost it. I had to lie next to her in bed for the next 10 minutes hearing her howl with laughter while crying "Dickachu, I choose you!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (40924) - you deserved it (50764)
On 06/07/2013 at 3:10am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I rescued a little boy who looked like he was drowning in a public pool. His mother then smacked me in the face for "touching him". FML
I agree, your life sucks (42091) - you deserved it (2533)
On 06/06/2013 at 12:13am - kids - by butisavedyourkid - United States
Today, my boyfriend of six days proposed to me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (66843) - you deserved it (8701)
On 06/05/2013 at 7:11pm - love - by The Clitshank Redemption (woman) - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)
Today, I found my husband farting on my pillows, bare ass. His only words were, "This isn't what it looks like." FML
I agree, your life sucks (45581) - you deserved it (4026)
On 06/05/2013 at 11:08am - misc - by Thanks Honey (woman) - United States
Today, I was at work talking to an older man. As our conversation ended, he said, "Thank you, ma'am." Then, he quickly stumbled over his words as he said, "I mean, thank you, sir. I meant sir. I think." He gazed at me for a moment in confusion, then darted away. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36973) - you deserved it (5410)
On 06/05/2013 at 12:25am - work - by SApprentice (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, my wife uttered the soul-crushing words, "But we're married now, why would we have sex?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (63225) - you deserved it (5777)
On 06/04/2013 at 8:08pm - intimacy - by ._. (man) - United Kingdom (Bedfordshire)
Today, my boyfriend lost his temper with me and complained that my "constant" apologies for upsetting him drive him insane, and without thinking, I said I was sorry. He hung up and I haven't heard from him since. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36196) - you deserved it (17131)
On 06/04/2013 at 4:55pm - love - by cupcakechick (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, while at my aunt's funeral, my grandma who has terrible memory loss asked me whose funeral we were at. I had to explain to her that her daughter had died. FML
I agree, your life sucks (70028) - you deserved it (2672)
On 06/03/2013 at 1:32am - misc - by Me - United States (Illinois)
Today, I witnessed a large woman pee on a pregnancy test in the middle of a Walmart parking lot, clean herself off, then wander around with the test hanging out of her mouth, waiting for her result. Where in the name of Christ do these people come from? FML
I agree, your life sucks (59328) - you deserved it (3293)
On 06/02/2013 at 2:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Monday 17 June 2013
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