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Today, I thought the public restroom I was in was empty, so I started rapping. I realized the room was not empty when, recognizing the song, the person one stall over joined in. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4334) - you deserved it (6850)
On 05/21/2013 at 11:01am - misc - by crappingrapping - United States
Today, I beat my extremely competitive friend in a game of pool. He responded by breaking a pool stick over my head. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29502) - you deserved it (3845)
On 05/20/2013 at 2:32am - misc - by soreloser (man) - United States (Montana)
Today, the extremely uncooperative client whom I'm trying to defend in court sent me a letter in which he threatened to sue me, because charging him for my services supposedly violates his "constipational rights". FML
I agree, your life sucks (35814) - you deserved it (2717)
On 05/19/2013 at 5:27pm - work - by harrington61 (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, the weather was beautiful, so I decided to go out skating. I guess I took a wrong turn into a bad neighborhood, because I ended up being chased several blocks by a group of jacked-up thugs wielding baseball bats and taunting, "Skate or die, homie!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (33455) - you deserved it (4585)
On 05/19/2013 at 4:33pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Today, my brother broke his mountain bike, so he stole mine, and managed to break it as well. Then he made some kind of franken-bike out of parts from both, and messed that one up too. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31571) - you deserved it (2560)
On 05/19/2013 at 3:56pm - misc - by jfc, how just how (man) - United Kingdom (Milton Keynes)
Today, while at hospital with a broken arm, I was asked to raise my hand onto the x-ray machine. I told the nurse I couldn't move it without extreme pain. She told me to suck it up, picked up my arm, and dropped it on the machine. I could feel the bone completely separate. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46721) - you deserved it (2621)
On 05/18/2013 at 7:15pm - health - by mackmackey (man) - United States (Arizona)
Today, I brought my girlfriend home for the first time. I was really excited to introduce her to my parents, until we found my mother waving around a wooden sword, and my father trying to shove my sister into the dryer. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34767) - you deserved it (3606)
On 05/18/2013 at 4:06pm - love - by Mr_poole (man) - United States (Colorado)
Today, I spent hours debating with a lady who claimed she'd spent years "studying the big bang theory". Not only did she not know the scientific meaning of the word "theory", her killer argument was "If the big bang happened, where are the fossils?" I'm not sure whether or not I just got trolled. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28746) - you deserved it (3890)
On 05/18/2013 at 2:44pm - misc - by look at the fucking universe, lady (man) - United States (Alabama)
Today, I was in a big Skype chat, which somehow turned into a heated argument. My friend lost it, typed "your stupid" and called me a "looser." When I pointed out the irony of his messages, he rage-quit, drove all the way to my house, and punched me in the face at the door. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41631) - you deserved it (10953)
On 05/17/2013 at 5:16pm - health - by -1 friend (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I went to a local Indian takeaway, since I'm from India originally, and none of my friends speak Hindi. I went up to the counter and placed my order in Hindi with the seemingly Indian owner. He gave me a weird look and said, "Huh? Speak English, ya rimjob." FML
I agree, your life sucks (34878) - you deserved it (9573)
On 05/17/2013 at 4:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Today, I took my girlfriend to a family dinner. Things went great, until my grandma arrived. She thought it would be okay to continue our friendly prank war by congratulating me on my "wife's" pregnancy. My girlfriend actually believed it, and now thinks she's the "other woman". FML
I agree, your life sucks (42055) - you deserved it (4416)
On 05/16/2013 at 5:23pm - love - by paging dr. kevorkian (man) - Netherlands
Today, I walked in on my sister masturbating with my curling iron. FML
I agree, your life sucks (50840) - you deserved it (3997)
On 05/16/2013 at 3:49pm - intimacy - by need € for new iron (woman) - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)
Today, I went to visit my sister, who lives four hours away from me. I'd only just sat down on their couch when her husband told me I needed to leave so they could have sex. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36172) - you deserved it (2530)
On 05/16/2013 at 12:16pm - misc - by earplugsplease (woman) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, I saw a coin on the ground. As I bent over to pick it up, some dude came up from behind, grabbed my waist and humped me three times. He ran away before I could get a good look at his face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43725) - you deserved it (7771)
On 05/15/2013 at 4:08am - misc - by asdffhhjk (man) - Philippines (Manila)
Today, I woke up without my fiancé in bed next to me, but I assumed he'd gone to work early. I went on Facebook to find that he had posted a break-up post to himself from my account and set my status to single. I then found a note with "Sorry" written on it stuck to the kitchen counter. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44176) - you deserved it (2554)
Monday 20 May 2013
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