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TheDragonsGuard

Offline (the 01/29/2016 at 5:08pm) | Search for a member

TheDragonsGuard

82Fucked!

TheDragonsGuardTheDragonsGuard
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 15 September 1993 (22 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 13487
  • Number of comments : 12
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About TheDragonsGuard : Message me if you want to talk!

ThePaperDragon is cool people, we're buddies irl.

TheDragonsGuard's page activity

Visits<b>Dune1988</b> - the 02/06/2016 at 2:38pm<b>bigbrown24</b> - the 02/05/2016 at 3:32am<b>hotheadslav</b> - the 02/04/2016 at 6:18pm<b>pedrorocks</b> - the 02/04/2016 at 4:14pm<b>MxAxRxCxO</b> - the 02/04/2016 at 12:02am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 02/03/2016 at 5:13am<b>Trace01m</b> - the 02/03/2016 at 2:52am<b>Y0UI34574RD</b> - the 01/30/2016 at 1:43pm<b>saxyguy</b> - the 01/30/2016 at 12:18pm<b>lexred</b> - the 01/30/2016 at 3:30am<b>minimanion</b> - the 01/29/2016 at 9:30pm<b>0mysteriousman0</b> - the 01/29/2016 at 8:12pm<b>ethenkray</b> - the 01/26/2016 at 11:39pm<b>Mons</b> - the 01/26/2016 at 10:27pm<b>TheLastCenturion</b> - the 01/26/2016 at 9:34pm<b>Sayeret_Matkal</b> - the 01/26/2016 at 8:36pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 01/26/2016 at 5:50pm<b>TheOneButNotOnly</b> - the 01/25/2016 at 6:24pm

Fucked!<b>Dune1988</b> - yesterday at 8:39pm<b>hotheadslav</b> - the 02/05/2016 at 12:19am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 02/03/2016 at 11:12am<b>lexred</b> - the 01/30/2016 at 9:30am<b>tranced_</b> - the 01/23/2016 at 8:16am<b>moocowmilk0</b> - the 01/22/2016 at 7:39pm<b>isaak_sanchez</b> - the 01/22/2016 at 5:04pm<b>tin_cup</b> - the 01/14/2016 at 9:05am<b>pred8885</b> - the 01/11/2016 at 12:05pm<b>mhoch22</b> - the 01/07/2016 at 7:15am<b>callsign_banana</b> - the 01/05/2016 at 9:03am<b>10nachoman10</b> - the 01/03/2016 at 12:45pm<b>NAH2000</b> - the 01/02/2016 at 7:24pm<b>Geary519</b> - the 12/29/2015 at 12:13am<b>pokysmalls</b> - the 12/22/2015 at 1:10am<b>TyroneLeBron</b> - the 12/21/2015 at 7:24pm<b>ndnpride88</b> - the 12/21/2015 at 5:03pm<b>miss_fluffybutt</b> - the 12/21/2015 at 4:42pm

TheDragonsGuard's FML badges

One more and it's business time

You've received 68 likes on your profile. Kinky.

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of TheDragonsGuard's badges

TheDragonsGuard's favorite FMLs

Today, I was carrying my four-month-old son in a checkout line. An older couple behind us remarked that I would spoil my son if I carried him everywhere. My son responded by projectile vomiting all over the wife, then looked at me and giggled. FML

Today, as I was on the couch taking a nap, it started violently shaking. I panicked and chased my family outside, convinced it was an earthquake. It was just the cat trapped inside the couch. FML

Today, I had to check up on a 400-pound inmate who was very upset about being locked up. When I got to his cell, he threw one of his own turds at me through the bars. I took a hit. FML

#21214798
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51824) - you deserved it (4284)

On 07/20/2014 at 1:23am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because I'm too nice. Apparently, me being nice to him makes him feel guilty. FML

#21212029
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46107) - you deserved it (4612)

On 07/17/2014 at 4:48pm - love - by toonice - United States (Oregon)

Today, I babysat a 9-year-old kid for the first time. The moment his parents left the house, the little shit looked me dead in the eyes and let me know that if I didn't let him do whatever he wanted, he'd tell his parents that I touched him in his "no-no place". Suddenly I hate kids. FML

#21210892
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55154) - you deserved it (3865)

On 07/16/2014 at 2:56pm - kids - by fuck you, kid (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, while out grocery shopping with my mother, she asked me to hold a large bag of rice for her. Ten minutes later, I realized I'd been absent-mindedly stroking it the whole time, just like when I pick up my cat. FML

Today, I returned to my teaching job at a local community college after surfing for the weekend. I'd got sunburned, one student immediately noticed and said to me, "Morning, Mr. Pinky!" Now they all do it. My students are assholes. I hate teaching. FML

#21209954
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42513) - you deserved it (8082)

On 07/15/2014 at 6:04pm - work - by mister_pinky (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I asked my boyfriend if he could finally go down on me. He said, "No, that's disgusting" and then asked me for a blowjob. FML

#21207695
275 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65499) - you deserved it (8423)

On 07/13/2014 at 3:46am - intimacy - by NoSexForMe (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I accidentally twisted my balls in my own underwear so badly that I had to be hospitalized. FML

#21207158
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46196) - you deserved it (7808)

On 07/12/2014 at 4:19pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, my brother decided to help me artificially age some of my artwork by singeing the edges slightly. Apparently "my brother set fire to my homework" isn't a valid excuse. FML

#21206966
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42236) - you deserved it (6271)

On 07/12/2014 at 12:09pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (West Sussex)

Today, while sitting on my front porch, my cat came up beside me. I started idly stroking her, only to turn and realize I was petting a wild raccoon. FML

#21206318
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47605) - you deserved it (8802)

On 07/11/2014 at 7:38pm - animals - by and god shat (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, while in my backyard, I had some insane gastric distress. I let out a fart so powerful that it made me yelp in pain, and left my asshole numb. A second later, I heard a cough come from over my neighbor's fence. I had to quietly limp back into my house in shame. FML

#21206177
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43920) - you deserved it (6675)

On 07/11/2014 at 4:34pm - health - by soundslikeadumbcommentersituation (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was interviewing a woman for a job. She told me that she may need days off because of her artistic son. I jokingly replied, "Does he color on the walls or something?" She then stared at me with a weird look on her face. Autistic, her son is autistic. FML

#21205262
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41325) - you deserved it (21416)

On 07/10/2014 at 6:17pm - work - by dammit hearing aid - United States (Iowa)

Today, I nearly had an anxiety attack trying to sneak up on my sister to silly-string her. FML

#21205230
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33572) - you deserved it (13125)

On 07/10/2014 at 5:28pm - misc - by cassieono - United States (Massachusetts)



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