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TheDoctor10's favorite FMLs
Today, I tried to put the little girl I babysit in timeout for lying to me. I was about to sit her down when she made a mad dash for the basement stairs, slipped on the wood floor, and fell down them. She told her parents and everyone at the ER that I had thrown her down the stairs. FML
by little_star78 / 11/13/2013 at 6:08am / United States (Michigan) / Kids
by myheadhurts / 11/11/2013 at 9:14pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Health
Today, I found out that when you flush an animal clear of blood for research, there is a nerve inside the heart, which when you strike it right, electrical signals cause the animal to writhe as if alive. Now, my boss knows about my fear of zombies, and I'm now terrified of half my job. FML
by kittkatt1 / 11/10/2013 at 8:52pm / United States (Michigan) / Work
Today, after doing vigorous chores all day with my girlfriend, her mom came and paid us each $100. My girlfriend cried and threw a fit because she said they were her chores, so she deserves all the money. FML
by Go away / 11/10/2013 at 3:03am / United States (Iowa) / Money
by cricketsins / 11/07/2013 at 10:33pm / United States (Tennessee) / Miscellaneous
Today, while teaching juniors about black holes, I said, "Imagine everything being sucked into a black hole." An African-American student shouted, "I'd better start clenching!" Nobody took the lesson seriously after that. FML
by regretsteachinghighschool / 11/05/2013 at 8:22am / United States (Minnesota) / Work
Today, my boss came around to my way of thinking. He called our customers a "bunch of assholes" and to kick them out if they gave me trouble. When a lady began yelling at me for "setting the damn prices too high" I told her to leave. My boss soon bitched me out for being unprofessional. FML
by choke on a dick, sir / 11/01/2013 at 6:47pm / United States (Maine) / Work
by #isthisthepoundkey? / 11/01/2013 at 12:49pm / United States (Florida) / Work
Today, while I was working out, I was listening to music with my earbuds in. The Pokémon theme started playing and I begun singing along. It wasn't too long after that I remembered I was in a crowded gym on a military base. FML
by GymBattle / 10/31/2013 at 7:18pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by Asshole hornet / 10/28/2013 at 4:18pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous
by Huedadaa / 10/18/2013 at 8:05pm / France (Picardie) / Kids
by Anonymous / 10/18/2013 at 10:29am / United States (Massachusetts) / Work
Today, I was pushed off of a glacier by a very angry tourist. Why? I work as a glacier guide, and apparently some people find it overly frustrating to be informed that there isn't a café on the glacier. FML
by Quasimodo / 10/18/2013 at 8:40am / Norway (Hordaland) / Work
Today, I replaced a usually fun collegue's picture of his kids with a picture of my face against glass, so it looked I was inside the screen. Everyone laughed, but he reported me because I tried to "erase his children" and "if anything happens to them" it's now my fault. FML
by roundtherose / 10/12/2013 at 9:59pm / United States (Alaska) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, my neighbor's 4-year-old daughter came up to me and asked if she could have my dog. When I… 2Today, after working for Uber for a few weeks I realized that my driver rating was dropping. After… 3Today, I received a phone call, angry at me for not calling my dad on Father's Day. When I told her…