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TheDoctor10's favorite FMLs
Today, I went camping with my husband not too far from our house. We got our tent pitched up, stove ready and roll-out bed out. He then said, "I'm just gonna go for a walk." It had been about an hour before I decided to go find him. He had walked home to play CoD. FML
by AnnoyedWoman / 08/17/2014 at 6:19am / United Kingdom (Southampton) / Love
Today, I put on a porno, trying to unwind after a bad day. 10 minutes in, I was so pissed off with the girl constantly repeating "You like that? Yeah?" and the cameraman's obsession with the guy's asscrack that I started yelling at the screen. Now I'm more stressed than ever. FML
by FUCK YOU / 08/08/2014 at 5:29pm / United States / Intimacy
Today, I tried fixing my dad's lawnmower after he said, "Girls can't change a lightbulb right, let alone fix a machine." An hour later, when I had the lawnmower running again, he bitched me out for trying to make him "look stupid." He's been sulking and acting pissy ever since. FML
by Anonymous / 07/23/2014 at 4:44pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
Today, I babysat a 9-year-old kid for the first time. The moment his parents left the house, the little shit looked me dead in the eyes and let me know that if I didn't let him do whatever he wanted, he'd tell his parents that I touched him in his "no-no place". Suddenly I hate kids. FML
by fuck you, kid / 07/16/2014 at 2:56pm / Australia (Queensland) / Kids
Today, I went to see the school counselor to schedule my classes for school. She asked me if I knew how to speak English. My parents are Chinese and I don't even know how to speak Chinese. I've lived in America my whole life. Plus, I even spoke to her in English to ask about classes. FML
by Anonymous / 07/05/2014 at 1:53pm / United States / Work
Today, after leaving my mom's house, I got 4 text messages from her about how I was a terrible person for not saying goodbye to my sister when I left. The "sister" she was referring to is the family dog. FML
by Anonymous / 06/29/2014 at 6:28pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by whoops / 06/29/2014 at 4:37pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
by Madridsta / 06/28/2014 at 2:28am / United States (California) / Health
by NehNehPwn / 06/24/2014 at 11:09am / Canada (Ontario) / Work
Today, my dad heard that the guy who bullied me at school died recently of a drug overdose. For some reason, he thinks we were actually best friends, and thinks I'm doing drugs too. I'm now not allowed out of the house except to go to school. He won't listen to a word I say. FML
by kay-z / 06/21/2014 at 4:32pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by guest / 06/18/2014 at 9:14pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by shtidsfpa / 06/18/2014 at 5:06pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
Today, my laziness reached an all-time high. I had a dream that I was at school and had spilled all the contents of my backpack onto the floor. I then purposely shook myself out of my sleep to avoid cleaning up the mess in my dream. FML
by Anonymous / 06/16/2014 at 12:33pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was using my phone while in a crowded waiting room, and I accidentally tapped on a YouTube video with the volume still at maximum. The first words everyone heard? "Fuck her right in the pussy!" FML
by Anonymous / 06/14/2014 at 5:32pm / United States (Texas) / Geek