TheDeafWalrus

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TheDeafWalrus

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 668
  • Number of comments : 18
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About TheDeafWalrus : Christian. JSU. ΣΝ ΙΛ 422. Criminal justice major with concentration in forensic investigations. Chemistry and psychology minor.

TheDeafWalrus's page activity

Visits<b>fluxnflow</b> - the 08/27/2015 at 12:01pm<b>venomousflower</b> - the 03/25/2015 at 10:50am<b>animalover9</b> - the 05/02/2014 at 11:48pm<b>madisonutecht</b> - the 10/18/2013 at 5:05pm<b>saucyrossi</b> - the 10/01/2013 at 8:51pm<b>Pwn17</b> - the 09/13/2013 at 4:48pm<b>Funnyman324</b> - the 09/13/2013 at 6:24am<b>Danyellstar</b> - the 09/12/2013 at 3:09pm<b>greenie213</b> - the 03/04/2013 at 1:54pm<b>JustAGirlOnFML</b> - the 02/28/2013 at 2:34pm<b>CaptTeemo</b> - the 02/24/2013 at 12:42pm<b>4dycegrl</b> - the 02/24/2013 at 4:06am<b>luebbe</b> - the 02/23/2013 at 1:32am<b>sexxxysydney</b> - the 01/22/2013 at 4:15pm<b>BunchieRules</b> - the 01/14/2013 at 2:08am<b>kansah</b> - the 01/13/2013 at 5:09pm<b>StingRay_RZA</b> - the 01/12/2013 at 6:59pm<b>jessi_sunshine</b> - the 01/11/2013 at 6:29pm

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TheDeafWalrus's favorite FMLs

Today, I was at the doctor's getting a check up. He asked me if I was allergic to anything, to which I blurted out, "Cats." He gave me a weird look and said, "Don't worry, I won't give you cats." FML

by NoNotCats =^._.^= / 09/03/2013 at 4:17am / United States (Arizona) / Health

Today, my husband thought it would be acceptable to watch Breaking Bad on Netflix with my 4-year-old in the room. What happened to be the only line he picked up? "Well heil Hitler, bitch!" I found out from his preschool teacher. FML

by Anonymous / 09/03/2013 at 12:13am / United States (Massachusetts) / Kids

Today, I found out that my obese son, who is on a health-mandated diet and exercise plan, gorges on junk food whenever he has the chance. His logic? "It won't make you fatter if you crap it out." FML

by Anonymous / 09/02/2013 at 12:16am / United States (Nevada) / Health

Today, I sneezed. My boyfriend told me to shut up. FML

by SierraDiaz2097 / 03/23/2013 at 1:44am / United States (Mississippi) / Love

Today, I was making out with my girlfriend, and after a while, she moved her hand down to my crotch. She felt my erection, then got up and yelled at me, calling me a horny pig for "assuming we were going to have sex." FML

by sn-511 / 03/01/2013 at 5:54pm / Italy (Campania) / Intimacy

Today, a wasp knocked me out, broke my glasses, and left a gash over my eyebrow. It did so by flying under my glasses while I was playing my guitar, causing me to reflexively bat at it with the hand that was still grasping the guitar neck. FML

by JimiHendrix / 02/28/2013 at 8:55pm / France (Provence-Alpes-Cote d'Azur) / Health

Today, I got married on Skyrim. To an elf. While in real life, my love life is floundering like a half-dead carp in the surf on a hot day. So much so in fact that I actually draw a measure of comfort from being married to an elf. FML

by mr_loveless / 02/11/2013 at 2:19am / United States / Love

Today, I was at church, when my mom's phone went off during the sermon. As if that wasn't humiliating enough for me, her ring tone was set to the Bed Intruder song. FML

by killme / 12/29/2012 at 5:33pm / United States (Maine) / Miscellaneous