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TheDeafWalrus

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TheDeafWalrus
  • Town/Country : Madison, Al, United States
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 104
  • Number of comments : 18
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About TheDeafWalrus : I'm a pretty chill guy. blink-182 is my musical passion. I like long walks on the beach with whales singing Christmas carols. Oh? And you don't? Liar. I'm on the app so if ya message me I probably won't see it until long after it's due. Well... Bye creeper :)

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TheDeafWalrus's favorite FMLs

Today, I sneezed. My boyfriend told me to shut up. FML

#20555936
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29283) - you deserved it (6732)

On 03/23/2013 at 1:44am - love - by SierraDiaz2097 - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I was making out with my girlfriend, and after a while, she moved her hand down to my crotch. She felt my erection, then got up and yelled at me, calling me a horny pig for "assuming we were going to have sex." FML

#20527203
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50084) - you deserved it (4406)

On 03/01/2013 at 5:54pm - intimacy - by sn-511 (man) - Italy (Campania)

Today, a wasp knocked me out, broke my glasses, and left a gash over my eyebrow. It did so by flying under my glasses while I was playing my guitar, causing me to reflexively bat at it with the hand that was still grasping the guitar neck. FML

#20526426
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19481) - you deserved it (4791) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 02/28/2013 at 8:55pm - health - by JimiHendrix (man) - France (Provence-Alpes-Cote d'Azur)

Today, I got married on Skyrim. To an elf. While in real life, my love life is floundering like a half-dead carp in the surf on a hot day. So much so in fact that I actually draw a measure of comfort from being married to an elf. FML

#20501864
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18546) - you deserved it (7050)

On 02/11/2013 at 2:19am - love - by mr_loveless (man) - United States

Today, I was at church, when my mom's phone went off during the sermon. As if that wasn't humiliating enough for me, her ring tone was set to the Bed Intruder song. FML

#20430388
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20852) - you deserved it (2576)

On 12/29/2012 at 5:33pm - misc - by killme (man) - United States (Maine)



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