Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

TheDeafWalrus

Search for a member

TheDeafWalrus

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 341
  • Number of comments : 18
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About TheDeafWalrus : Christian. JSU. ΣΝ ΙΛ 422. Criminal justice major with concentration in forensic investigations. Chemistry and psychology minor.

TheDeafWalrus's page activity

Visits<b>animalover9</b> - the 05/02/2014 at 11:48pm<b>madisonutecht</b> - the 10/18/2013 at 5:05pm<b>saucyrossi</b> - the 10/01/2013 at 8:51pm<b>Pwn17</b> - the 09/13/2013 at 4:48pm<b>Funnyman324</b> - the 09/13/2013 at 6:24am<b>Danyellstar</b> - the 09/12/2013 at 3:09pm<b>greenie213</b> - the 03/04/2013 at 1:54pm<b>JustAGirlOnFML</b> - the 02/28/2013 at 2:34pm<b>CaptTeemo</b> - the 02/24/2013 at 12:42pm<b>4dycegrl</b> - the 02/24/2013 at 4:06am<b>luebbe</b> - the 02/23/2013 at 1:32am<b>sexxxysydney</b> - the 01/22/2013 at 4:15pm<b>BunchieRules</b> - the 01/14/2013 at 2:08am<b>kansah</b> - the 01/13/2013 at 5:09pm<b>StingRay_RZA</b> - the 01/12/2013 at 6:59pm<b>jessi_sunshine</b> - the 01/11/2013 at 6:29pm<b>Jazzyw1997</b> - the 01/11/2013 at 5:49pm<b>illmatic2</b> - the 01/11/2013 at 4:07pm

TheDeafWalrus's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

The rules are the rules

Reading the comment rules is a really good idea. This badge is sponsored by our moderating team.

See all of TheDeafWalrus's badges

TheDeafWalrus's favorite FMLs

Today, I was at the doctor's getting a check up. He asked me if I was allergic to anything, to which I blurted out, "Cats." He gave me a weird look and said, "Don't worry, I won't give you cats." FML

#20865755
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39471) - you deserved it (6535)

On 09/03/2013 at 4:17am - health - by NoNotCats =^._.^= (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my husband thought it would be acceptable to watch Breaking Bad on Netflix with my 4-year-old in the room. What happened to be the only line he picked up? "Well heil Hitler, bitch!" I found out from his preschool teacher. FML

#20865525
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41424) - you deserved it (4591)

On 09/03/2013 at 12:13am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I found out that my obese son, who is on a health-mandated diet and exercise plan, gorges on junk food whenever he has the chance. His logic? "It won't make you fatter if you crap it out." FML

#20863945
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40363) - you deserved it (6126)

On 09/02/2013 at 12:16am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I sneezed. My boyfriend told me to shut up. FML

#20555936
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35224) - you deserved it (8963)

On 03/23/2013 at 1:44am - love - by SierraDiaz2097 - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I was making out with my girlfriend, and after a while, she moved her hand down to my crotch. She felt my erection, then got up and yelled at me, calling me a horny pig for "assuming we were going to have sex." FML

#20527203
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61457) - you deserved it (5378)

On 03/01/2013 at 5:54pm - intimacy - by sn-511 (man) - Italy (Campania)

Today, a wasp knocked me out, broke my glasses, and left a gash over my eyebrow. It did so by flying under my glasses while I was playing my guitar, causing me to reflexively bat at it with the hand that was still grasping the guitar neck. FML

#20526426
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24327) - you deserved it (6576) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 02/28/2013 at 8:55pm - health - by JimiHendrix (man) - France (Provence-Alpes-Cote d'Azur)

Today, I got married on Skyrim. To an elf. While in real life, my love life is floundering like a half-dead carp in the surf on a hot day. So much so in fact that I actually draw a measure of comfort from being married to an elf. FML

#20501864
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23538) - you deserved it (9505)

On 02/11/2013 at 2:19am - love - by mr_loveless (man) - United States

Today, I was at church, when my mom's phone went off during the sermon. As if that wasn't humiliating enough for me, her ring tone was set to the Bed Intruder song. FML

#20430388
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25702) - you deserved it (3533)

On 12/29/2012 at 5:33pm - misc - by killme (man) - United States (Maine)



FML's blog

  • Matteor's illustrated FML #2
  • So, is everyone back from their vacation? Can we get back to regular programming? No? OK, I get it. You're all still crying about not being at the beach any more, well, I am anyway. And this time of year…

Thursday 11 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: