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TheDarkNinja's favorite FMLs
by ihatejasonderulo / 09/02/2014 at 11:32am / United Kingdom (Hounslow) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 06/25/2014 at 7:38pm / Canada (Nova Scotia) / Love
by fredfredburger / 06/25/2014 at 1:45pm / United States (Missouri) / Love
by stopinthenameoflove / 06/19/2014 at 10:37am / Ireland (Dublin) / Love
by damn it rose / 05/31/2014 at 9:40am / United Kingdom (Derby) / Love
Today, it's my first day working the graveyard shift at a local hotel. My new boss thought it would be hilarious to sneak up behind me while dressed like the Grim Reaper. I screamed like a little girl and soaked my pants. Apparently he does this to all the new people. FML
by Anonymous / 05/04/2014 at 5:07pm / Czech Republic (Hlavni mesto Praha) / Work
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex and in the heat of the moment I cried out for him to go harder. He had an exasperated expression on his face, and in an adamantly offended tone he said, "Don't tell me what to do." Then he stopped and left the room. FML
by belljars / 04/17/2014 at 10:27pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, I was at a wedding reception with loud music. A guy told me that his sister couldn't be there because she "went home to be with her boy." I said, "That's too bad, she's missing a great party." He paused and repeated, "She went home to be with her LORD." FML
by Anonymous / 03/31/2014 at 12:43am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
Today, my boyfriend made me sit in his kitchen while he Skyped his mother because he doesn't "feel ready" to tell her he has a girlfriend. He's 23, lives on a different continent and has been dating me for over 6 months. FML
by haztod / 03/30/2014 at 5:52pm / United Kingdom (Edinburgh, City of) / Love
Today, my friends hired a male stripper to give me a lap dance for my birthday. It was all pretty nice until he let rip one of the most nauseating farts I've ever encountered, right in my face. Hours later, I can still smell it. FML
by polebitch49 / 03/14/2014 at 4:45pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
Today, I watched my daughter squealing with delight in front of a video game. Beating a boss? Slaying an adversary? Completing a quest? Not at all. She was chasing birds, making them fly away, then starting all over again as soon as they landed. She's 19. FML
by melimelo24 / 03/13/2014 at 5:33am / Australia (Victoria) / Kids
by fuck off, eh! / 03/07/2014 at 4:25pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
by Tara115 / 02/09/2014 at 2:20am / Canada (British Columbia) / Love
by gottacatchemall / 01/08/2014 at 12:43am / United States / Intimacy
by FMLPLZ / 01/02/2014 at 9:52pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, my parents let me babysit my baby sister for the first time. About an hour after they left,… 2Today, I saw an elderly lady fall over in the street. Nobody bothered to do anything, so I went… 3Today, I was fired for being late to work, even though the only reason I was late was because I had…
- Today, on my way home to Bordeaux after a weekend in Paris, I had the pleasure of being sat next to… Today, I’m teaching French in a university in India. One of the students asked me if Paris was the… Today, my boyfriend whispered to me, “I’m so tired of these fucking mosquitos.” When I asked why he…