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TheCutestLizard

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TheCutestLizard

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 988
  • Number of comments : 86
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About TheCutestLizard : null

TheCutestLizard's page activity

Visits<b>ShitHappen</b> - the 11/29/2014 at 10:08am<b>seninaa</b> - the 11/28/2014 at 8:34am<b>DaggNabbit</b> - the 11/28/2014 at 7:59am<b>XXFMLXXQUEENXX</b> - the 11/26/2014 at 11:17am<b>Inediblepeaches</b> - the 11/19/2014 at 9:05pm<b>kinzopinzi</b> - the 11/19/2014 at 4:37pm<b>Striker_Jr</b> - the 11/18/2014 at 10:23pm<b>jimmer23</b> - the 11/17/2014 at 11:43am<b>anormalperson</b> - the 11/12/2014 at 10:43am<b>giantsfan2010</b> - the 11/09/2014 at 12:35pm<b>klenorris</b> - the 11/04/2014 at 2:23pm<b>beezybaby4714</b> - the 10/31/2014 at 10:40pm<b>Bulldozer36</b> - the 10/21/2014 at 10:52am<b>MARGIE9</b> - the 10/09/2014 at 10:04pm<b>devildog562</b> - the 10/02/2014 at 10:51am<b>Kruitdamp</b> - the 10/02/2014 at 1:50am<b>kitten1800</b> - the 09/28/2014 at 12:50pm<b>jack_jill05</b> - the 09/27/2014 at 3:37pm

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TheCutestLizard's favorite FMLs

Today, I asked my Dad if it was true that my mother had a C-section at my birth. He replied "Yeah, so technically you weren't even born, you were surgically removed, like a tumor." FML

#17638273
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35878) - you deserved it (4500)

On 09/01/2011 at 7:40pm - misc - by mannydanny (woman) - United Kingdom (Coventry)

Today, I had to admit that I'm an alcoholic when I spent my last dollar bills on Southern Comfort instead of tampons. FML

#17579563
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9016) - you deserved it (36494)

On 08/25/2011 at 6:57pm - health - by ash - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I was at Target deciding what chap-stick to get when an old lady violently hit me with her umbrella and kept yelling at me saying, "You are too young for this! Think twice!" FML

#17525385
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27873) - you deserved it (2450)

On 08/20/2011 at 12:44am - misc - by anonymous22kittylicklick (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, a downstairs neighbor of mine claimed money from me because apparently my dog took a dump on the fire escape, and the poop fell through the grates and on her groceries. I don't have a dog, but I paid the money anyway, because I was too ashamed to tell her it was my husband. FML

#17421184
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37405) - you deserved it (8129)

On 08/09/2011 at 6:55pm - animals - by Zoe Avila - United States

Today, I was mugged. The guy mugging me was eating a banana. FML

#15917217
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32902) - you deserved it (6872)

On 04/25/2011 at 8:11am - misc - by wtfisthisworldcomingto -

Today, while discussing having sex for the first time with my boyfriend, I asked what method of birth control we should use. He replied, "Anal." FML

#15627116
290 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46880) - you deserved it (13887)

On 04/03/2011 at 9:46pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I had a 10 hour drive to Las Vegas with only 2 CDs, Taylor Swift and Jason Mraz, and my girlfriend who thinks she's a good singer. FML

#7607342
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36807) - you deserved it (8307)

On 01/27/2010 at 3:35am - misc - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was talking to the guy that has been in love with me for two years. He said "There is a shortage of perfect breasts in the world. It would be a shame to lose yours." He then creepily looked at me and said "It's true." Thanks, Princess Bride, for supplying creepers with material. FML

#6998674
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21751) - you deserved it (4005)

On 12/28/2009 at 7:50pm - love - by creeped (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my mother said she trusted me enough to go with me for my first drive in my new car. As soon as we got in the car, she started hyperventilating and screaming we're going to crash. I didn't even start the engine. FML

#5758309
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33159) - you deserved it (2525)

On 10/10/2009 at 1:53pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (West Berkshire)

Today, I turned 30 years old. My dad, the only living relative I have, gave me a call. Not to wish me a happy birthday, but to tell me about "a hot piece of ass" he nailed at the senior center last night. FML

#2429850
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52917) - you deserved it (2629)

On 05/30/2009 at 11:18am - misc - by willieboom (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I went on a date with a guy for the first time. We went to Starbucks and got coffee. We talked for a while, and we were joking and having a good time. Suddenly, he put his hand on my stomach and said, "Soon, this will be plump with my seed." FML

#836792
930 comments

I agree, your life sucks (355255) - you deserved it (38854)

On 04/06/2009 at 3:39pm - misc - by creepermagnet (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I saw a lesbian couple walking through the mall. One of the ladies walked up to me in the middle of the busy mall and started screaming at me about how rude it is to stare, and how we are all equal- straight or not. I was only staring because I'm a lesbian too, and they were hot. FML

#774931
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (168519) - you deserved it (27395)

On 04/02/2009 at 10:33pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)



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