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TheCutestLizard

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TheCutestLizard

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 852
  • Number of comments : 86
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About TheCutestLizard : null

TheCutestLizard's page activity

Visits<b>MARGIE9</b> - the 10/09/2014 at 10:04pm<b>devildog562</b> - the 10/02/2014 at 10:51am<b>Kruitdamp</b> - the 10/02/2014 at 1:50am<b>kitten1800</b> - the 09/28/2014 at 12:50pm<b>jack_jill05</b> - the 09/27/2014 at 3:37pm<b>Iwtumn</b> - the 09/25/2014 at 10:41pm<b>urdirtyolduncle</b> - the 09/24/2014 at 8:39pm<b>wilburhp</b> - the 09/22/2014 at 2:22am<b>itswhitneybitch</b> - the 09/15/2014 at 1:11am<b>PoisonOrchid</b> - the 08/27/2014 at 8:06am<b>Drizl</b> - the 08/15/2014 at 5:31pm<b>Benjaminkamp</b> - the 08/01/2014 at 12:08pm<b>martin8337</b> - the 07/27/2014 at 8:45pm<b>PresidentNorth</b> - the 07/21/2014 at 9:18am<b>briang959</b> - the 07/20/2014 at 1:13am<b>TheNiceOne</b> - the 07/05/2014 at 10:02am<b>Wizardo</b> - the 06/28/2014 at 2:39pm<b>PapaSmash</b> - the 06/21/2014 at 7:33pm

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TheCutestLizard's favorite FMLs

Today, my 14-year-old daughter came home after sneaking out and partying. She was totally drunk, and started crying on my shoulder because some boy named "Thomas" has a small dick, and she had to fake an orgasm. FML

#20419819
270 comments

I agree, your life sucks (80172) - you deserved it (24600)

On 12/24/2012 at 10:03pm - intimacy - by valnaj1 (woman) - Denmark (Syddanmark)

Today, I was told that my insurance will no longer cover my birth control as it's deemed "unnecessary" for a man, which, according to them, I've been since August. I'm definitely still a woman. FML

Today, my boyfriend and I got into an argument; however, his new-found passion for hardcore rapping meant that he tried to "diss" me using bad rhymes and ill thought-out putdowns. It was ridiculous, and didn't really make any sense, so I started giggling. He stormed off, grumbling. FML

#20089229
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18977) - you deserved it (2379)

On 09/26/2012 at 5:06am - love - by Popscene (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I choked on a gummy bear and ended up in the emergency room. The first thing the doctor said to me was, "Well, that must have been 'beary' uncomfortable." The entire room burst into laughter. FML

#19222956
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25195) - you deserved it (7718)

On 03/05/2012 at 7:43pm - health - by Kayla - United States

Today, I fell and sprained my ankle while trying to step into my underwear. FML

#18904758
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24813) - you deserved it (5914)

On 01/25/2012 at 1:32am - health - by ???? - United States

Today, it's been three days since my husband got into free-jazz. He plays all the time in our small apartment. Loud. It's like listening to three guys build a shed for 10 giant angry wasps. FML

#18387801
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18621) - you deserved it (2341)

On 11/29/2011 at 8:53pm - misc - by Geraldine - Canada (Yukon Territory)

Today, I found pictures in my boyfriend's phone of our dog eating treats out of my mouth while I'm sleeping. FML

#18242868
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30883) - you deserved it (4169)

On 11/14/2011 at 12:09am - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, the new office IT guy figured the best way to get the virus off my computer was to wipe my entire hard drive. He was kind enough to back my data up and restore everything from the backups. Including the virus. FML

#17803307
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25973) - you deserved it (2271)

On 09/22/2011 at 8:06am - work - by Soopa-Genius (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I asked my Dad if it was true that my mother had a C-section at my birth. He replied "Yeah, so technically you weren't even born, you were surgically removed, like a tumor." FML

#17638273
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34894) - you deserved it (4403)

On 09/01/2011 at 7:40pm - misc - by mannydanny (woman) - United Kingdom (Coventry)

Today, I had to admit that I'm an alcoholic when I spent my last dollar bills on Southern Comfort instead of tampons. FML

#17579563
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8997) - you deserved it (36424)

On 08/25/2011 at 6:57pm - health - by ash - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I was at Target deciding what chap-stick to get when an old lady violently hit me with her umbrella and kept yelling at me saying, "You are too young for this! Think twice!" FML

#17525385
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27825) - you deserved it (2441)

On 08/20/2011 at 12:44am - misc - by anonymous22kittylicklick (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, a downstairs neighbor of mine claimed money from me because apparently my dog took a dump on the fire escape, and the poop fell through the grates and on her groceries. I don't have a dog, but I paid the money anyway, because I was too ashamed to tell her it was my husband. FML

#17421184
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37325) - you deserved it (8122)

On 08/09/2011 at 6:55pm - animals - by Zoe Avila - United States

Today, I was mugged. The guy mugging me was eating a banana. FML

#15917217
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32615) - you deserved it (6836)

On 04/25/2011 at 8:11am - misc - by wtfisthisworldcomingto -

Today, while discussing having sex for the first time with my boyfriend, I asked what method of birth control we should use. He replied, "Anal." FML

#15627116
290 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46817) - you deserved it (13869)

On 04/03/2011 at 9:46pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was talking to the guy that has been in love with me for two years. He said "There is a shortage of perfect breasts in the world. It would be a shame to lose yours." He then creepily looked at me and said "It's true." Thanks, Princess Bride, for supplying creepers with material. FML

#6998674
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21700) - you deserved it (3999)

On 12/28/2009 at 7:50pm - love - by creeped (woman) - United States (Ohio)



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