TheCutestLizard

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TheCutestLizard

10Fucked!

TheCutestLizardTheCutestLizard
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2459
  • Number of comments : 120
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About TheCutestLizard : 33. I think I'm pretty great.

TheCutestLizard's page activity

Visits<b>Shadowvoid</b> - the 08/22/2016 at 11:30pm<b>DeadIllusion</b> - the 08/22/2016 at 2:16pm<b>torrea</b> - the 08/18/2016 at 6:35pm<b>Oliveisthenewora</b> - the 08/14/2016 at 3:45am<b>hobojoe154</b> - the 08/13/2016 at 7:27pm<b>MegasaurusRex89</b> - the 08/10/2016 at 2:12pm<b>Diamond_don</b> - the 08/08/2016 at 12:25am<b>hoponpip</b> - the 08/07/2016 at 11:41am<b>wissx</b> - the 08/04/2016 at 11:48pm<b>Calarel_bones</b> - the 08/03/2016 at 9:50am<b>Mons</b> - the 08/02/2016 at 10:05am<b>Supermanjh93</b> - the 07/31/2016 at 12:36pm<b>KayPlay</b> - the 07/31/2016 at 1:17am<b>DeliMeat08</b> - the 07/30/2016 at 7:54pm<b>Malikir</b> - the 07/30/2016 at 8:12am<b>Toonice45</b> - the 07/30/2016 at 4:54am<b>Willman757</b> - the 07/29/2016 at 10:41pm<b>seeoseek</b> - the 07/29/2016 at 3:36am

Fucked!<b>hobojoe154</b> - the 08/13/2016 at 4:26am<b>Supermanjh93</b> - the 07/30/2016 at 8:54pm<b>seeoseek</b> - the 07/29/2016 at 9:37am<b>Toonice45</b> - the 07/23/2016 at 7:43pm<b>samwilliams800</b> - the 07/07/2016 at 3:11pm<b>Moskaaa7</b> - the 01/19/2016 at 3:06pm<b>the_aspect</b> - the 10/31/2015 at 1:01pm<b>beeferjay</b> - the 10/31/2015 at 5:10am

TheCutestLizard's FML badges

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

See all of TheCutestLizard's badges

TheCutestLizard's favorite FMLs

Today, as I was closing up at my sandwich-making job when a huge bus full of basic, snobby, preppy cheerleaders came in. They literally "can't even" decide what they want. FML

by ironfey / 03/20/2015 at 11:38pm / United States (Virginia) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I disproved a scientific theory created by my supervisor. He was furious and said that I shouldn't have tried to disprove him. He told me to continue working with his theory and now he threatens to fire me if I publish my work. FML

by ZG_Rules / 03/20/2015 at 10:38am / Netherlands (Gelderland) / Work

Today, I baked a cake for when my mum came home. I did everything I needed to do and put it in the oven, set the timer and went to do some things around the house. When my mum came home, she asked why there was a uncooked cake mix sitting in the oven. I forgot to turn the oven on. FML

by non-baker / 03/17/2015 at 10:12pm / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was told that I need to learn to "let things go" by a woman who held a four-month grudge over a ham sandwich. FML

by NoHamForMeThanks / 03/08/2015 at 10:36pm / United States (Tennessee) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. I'm extremely uncomfortable with eye contact, but he kept staring into my eyes the entire time. I had to sing the F.U.N. song from Spongebob in my head to stop myself having an anxiety attack. FML

by jessybear777 / 02/14/2015 at 10:41pm / United States (Missouri) / Intimacy

Today, I found out that honestly answering "yes" to "Are Kate Upton's boobs bigger than mine?" is in my girlfriend's mind the equivalent of saying I don't find her attractive anymore and that I want to break up with her to date a supermodel. FML

by StrawHatBill / 02/13/2015 at 9:54am / United States / Love

Today, I slept on the plane ride home and had a scary nightmare. I started screaming in my dream, so loud that it shocked the old lady sitting next to me into screaming as well. The whole plane began laughing as we were both screaming. FML

Today, as I walked into McDonald's with my mom, she glanced at me and said, "Smells like your future." FML

by anonymous / 12/24/2014 at 6:56pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my mother-in-law gave me a toaster and a fork as a wedding gift. FML

by monster in law. / 12/17/2014 at 2:35am / United States / Love

Today, my classmate commented on how quiet I am. I responded with, "Well, nobody plots murder out loud," trying to be funny. My teacher tried to get me arrested. FML

by justjoking / 12/16/2014 at 8:54pm / United States / Work

Today, my family got into a massive argument about whether or not battery-operated toothbrushes are considered electric toothbrushes. Everyone is in their own room and refuses to talk to each other. FML

by thechaos / 12/15/2014 at 5:24pm / United States (Maine) / Intimacy

Today, I woke up from a wet dream. My girlfriend quickly figured it out and bitched me out for having one when she was "right there" for me to ask for sex. Logic failure aside, the last time I flirted with her, she called me a sex-obsessed pig and didn't talk to me for three days. FML

by unlovedandunfucked / 12/10/2014 at 1:16pm / Australia (Victoria) / Intimacy

Today, I was shopping when a woman stopped me and asked me what lipgloss I was wearing because my lips looked gorgeous. I had to explain to her it was just the grease from the Slim Jim I had just eaten. FML

by Anonymos_fmler / 10/20/2014 at 8:38pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, near the end end of my shift as a bartender, a drunk man stumbled into my bar, got upset because I refused to serve him, puked into my tip jar, then offered me half a pack of cigarettes in exchange for sex. FML

by Bartender / 10/20/2014 at 5:04pm / United States (Minnesota) / Work

Today, I went on a blind date. My date would respond to me by saying "retweet" and "favorite" when she thought something was relatable. FML

by clairebear104 / 09/18/2014 at 11:15pm / United States (Kentucky) / Love