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TheCutestLizard

Offline (the 02/02/2016 at 1:56am) | Search for a member

TheCutestLizard

3Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1950
  • Number of comments : 94
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About TheCutestLizard : null

TheCutestLizard's page activity

Visits<b>MostafaH</b> - the 01/28/2016 at 7:25am<b>Syruphs</b> - the 01/26/2016 at 7:08pm<b>MyrmidonQueenn01</b> - the 01/25/2016 at 2:42pm<b>zainman13</b> - the 01/20/2016 at 12:18am<b>Moskaaa7</b> - the 01/19/2016 at 9:06am<b>mbdresnick</b> - the 01/18/2016 at 9:44pm<b>Y0UI34574RD</b> - the 01/17/2016 at 3:11am<b>missmorggan</b> - the 01/16/2016 at 8:33am<b>guttedbrit</b> - the 01/08/2016 at 6:06pm<b>colder13</b> - the 01/08/2016 at 4:57pm<b>RedRiolu</b> - the 01/06/2016 at 5:56pm<b>Jowisee</b> - the 01/06/2016 at 5:51pm<b>Iwtumn</b> - the 01/06/2016 at 1:04pm<b>nickie_94</b> - the 01/03/2016 at 3:51pm<b>pasupathymuthu</b> - the 01/02/2016 at 2:42pm<b>snowkittyyy</b> - the 01/01/2016 at 9:34am<b>lainlain</b> - the 12/30/2015 at 1:52am<b>Princess_Eevee9</b> - the 12/29/2015 at 10:46pm

Fucked!<b>Moskaaa7</b> - the 01/19/2016 at 3:06pm<b>the_aspect</b> - the 10/31/2015 at 1:01pm<b>beeferjay</b> - the 10/31/2015 at 5:10am

TheCutestLizard's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of TheCutestLizard's badges

TheCutestLizard's favorite FMLs

Today, as I was closing up at my sandwich-making job when a huge bus full of basic, snobby, preppy cheerleaders came in. They literally "can't even" decide what they want. FML

Today, I disproved a scientific theory created by my supervisor. He was furious and said that I shouldn't have tried to disprove him. He told me to continue working with his theory and now he threatens to fire me if I publish my work. FML

#21378331
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32923) - you deserved it (2846)

On 03/20/2015 at 10:38am - work - by ZG_Rules (man) - Netherlands (Gelderland)

Today, I baked a cake for when my mum came home. I did everything I needed to do and put it in the oven, set the timer and went to do some things around the house. When my mum came home, she asked why there was a uncooked cake mix sitting in the oven. I forgot to turn the oven on. FML

#21376702
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27601) - you deserved it (8555)

On 03/17/2015 at 10:12pm - misc - by non-baker - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was told that I need to learn to "let things go" by a woman who held a four-month grudge over a ham sandwich. FML

#21370791
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28746) - you deserved it (2481)

On 03/08/2015 at 10:36pm - misc - by NoHamForMeThanks - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. I'm extremely uncomfortable with eye contact, but he kept staring into my eyes the entire time. I had to sing the F.U.N. song from Spongebob in my head to stop myself having an anxiety attack. FML

#21356336
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41002) - you deserved it (6125)

On 02/14/2015 at 10:41pm - intimacy - by jessybear777 - United States (Missouri)

Today, I found out that honestly answering "yes" to "Are Kate Upton's boobs bigger than mine?" is in my girlfriend's mind the equivalent of saying I don't find her attractive anymore and that I want to break up with her to date a supermodel. FML

#21355268
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30593) - you deserved it (8086)

On 02/13/2015 at 9:54am - love - by StrawHatBill (man) - United States

Today, I slept on the plane ride home and had a scary nightmare. I started screaming in my dream, so loud that it shocked the old lady sitting next to me into screaming as well. The whole plane began laughing as we were both screaming. FML

Today, as I walked into McDonald's with my mom, she glanced at me and said, "Smells like your future." FML

#21323487
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31415) - you deserved it (3793)

On 12/24/2014 at 6:56pm - misc - by anonymous - United States

Today, my mother-in-law gave me a toaster and a fork as a wedding gift. FML

#21318970
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34467) - you deserved it (3268)

On 12/17/2014 at 2:35am - love - by monster in law. - United States

Today, my classmate commented on how quiet I am. I responded with, "Well, nobody plots murder out loud," trying to be funny. My teacher tried to get me arrested. FML

#21318752
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37856) - you deserved it (7421)

On 12/16/2014 at 8:54pm - work - by justjoking - United States

Today, my family got into a massive argument about whether or not battery-operated toothbrushes are considered electric toothbrushes. Everyone is in their own room and refuses to talk to each other. FML

#21318050
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34857) - you deserved it (4070)

On 12/15/2014 at 5:24pm - intimacy - by thechaos (man) - United States (Maine)

Today, I woke up from a wet dream. My girlfriend quickly figured it out and bitched me out for having one when she was "right there" for me to ask for sex. Logic failure aside, the last time I flirted with her, she called me a sex-obsessed pig and didn't talk to me for three days. FML

#21315008
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40566) - you deserved it (4340)

On 12/10/2014 at 1:16pm - intimacy - by unlovedandunfucked (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was shopping when a woman stopped me and asked me what lipgloss I was wearing because my lips looked gorgeous. I had to explain to her it was just the grease from the Slim Jim I had just eaten. FML

#21281977
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32290) - you deserved it (5098)

On 10/20/2014 at 8:38pm - misc - by Anonymos_fmler - United States (Illinois)

Today, near the end end of my shift as a bartender, a drunk man stumbled into my bar, got upset because I refused to serve him, puked into my tip jar, then offered me half a pack of cigarettes in exchange for sex. FML

#21281851
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33917) - you deserved it (2498)

On 10/20/2014 at 5:04pm - work - by Bartender - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I went on a blind date. My date would respond to me by saying "retweet" and "favorite" when she thought something was relatable. FML

#21261017
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44329) - you deserved it (3963)

On 09/18/2014 at 11:15pm - love - by clairebear104 - United States (Kentucky)



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