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TheCutestLizard

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TheCutestLizard

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1466
  • Number of comments : 90
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About TheCutestLizard : null

TheCutestLizard's page activity

Visits<b>melisssa87</b> - 20 hours ago<b>jonathan7777</b> - the 07/24/2015 at 10:03pm<b>HarryHirsch</b> - the 07/03/2015 at 8:08am<b>Jeromiah</b> - the 06/21/2015 at 11:29pm<b>vikky538</b> - the 06/03/2015 at 7:33am<b>sdroze1389</b> - the 05/26/2015 at 9:08pm<b>Nadron</b> - the 05/26/2015 at 8:40pm<b>keithsbooty</b> - the 05/06/2015 at 2:18pm<b>ectstrigger</b> - the 05/02/2015 at 12:50pm<b>Bulldozer36</b> - the 04/12/2015 at 8:56pm<b>abNormal62</b> - the 04/11/2015 at 10:30am<b>EmmaRey</b> - the 04/11/2015 at 10:00am<b>J352SAURUS</b> - the 04/05/2015 at 9:53pm<b>annarcheer</b> - the 03/27/2015 at 4:06pm<b>badluckalex</b> - the 03/16/2015 at 2:00pm<b>amandalynn84</b> - the 02/19/2015 at 11:10pm<b>senpai_kush</b> - the 01/22/2015 at 3:25pm<b>origamidragon</b> - the 01/14/2015 at 10:45pm

TheCutestLizard's FML badges

Inception

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The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

See all of TheCutestLizard's badges

TheCutestLizard's favorite FMLs

Today, my ex-boyfriend dumped sand into the crankcase of my truck and then filled it to the top with water after I dumped him for being immature and not respecting my things. FML

#21427999
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29191) - you deserved it (2996)

On 06/18/2015 at 8:36am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I finally confronted my mom about how I felt about her three divorces. She then explained that she went through the divorces because I failed to keep the house clean. FML

#21425930
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24727) - you deserved it (2169)

On 06/14/2015 at 1:06pm - misc - by lulumars (woman) - United States

Today, I'm warning you: never spoon naked with your girlfriend after eating taco bell. The shartpocalypse just might begin in her ass and end on your stomach. FML

#21420039
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29462) - you deserved it (3954)

On 06/03/2015 at 1:01am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, one of my tires blew out on the highway. I managed to slow down and pull over without dying, and went to get my spare tire. I found it right where it was supposed to be, knifed to hell and with a taunting note from my psycho ex taped to it. We broke up nearly 3 years ago. FML

#21419681
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28072) - you deserved it (2760)

On 06/02/2015 at 12:50pm - misc - by Milo (man) - Mexico (Distrito Federal)

Today, I was riding my newly trained horse. I've recently been suffering from bad gas, and ended up farting so violently, it spooked my horse into bucking me off and running away. FML

#21419654
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23880) - you deserved it (4594)

On 06/02/2015 at 11:23am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I got hit on by an attractive young doctor. After talking for a while we realized that we recognized each other but couldn't figure out how. Then he remembered. He was the one who'd delivered my 10 1/2 lb baby 7 months ago. I stood out because my vag tore worse than anything he'd ever seen. FML

Today, I had a plan. I was going to get up early, eat a well balanced breakfast, put on my workout clothes and enjoy this beautiful day with a fulfilling jog. Instead, I put on my workout clothes, spent hours on social media, ate a pizza and ended up falling asleep on my coach. FML

#21406331
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17279) - you deserved it (25335)

On 05/07/2015 at 5:43pm - money - by NevertheKool (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, at my job in a gas station, a customer who had previously driven off without paying came in to shout abuse at me because I had said in the police statement, "He looks about 60." He is apparently 55. He didn't come in to pay, he came in to swear at me. FML

#21404993
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29832) - you deserved it (1846)

On 05/05/2015 at 6:50am - work - by GotGasNotLuck (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, while riding the subway a homeless man got on asking for money. I went to give him a dollar but he refused because I was "of the Asian persuasion." FML

#21404625
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26701) - you deserved it (2074)

On 05/04/2015 at 5:02pm - misc - by Malíya - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I took my 5-year-old daughter to the play place at McDonalds but I had to keep her busy, instead of letting her play. A mom was teaching her 3-year-old daughter how to pole dance, using the play place's poles. FML

#21393641
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29185) - you deserved it (2422)

On 04/14/2015 at 5:17pm - kids - by Pandistoteles - United States

Today, my school had to make an official announcement that students were not permitted to go home due to Zayn Malik leaving One Direction because so many girls were claiming they couldn't focus on school with such a dramatic event occurring. FML

#21381783
255 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39242) - you deserved it (3377)

On 03/26/2015 at 9:20am - work - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, as I was closing up at my sandwich-making job when a huge bus full of basic, snobby, preppy cheerleaders came in. They literally "can't even" decide what they want. FML

Today, I disproved a scientific theory created by my supervisor. He was furious and said that I shouldn't have tried to disprove him. He told me to continue working with his theory and now he threatens to fire me if I publish my work. FML

#21378331
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (516) - you deserved it (2220)

On 03/20/2015 at 10:38am - work - by ZG_Rules (man) - Netherlands (Gelderland)

Today, I baked a cake for when my mum came home. I did everything I needed to do and put it in the oven, set the timer and went to do some things around the house. When my mum came home, she asked why there was a uncooked cake mix sitting in the oven. I forgot to turn the oven on. FML

#21376702
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26818) - you deserved it (8334)

On 03/17/2015 at 10:12pm - misc - by non-baker - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was told that I need to learn to "let things go" by a woman who held a four-month grudge over a ham sandwich. FML

#21370791
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27034) - you deserved it (2146)

On 03/08/2015 at 10:36pm - misc - by NoHamForMeThanks - United States (Tennessee)



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