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TheCutestLizard

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TheCutestLizard

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1078
  • Number of comments : 86
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About TheCutestLizard : null

TheCutestLizard's page activity

Visits<b>senpai_kush</b> - the 01/22/2015 at 3:25pm<b>origamidragon</b> - the 01/14/2015 at 10:45pm<b>Tarlachia</b> - the 01/10/2015 at 2:41pm<b>stuckintime</b> - the 01/08/2015 at 8:51pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 12/24/2014 at 5:17pm<b>PerSueTwo513</b> - the 12/21/2014 at 3:09am<b>ShitHappen</b> - the 11/29/2014 at 10:08am<b>seninaa</b> - the 11/28/2014 at 8:34am<b>DaggNabbit</b> - the 11/28/2014 at 7:59am<b>XXFMLXXQUEENXX</b> - the 11/26/2014 at 11:17am<b>Inediblepeaches</b> - the 11/19/2014 at 9:05pm<b>kinzopinzi</b> - the 11/19/2014 at 4:37pm<b>Striker_Jr</b> - the 11/18/2014 at 10:23pm<b>jimmer23</b> - the 11/17/2014 at 11:43am<b>anormalperson</b> - the 11/12/2014 at 10:43am<b>giantsfan2010</b> - the 11/09/2014 at 12:35pm<b>klenorris</b> - the 11/04/2014 at 2:23pm<b>beezybaby4714</b> - the 10/31/2014 at 10:40pm

TheCutestLizard's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

A new Thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

See all of TheCutestLizard's badges

TheCutestLizard's favorite FMLs

Today, I slept on the plane ride home and had a scary nightmare. I started screaming in my dream, so loud that it shocked the old lady sitting next to me into screaming as well. The whole plane began laughing as we were both screaming. FML

Today, as I walked into McDonald's with my mom, she glanced at me and said, "Smells like your future." FML

#21323487
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29091) - you deserved it (3363)

On 12/24/2014 at 6:56pm - misc - by anonymous - United States

Today, my mother-in-law gave me a toaster and a fork as a wedding gift. FML

#21318970
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31672) - you deserved it (2843)

On 12/17/2014 at 2:35am - love - by monster in law. - United States

Today, my classmate commented on how quiet I am. I responded with, "Well, nobody plots murder out loud," trying to be funny. My teacher tried to get me arrested. FML

#21318752
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35065) - you deserved it (6735)

On 12/16/2014 at 8:54pm - work - by justjoking - United States

Today, my family got into a massive argument about whether or not battery-operated toothbrushes are considered electric toothbrushes. Everyone is in their own room and refuses to talk to each other. FML

#21318050
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30158) - you deserved it (3119)

On 12/15/2014 at 5:24pm - intimacy - by thechaos (man) - United States (Maine)

Today, I woke up from a wet dream. My girlfriend quickly figured it out and bitched me out for having one when she was "right there" for me to ask for sex. Logic failure aside, the last time I flirted with her, she called me a sex-obsessed pig and didn't talk to me for three days. FML

#21315008
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35198) - you deserved it (3704)

On 12/10/2014 at 1:16pm - intimacy - by unlovedandunfucked (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, near the end end of my shift as a bartender, a drunk man stumbled into my bar, got upset because I refused to serve him, puked into my tip jar, then offered me half a pack of cigarettes in exchange for sex. FML

#21281851
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30932) - you deserved it (2089)

On 10/20/2014 at 5:04pm - work - by Bartender - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I went on a blind date. My date would respond to me by saying "retweet" and "favorite" when she thought something was relatable. FML

#21261017
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40501) - you deserved it (3524)

On 09/18/2014 at 11:15pm - love - by clairebear104 - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I was going for my morning walk, when a guy in a massive truck drove up beside me, with a kid no more than 4 riding shotgun. I lost my faith in humanity when his tiny voice yelled through the window, "Nice ass!" FML

#21257417
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40398) - you deserved it (4416)

On 09/13/2014 at 10:39am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I'm staying with my grandma and her older sister while my parents are away. It's been two hours and so far they've popped vicodins, talked about banging Alex Trebek, and had a farting contest. FML

#21253639
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35540) - you deserved it (3947)

On 09/07/2014 at 11:11am - misc - by imgonnadie (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was excited to receive a rejection letter, because this was the first company to even acknowledge that I sent them a resume. FML

#21243040
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40190) - you deserved it (2742)

On 08/22/2014 at 9:14am - work - by Beeky (woman) - United States (Montana)

Today, I got a call from my very drunk boyfriend at 1:30am asking for my permission to have sex with a "gross fat chick" he met at a pub, because he "felt sorry for her". The conversation ended with me getting hung up on because I "don't have a heart". FML

#21232277
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48428) - you deserved it (4553)

On 08/08/2014 at 2:05am - intimacy - by pocketrocket90 (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I went to a comedy show with my mom, and they asked the audience members to yell out their problems as ideas for an improv skit. My mom yelled, "My daughter can't get a boyfriend!" FML

#21222137
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44381) - you deserved it (4500)

On 07/27/2014 at 2:44pm - misc - by Yeppets (woman) - United States

Today, I heard my son say, "I don't want any bacon with my eggs". Where did I go wrong? FML

#21187679
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52248) - you deserved it (16876)

On 06/25/2014 at 8:30am - kids - by failed dad (man) - Greece (Attiki)

Today, while working at Home Depot, a customer tried to engage me in a conversation about which gardening tool would "hypothetically" be the best to kill his wife with. FML

#21132614
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43077) - you deserved it (3490)

On 05/06/2014 at 6:47pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Nevada)



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