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TheCutestLizard

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TheCutestLizard

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1312
  • Number of comments : 90
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About TheCutestLizard : null

TheCutestLizard's page activity

Visits<b>ectstrigger</b> - yesterday at 12:50pm<b>Bulldozer36</b> - the 04/12/2015 at 8:56pm<b>abNormal62</b> - the 04/11/2015 at 10:30am<b>EmmaRey</b> - the 04/11/2015 at 10:00am<b>J352SAURUS</b> - the 04/05/2015 at 9:53pm<b>annarcheer</b> - the 03/27/2015 at 4:06pm<b>badluckalex</b> - the 03/16/2015 at 2:00pm<b>amandalynn84</b> - the 02/19/2015 at 11:10pm<b>senpai_kush</b> - the 01/22/2015 at 3:25pm<b>origamidragon</b> - the 01/14/2015 at 10:45pm<b>Tarlachia</b> - the 01/10/2015 at 2:41pm<b>stuckintime</b> - the 01/08/2015 at 8:51pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 12/24/2014 at 5:17pm<b>PerSueTwo513</b> - the 12/21/2014 at 3:09am<b>ShitHappen</b> - the 11/29/2014 at 10:08am<b>seninaa</b> - the 11/28/2014 at 8:34am<b>DaggNabbit</b> - the 11/28/2014 at 7:59am<b>XXFMLXXQUEENXX</b> - the 11/26/2014 at 11:17am

TheCutestLizard's FML badges

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

See all of TheCutestLizard's badges

TheCutestLizard's favorite FMLs

Today, I took my 5-year-old daughter to the play place at McDonalds but I had to keep her busy, instead of letting her play. A mom was teaching her 3-year-old daughter how to pole dance, using the play place's poles. FML

#21393641
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28466) - you deserved it (2209)

On 04/14/2015 at 5:17pm - kids - by Pandistoteles - United States

Today, my school had to make an official announcement that students were not permitted to go home due to Zayn Malik leaving One Direction because so many girls were claiming they couldn't focus on school with such a dramatic event occurring. FML

#21381783
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38217) - you deserved it (3123)

On 03/26/2015 at 9:20am - work - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, as I was closing up at my sandwich-making job when a huge bus full of basic, snobby, preppy cheerleaders came in. They literally "can't even" decide what they want. FML

Today, I disproved a scientific theory created by my supervisor. He was furious and said that I shouldn't have tried to disprove him. He told me to continue working with his theory and now he threatens to fire me if I publish my work. FML

#21378331
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (444) - you deserved it (2197)

On 03/20/2015 at 10:38am - work - by ZG_Rules (man) - Netherlands (Gelderland)

Today, I baked a cake for when my mum came home. I did everything I needed to do and put it in the oven, set the timer and went to do some things around the house. When my mum came home, she asked why there was a uncooked cake mix sitting in the oven. I forgot to turn the oven on. FML

#21376702
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25912) - you deserved it (7902)

On 03/17/2015 at 10:12pm - misc - by non-baker - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was told that I need to learn to "let things go" by a woman who held a four-month grudge over a ham sandwich. FML

#21370791
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26982) - you deserved it (2143)

On 03/08/2015 at 10:36pm - misc - by NoHamForMeThanks - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. I'm extremely uncomfortable with eye contact, but he kept staring into my eyes the entire time. I had to sing the F.U.N. song from Spongebob in my head to stop myself having an anxiety attack. FML

#21356336
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36562) - you deserved it (5085)

On 02/14/2015 at 10:41pm - intimacy - by jessybear777 - United States (Missouri)

Today, I found out that honestly answering "yes" to "Are Kate Upton's boobs bigger than mine?" is in my girlfriend's mind the equivalent of saying I don't find her attractive anymore and that I want to break up with her to date a supermodel. FML

#21355268
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27932) - you deserved it (7145)

On 02/13/2015 at 9:54am - love - by StrawHatBill (man) - United States

Today, I slept on the plane ride home and had a scary nightmare. I started screaming in my dream, so loud that it shocked the old lady sitting next to me into screaming as well. The whole plane began laughing as we were both screaming. FML

Today, as I walked into McDonald's with my mom, she glanced at me and said, "Smells like your future." FML

#21323487
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29734) - you deserved it (3625)

On 12/24/2014 at 6:56pm - misc - by anonymous - United States

Today, my mother-in-law gave me a toaster and a fork as a wedding gift. FML

#21318970
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31783) - you deserved it (2849)

On 12/17/2014 at 2:35am - love - by monster in law. - United States

Today, my classmate commented on how quiet I am. I responded with, "Well, nobody plots murder out loud," trying to be funny. My teacher tried to get me arrested. FML

#21318752
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35170) - you deserved it (6745)

On 12/16/2014 at 8:54pm - work - by justjoking - United States

Today, my family got into a massive argument about whether or not battery-operated toothbrushes are considered electric toothbrushes. Everyone is in their own room and refuses to talk to each other. FML

#21318050
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30630) - you deserved it (3153)

On 12/15/2014 at 5:24pm - intimacy - by thechaos (man) - United States (Maine)

Today, I woke up from a wet dream. My girlfriend quickly figured it out and bitched me out for having one when she was "right there" for me to ask for sex. Logic failure aside, the last time I flirted with her, she called me a sex-obsessed pig and didn't talk to me for three days. FML

#21315008
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37530) - you deserved it (4020)

On 12/10/2014 at 1:16pm - intimacy - by unlovedandunfucked (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, near the end end of my shift as a bartender, a drunk man stumbled into my bar, got upset because I refused to serve him, puked into my tip jar, then offered me half a pack of cigarettes in exchange for sex. FML

#21281851
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32319) - you deserved it (2379)

On 10/20/2014 at 5:04pm - work - by Bartender - United States (Minnesota)



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