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TheCutestLizard

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TheCutestLizard

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 698
  • Number of comments : 83
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About TheCutestLizard : MyAdultPlayground.com

facebook.com/myadultplayground

TheCutestLizard's page activity

Visits<b>gis0392</b> - 4 hours ago<b>PresidentNorth</b> - the 07/21/2014 at 9:18am<b>briang959</b> - the 07/20/2014 at 1:13am<b>TheNiceOne</b> - the 07/05/2014 at 10:02am<b>Wizardo</b> - the 06/28/2014 at 2:39pm<b>PapaSmash</b> - the 06/21/2014 at 7:33pm<b>WiseGuy79</b> - the 06/09/2014 at 6:58pm<b>buckdharma</b> - the 06/08/2014 at 2:24pm<b>z0mBi3kiTTy</b> - the 06/08/2014 at 11:49am<b>ihelent</b> - the 06/06/2014 at 12:27am<b>awesomepantTamia</b> - the 06/04/2014 at 6:33pm<b>ironfey</b> - the 06/04/2014 at 4:36pm<b>LeoChen</b> - the 06/03/2014 at 6:52am<b>rosco98</b> - the 06/02/2014 at 6:00pm<b>i_wuz_nver_here</b> - the 05/24/2014 at 11:46am<b>theonecasey</b> - the 05/24/2014 at 9:26am<b>nlm92</b> - the 05/22/2014 at 5:37am<b>SundayNightSix</b> - the 05/18/2014 at 1:49am

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TheCutestLizard's favorite FMLs

Today, I heard my son say, "I don't want any bacon with my eggs". Where did I go wrong? FML

#21187679
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51249) - you deserved it (16387)

On 06/25/2014 at 8:30am - kids - by failed dad (man) - Greece (Attiki)

Today, while working at Home Depot, a customer tried to engage me in a conversation about which gardening tool would "hypothetically" be the best to kill his wife with. FML

#21132614
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42203) - you deserved it (3429)

On 05/06/2014 at 6:47pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, while driving, I saw a dog run across the road. Feeling sorry for the pup on a cold, rainy night, I pulled my car over to pick it up. Once in, it started freaking out so I turned on the light. It was then that I realized I'd just put a wild coyote on my passenger seat. FML

Today, after my car being in the shop for over a day and with no updates from the dealership, I decided to pay them a visit. The place was almost empty, and they hadn't done any work on my car. But judging by the used condom on my back seat, somebody got their own oil checked. FML

#21053684
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42307) - you deserved it (3496)

On 02/07/2014 at 7:28pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, it was my first day at my new job. Not only does everyone hate me for replacing a guy they all liked, I managed to clog the only functional toilet there. The glares and threatening head-shaking they keep doing probably means I'm screwed. FML

#21023700
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38205) - you deserved it (5029)

On 01/10/2014 at 4:46pm - work - by shite (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I asked my husband to try a little foreplay for once, instead of just rushing into sex. His idea of foreplay was to sweetly whisper that he was going to "penis" me so hard. That's the first time I've heard the word "penis" used as a verb, and hopefully the last. FML

#21007475
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44625) - you deserved it (5003)

On 12/27/2013 at 5:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I finally password-protected my phone, to protect it from my friends' favorite game: stealing it and sending stupid texts, and hijacking my Facebook. They quickly found a new game. My phone is now locked for 24 hours due to too many attempts to guess the password. FML

#20970108
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39998) - you deserved it (6651)

On 11/25/2013 at 12:06pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, my 14-year-old daughter came home after sneaking out and partying. She was totally drunk, and started crying on my shoulder because some boy named "Thomas" has a small dick, and she had to fake an orgasm. FML

#20419819
271 comments

I agree, your life sucks (76578) - you deserved it (23258)

On 12/24/2012 at 10:03pm - intimacy - by valnaj1 (woman) - Denmark (Syddanmark)

Today, I was told that my insurance will no longer cover my birth control as it's deemed "unnecessary" for a man, which, according to them, I've been since August. I'm definitely still a woman. FML

Today, my boyfriend and I got into an argument; however, his new-found passion for hardcore rapping meant that he tried to "diss" me using bad rhymes and ill thought-out putdowns. It was ridiculous, and didn't really make any sense, so I started giggling. He stormed off, grumbling. FML

#20089229
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17407) - you deserved it (2226)

On 09/26/2012 at 5:06am - love - by Popscene (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I choked on a gummy bear and ended up in the emergency room. The first thing the doctor said to me was, "Well, that must have been 'beary' uncomfortable." The entire room burst into laughter. FML

#19222956
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23828) - you deserved it (7512)

On 03/05/2012 at 7:43pm - health - by Kayla - United States

Today, I fell and sprained my ankle while trying to step into my underwear. FML

#18904758
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23462) - you deserved it (5715)

On 01/25/2012 at 1:32am - health - by ???? - United States

Today, it's been three days since my husband got into free-jazz. He plays all the time in our small apartment. Loud. It's like listening to three guys build a shed for 10 giant angry wasps. FML

#18387801
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15763) - you deserved it (2063)

On 11/29/2011 at 8:53pm - misc - by Geraldine - Canada (Yukon Territory)

Today, I found pictures in my boyfriend's phone of our dog eating treats out of my mouth while I'm sleeping. FML

#18242868
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29959) - you deserved it (4092)

On 11/14/2011 at 12:09am - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)



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