Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

TheCrispyCat

Offline (yesterday at 7:14am) | Search for a member

TheCrispyCat

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 661
  • Number of comments : 240
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 19 posted

About TheCrispyCat : What ya doin Spiceman?!?

TheCrispyCat's page activity

Visits<b>paramor3</b> - yesterday at 7:38am<b>oathkeeper99</b> - the 08/29/2014 at 2:13am<b>lizardFace</b> - the 08/27/2014 at 6:41am<b>NotDarkKnight</b> - the 08/26/2014 at 4:42pm<b>wilburhp</b> - the 08/25/2014 at 8:36pm<b>neeni88</b> - the 08/24/2014 at 4:20am<b>ethan_unoxx</b> - the 08/23/2014 at 10:04pm<b>Hieroglyph</b> - the 08/22/2014 at 2:36am<b>NotAUser</b> - the 08/21/2014 at 9:39pm<b>julako</b> - the 08/21/2014 at 7:52pm<b>Theghostlyisaiah</b> - the 08/21/2014 at 5:49pm<b>Kyle1dc</b> - the 08/18/2014 at 11:12pm<b>diesel_power</b> - the 08/18/2014 at 10:57pm<b>zachhewett</b> - the 08/14/2014 at 7:23pm<b>Lebeaugars95</b> - the 08/14/2014 at 12:13pm<b>anormalperson</b> - the 08/14/2014 at 7:38am<b>angeljade1234</b> - the 08/14/2014 at 6:12am<b>whattfreshhhelll</b> - the 08/13/2014 at 11:38pm

TheCrispyCat's FML badges

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

See all of TheCrispyCat's badges

TheCrispyCat's favorite FMLs

Today, after coming home from a two week vacation, my dog was pink, there were beer bottles and used condoms on my bed, and everything was a mess. I asked my sister, who'd been watching over the place, what had happened. She just said "Oops." and hung up. FML

#21246633
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33682) - you deserved it (3033)

On 08/27/2014 at 6:52pm - misc - by nayahbear24 - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I bought some noise-canceling headphones. They work well. Too well. My mom came home, unpacked her shopping, walked upstairs, knocked on my door, opened my door, and found me jacking off to a porno, all without me hearing a thing. Fucking hell. FML

#21246585
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30839) - you deserved it (28977)

On 08/27/2014 at 5:50pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, as I was driving out of a parking lot, some douchebag yelled at me: "Nice car! Too bad you're so ugly!" It was my friend's car, so I don't even have that going for me. FML

#21246563
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33625) - you deserved it (2511)

On 08/27/2014 at 5:21pm - misc - by leem (woman) - Belgium (Antwerpen)

Today, I got my wisdom teeth removed. All I can remember is crying to my mom because I thought spoons were taking over the world. FML

Today, as I got out the shower, my mom walked in to give me a towel, then quickly covered her eyes and said, "Woah, I almost saw your penis. Good things it's ridiculously small." I had friends over, and I'm pretty sure I'll hear about this for at least the next month. FML

Today, I was taking a customer's order, when she said she'd better go for a salad, because she was getting fat. She was actually very slim, so I told her she wasn't fat at all. She took one look at me and snorted "Yeah, not compared to you, that's for sure." FML

#21245733
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38598) - you deserved it (3497)

On 08/26/2014 at 11:30am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was fixing the plumbing at my father-in-law's house. I told him to shut off the water and yell to me when he did. A few minutes later, I heard a yell and removed the pipe. I was met with a face full of water. Turns out he was just very excited when the Rangers beat the Mariners. FML

#21245661
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33584) - you deserved it (3182)

On 08/26/2014 at 7:27am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, while my teacher was demonstrating how to use the ultrasound equipment, we all figured out that I'm pregnant. FML

#21245451
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47070) - you deserved it (9222)

On 08/25/2014 at 10:37pm - health - by whotouchedyou1 - United States (Texas)

Today, after a long silent and awkward pause after asking my girlfriend's dad if I can take her on holiday for Christmas, he looked me dead in the eyes and said "No, you may not impregnate my daughter." FML

#21243591
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38582) - you deserved it (4687)

On 08/23/2014 at 3:34am - intimacy - by Dafuq happen there - South Africa

Today, my dad stopped me mid-sentence and said he wanted to punch me in the face and set me on fire for using the word "selfie". FML

#21243189
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21398) - you deserved it (36627)

On 08/22/2014 at 2:41pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my parents accused me of being secretive. I have no idea what they're talking about; all I do is work, go to school, sleep, and eat. Now I'm grounded until I tell them what's going on. I have crazy parents, that's what's going on. FML

#21242846
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40820) - you deserved it (2499)

On 08/22/2014 at 12:09am - misc - by up to no-good... - United States (New Mexico)

Today, I tasted a perfectly salted, crispy, and dead carpenter ant hidden in my bag of pistachios. FML

#21242612
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32005) - you deserved it (2985)

On 08/21/2014 at 5:48pm - misc - by ReluctantAntEater (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my thieving, layabout stepmom planted weed in my bedroom and showed my dad. Well, maybe I'm jumping to conclusions here, but her smirk and telling me later that I shouldn't fuck with her again seems conclusive to me. Goodbye freedom. FML

#21242552
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39466) - you deserved it (2517)

On 08/21/2014 at 3:30pm - misc - by stepshart - Canada (Ontario)

Today, some random bloke introduced himself at a bar by asking to fuck me. I got tongue-tied trying to say both "fuck off" and "please go away". I ended up telling him to "Please fuck away." FML

#21242424
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36697) - you deserved it (6648)

On 08/21/2014 at 12:36pm - misc - by royallymessedup -

Today, two children decided it would be fun to try to ding-dong-ditch me. I never answered the door as I saw them running away. They did it a couple of times before getting bored. That's when they decided it would be fun to come into my house instead. FML

#21240389
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39731) - you deserved it (4253)

On 08/18/2014 at 8:10am - kids - by I hate children - United Kingdom (Liverpool)



FML's blog

  • Jim Trim's Illustrated FML
  • Action stations! I'm back from my holiday, I've got some sort of weirdly uneven tan and I already want to go back to the beach to bum about and finish off my colouring book. But I can't. I'm still…

Friday 29 August 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: