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TheCockBlocker

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TheCockBlocker
  • Town/Country : Not Specific, USA
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Saturday 1 April 1995 (19 years)
  • Number of visits : 243
  • Number of comments : 3
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About TheCockBlocker : Well my name is Jon, I'm 17 years old and I like to talk to strangers!

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TheCockBlocker's favorite FMLs

Today, I was eating cereal while absentmindedly reading the box. I was amused when I found it expires on my birthday. Then I realized it expired on my birthday two years ago. FML

#18286852
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14500) - you deserved it (23228)

On 11/19/2011 at 3:40am - misc - by jerdub93 - United States (California)

Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend for the first time. In an attempt to be romantic, I tried taking her panties off with my teeth. I got a mouthful of pubes stuck in my braces. FML

#18286720
363 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32835) - you deserved it (23911)

On 11/19/2011 at 3:05am - intimacy - by Tyler - United States

Today, I was practicing my lines for theater class in the hall. My partner and I chose a script where we argue over me stealing her boyfriend. Since it started to sound like a real argument, another student said that I was a "crazy bitch" and punched me in the face. FML

#18279897
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32026) - you deserved it (3658)

On 11/18/2011 at 8:30am - misc - by hannahk267 - United States (Missouri)

Today, my boyfriend went and bought Skyrim, Modern Warfare 3 and renewed his WoW subscription. Looks like I won't be getting laid for a month or two. FML

#18273262
602 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41927) - you deserved it (11055)

On 11/17/2011 at 3:22pm - intimacy - by anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was doing the reverse cowgirl with my boyfriend. I was on the way to a glorious finish when he pointed out that I had a pimple on my butt. He began to laugh so hard that he went soft. FML

#18271513
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31743) - you deserved it (4160)

On 11/17/2011 at 9:06am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I found a note on my door that said "I masturbate to your pictures on Facebook." Someone else wrote "like" at the bottom. FML

#18224618
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37242) - you deserved it (7524)

On 11/12/2011 at 12:34am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I thought it would be a good idea to let my 19-month-old son watch me pee, since I'm trying to potty train him. I didn't consider that he might try to grab my penis. When he did, I was startled and peed all over the floor and my son. Good job dad. FML

#18202922
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24848) - you deserved it (17024)

On 11/09/2011 at 4:52pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend thought it would be sexy if he bit me on the lips. Normally, I would have enjoyed it, if the lips in question were the ones on my face. FML

#17591992
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35485) - you deserved it (4314)

On 08/27/2011 at 2:08am - intimacy - by RainCl0ud - United States (California)

Today, I started to fall in love with my wife again. We are in the middle of a divorce. FML

#17457372
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35600) - you deserved it (15702)

On 08/13/2011 at 3:25am - love - by badass - United States

Today, I woke up at my girlfriend's house. She was staring at me, holding a knife over my face. She ran away, giggling. FML

#17457057
272 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37432) - you deserved it (4053)

On 08/13/2011 at 2:37am - love - by bTOhno - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, the guy of my dreams told me he liked me and leaned in to kiss me. Just as our lips touched, I ripped a big ass fart. FML

#17455521
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36779) - you deserved it (13931)

On 08/13/2011 at 12:06am - love - by sydneybourgeois - United States (Texas)

Today, my father tricked me into eating a Tasmanian habanero, saying it was just another pepper. The burning in my mouth was unbearable, but nothing compared to when I took a shit later in the day. FML

#17450169
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27049) - you deserved it (4078)

On 08/12/2011 at 1:25pm - misc - by Coldsnap - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, I walked outside my house to find my father in nothing but his underwear, spraying ants with ant-killer, laughing like a maniac and screaming, "Die bitches! Die!" FML

#17447180
237 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29644) - you deserved it (4066)

On 08/12/2011 at 2:17am - misc - by TuteSweet - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my boyfriend found out that if guys eat fruit often, their sperm will taste better. He bought a can of fruit for himself to eat, and said that he bought it just for me. This is the most romantic thing he's ever done. FML

#17446772
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34396) - you deserved it (6901)

On 08/12/2011 at 1:33am - intimacy - by Pissedoff777 - United States (Arizona)

Today, thinking I was alone in a public bathroom, I started singing the words to my favorite song. A minute later that I heard a toilet flush, so I just sat there petrified. The other person sarcastically picked up the singing from where I left off. FML

#17439919
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10636) - you deserved it (29374)

On 08/11/2011 at 12:09pm - misc - by bathroomgirl (woman) - United States (California)



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