About TheCockBlocker : Well my name is Jon, I'm 17 years old and I like to talk to strangers!
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Today, I was eating cereal while absentmindedly reading the box. I was amused when I found it expires on my birthday. Then I realized it expired on my birthday two years ago. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12093) - you deserved it (16908)
On 11/19/2011 at 3:40am - misc - by jerdub93 - United States (California)
Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend for the first time. In an attempt to be romantic, I tried taking her panties off with my teeth. I got a mouthful of pubes stuck in my braces. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32226) - you deserved it (23583)
On 11/19/2011 at 3:05am - intimacy - by Tyler - United States
Today, I was practicing my lines for theater class in the hall. My partner and I chose a script where we argue over me stealing her boyfriend. Since it started to sound like a real argument, another student said that I was a "crazy bitch" and punched me in the face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29496) - you deserved it (3461)
On 11/18/2011 at 8:30am - misc - by hannahk267 - United States (Missouri)
Today, my boyfriend went and bought Skyrim, Modern Warfare 3 and renewed his WoW subscription. Looks like I won't be getting laid for a month or two. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37833) - you deserved it (10139)
On 11/17/2011 at 3:22pm - intimacy - by anonymous - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I was doing the reverse cowgirl with my boyfriend. I was on the way to a glorious finish when he pointed out that I had a pimple on my butt. He began to laugh so hard that he went soft. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31022) - you deserved it (4132)
On 11/17/2011 at 9:06am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)
Today, I found a note on my door that said "I masturbate to your pictures on Facebook." Someone else wrote "like" at the bottom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33357) - you deserved it (7076)
On 11/12/2011 at 12:34am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, I thought it would be a good idea to let my 19-month-old son watch me pee, since I'm trying to potty train him. I didn't consider that he might try to grab my penis. When he did, I was startled and peed all over the floor and my son. Good job dad. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24245) - you deserved it (16865)
On 11/09/2011 at 4:52pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my boyfriend thought it would be sexy if he bit me on the lips. Normally, I would have enjoyed it, if the lips in question were the ones on my face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31974) - you deserved it (3371)
On 08/27/2011 at 2:08am - intimacy - by RainCl0ud - United States (California)
Today, I started to fall in love with my wife again. We are in the middle of a divorce. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32684) - you deserved it (14670)
On 08/13/2011 at 3:25am - love - by badass - United States
Today, I woke up at my girlfriend's house. She was staring at me, holding a knife over my face. She ran away, giggling. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32966) - you deserved it (3166)
On 08/13/2011 at 2:37am - love - by bTOhno - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, the guy of my dreams told me he liked me and leaned in to kiss me. Just as our lips touched, I ripped a big ass fart. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31973) - you deserved it (10229)
On 08/13/2011 at 12:06am - love - by sydneybourgeois - United States (Texas)
Today, my father tricked me into eating a Tasmanian habanero, saying it was just another pepper. The burning in my mouth was unbearable, but nothing compared to when I took a shit later in the day. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24992) - you deserved it (3246)
On 08/12/2011 at 1:25pm - misc - by Coldsnap - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)
I agree, your life sucks (27491) - you deserved it (3874)
On 08/12/2011 at 2:17am - misc - by TuteSweet - United States (Connecticut)
Today, my boyfriend found out that if guys eat fruit often, their sperm will taste better. He bought a can of fruit for himself to eat, and said that he bought it just for me. This is the most romantic thing he's ever done. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29376) - you deserved it (5347)
On 08/12/2011 at 1:33am - intimacy - by Pissedoff777 - United States (Arizona)
Today, thinking I was alone in a public bathroom, I started singing the words to my favorite song. A minute later that I heard a toilet flush, so I just sat there petrified. The other person sarcastically picked up the singing from where I left off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10019) - you deserved it (23355)
On 08/11/2011 at 12:09pm - misc - by bathroomgirl (woman) - United States (California)
Monday 17 June 2013
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