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TheCitizens96

Offline (the 09/13/2014 at 3:06am) | Search for a member

TheCitizens96

4Liked!

TheCitizens96TheCitizens96
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1224
  • Number of comments : 4
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About TheCitizens96 : Me? I'd say I'm pretty chill and even easy-going, but I also appreciate people who use correct grammar. :)

.... Zombies. Horror movies. Football (Manchester City). Black Ops. Hot guys..... Enough Said.

Oh! And no, I don't have a kik. So please, don't ask. I'm not gonna make one for you, doesn't matter who the hell you are. ;P

However, I do have an Instagram. Don't be afraid to ask. ;P

TheCitizens96's page activity

Visits<b>Deadpool47</b> - 15 hours ago<b>noah_1234</b> - 19 hours ago<b>FkTheWorld7</b> - yesterday at 4:49am<b>ashleylove0525</b> - the 09/14/2014 at 10:23am<b>RobotUnicorn1209</b> - the 09/13/2014 at 4:54pm<b>theoneandonlybro</b> - the 09/13/2014 at 10:51am<b>Drag0nb0rn</b> - the 09/12/2014 at 9:28pm<b>gogators941</b> - the 09/12/2014 at 4:15pm<b>rolso</b> - the 09/11/2014 at 11:52pm<b>Garrett2818</b> - the 09/11/2014 at 4:07am<b>straightpride</b> - the 09/11/2014 at 2:07am<b>Kirito_Kazuto</b> - the 09/10/2014 at 8:13am<b>destros</b> - the 09/10/2014 at 6:12am<b>thatsawkward7</b> - the 09/09/2014 at 2:15pm<b>yourbestguess</b> - the 09/09/2014 at 2:09pm<b>Tobiaspe</b> - the 09/09/2014 at 9:33am<b>totallybananas</b> - the 09/09/2014 at 3:47am<b>olivetree172</b> - the 09/08/2014 at 6:58pm

Liked!<b>TexasDiesel97</b> - 22 hours ago<b>thatsawkward7</b> - the 09/09/2014 at 8:14pm<b>angelbaby11396</b> - the 08/29/2014 at 11:55pm<b>mansfield_j</b> - the 08/29/2014 at 6:27pm

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TheCitizens96's favorite FMLs

Today, I dreamed I was wrestling an alligator. I quickly woke up to my girlfriend yelling and me holding her in a headlock. FML

#21247589
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37144) - you deserved it (4993)

On 08/29/2014 at 12:16am - misc - by AgentOrion - United States (Alabama)

Today, my girlfriend got her period. It seemed more painful for her than usual, so I offered to go out and buy some painkillers and maybe some chocolate for her. She thought I was being sarcastic and slapped me so hard I saw stars. FML

#21245120
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40307) - you deserved it (3476)

On 08/25/2014 at 2:58pm - misc - by nhyari (man) - South Africa (Western Cape)

Today, my sister felt guilty and told me about the changes she secretly made to my résumé months ago. She'd put "doing your mom" and "corporate espionage" as my hobbies, and "Justin Bieber's pussy waxer" as a previous job. No wonder I'm still unemployed. FML

#21244565
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39824) - you deserved it (7246)

On 08/24/2014 at 5:50pm - work - by fuck you, tasha (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to lose our virginity. When he saw blood, he panicked and started crying, convinced that he was bleeding out. FML

#21242605
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44253) - you deserved it (5094)

On 08/21/2014 at 5:24pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Portugal (Lisboa)

Today, to spice things up, my boyfriend suggested we wear disguises. Amused by the idea, I accepted. That's how I ended up having sex with Gandalf. FML

#21240323
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40294) - you deserved it (8285) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 08/18/2014 at 12:48am - intimacy - by Degueusement (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, it was a hot day and a woman walking in front of me collapsed. I helped her up, and I called an ambulance while she laid down. While we waited, two teenage girls walked past and I heard one say to the other, "I love how this city just lets people tan wherever". FML

#21237053
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38559) - you deserved it (2561)

On 08/13/2014 at 11:02pm - kids - by Anonymous - New Zealand

Today, due to a hammer-related incident, instead of receiving glass ornaments as gifts from my trip to Venice, my friends will be receiving novelty postcards of Michelangelo's David's penis. FML

Today, at work, an old man was having trouble using his credit card at the checkout. I told him to "just stick it in", and he replied with "I love it when you talk dirty to me." The whole line at the checkout laughed. FML

#21228111
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49080) - you deserved it (21217)

On 08/03/2014 at 1:16am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I went on Facebook. The third post down was a selfie of my mom looking sad, with the caption, "God I need a good dicking." FML

#21218442
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49924) - you deserved it (11735)

On 07/23/2014 at 4:00pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had to take my cat to the vet. On the way there, he managed to get out of his cage, climb into the front seat, onto my chest, and howl in my face as I tried to drive down the highway. I ended up with stitches and still got charged for missing my cat's appointment. FML

#21216576
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38158) - you deserved it (4920)

On 07/21/2014 at 6:49pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I decided to try something new with my boyfriend, and sexted him. My text ended up sounding so stupid that I panicked and quickly sent another saying "SORRY WRONG PERSON". FML

Today, a girl I recently slept with messaged me, explaining through a rendition of "Call Me Maybe" that she'd given me chlamydia. FML

#21199713
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46251) - you deserved it (14231)

On 07/05/2014 at 4:19pm - health - by Rowansgonnarow -

Today, I was feeling unappreciated and asked my boyfriend if he loves me. He faltered and replied, "Uh, my dick does." FML

#21180513
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45900) - you deserved it (7660)

On 06/19/2014 at 10:33am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I woke up screaming like a little bitch. I'd been having a bizarre dream where I was having sex with Homer Simpson, when he suddenly had a heart attack and fell on me, crushing me to death. I think my brain needs a douching. FML

#21171240
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46152) - you deserved it (6967)

On 06/11/2014 at 6:20pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, me and the guy I was dating ran into my sister at the mall. He took one look at her and mumbled, "Great, I chose the ugly one" under his breath. FML

#21137666
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58460) - you deserved it (5677)

On 05/12/2014 at 12:01pm - love - by bambam - United States (Texas)



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  • So, is everyone back from their vacation? Can we get back to regular programming? No? OK, I get it. You're all still crying about not being at the beach any more, well, I am anyway. And this time of year…

Thursday 11 September 2014

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