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TheCamoWulf

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TheCamoWulf
  • Town/Country : Nevermore, USA
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 9527
  • Number of comments : 62
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 36 posted

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TheCamoWulf's favorite FMLs

Today, I was driving down the road when I got to a red light. I looked over and saw a hot chick in a convertible so I spoke to my window thinking she couldn't hear me "Hey girl, I may have a tiny dick but I make up for it in speed and stamina." She looked over. I forgot about the sunroof. FML

#239452
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6168) - you deserved it (66097)

On 03/08/2009 at 12:36am - intimacy - by Smash_Mouth - United States (Florida)

Today, I opened my birthday present from my grandfather. It was a map of the USA color coded by regional percentage of available men. FML

#238786
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51525) - you deserved it (3631)

On 03/07/2009 at 11:28pm - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I left my parents house to drive 90 minutes back to college. As I was getting off the exit for my school, I realized I left my bright pink vibrator sitting on my dresser back at home. FML

#236958
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18208) - you deserved it (64581)

On 03/07/2009 at 8:15pm - intimacy - by vibratorgirl (woman) - United States (Delaware)

Today, I was picking up my daughter from my ex-husband's house and his new girlfriend was there. I called to my daughter that it was time to leave and she clung to his girlfriend and said 'Mommy, I don't want to leave.' She wasn't talking to me. FML

#234756
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (123967) - you deserved it (7728)

On 03/07/2009 at 3:15pm - kids - by divorced (woman) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, my boyfriend and I were out to eat. The waiter came and asked what we wanted. My boyfriend said he wanted a cheeseburger and I told the waiter I'd have the same. My boyfriend looked at me and said, "Are you sure you don't want a salad?" FML

#234150
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56643) - you deserved it (7266)

On 03/07/2009 at 1:36pm - love - by Kate (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I walked into the kitchen and accidentally broke my mother's vase. I said, "Accidents happen." She replied, "Yeah, like your birth." FML

#234028
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (91713) - you deserved it (17806)

On 03/07/2009 at 1:15pm - misc - by Cody (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I couldn't answer almost any of the questions in the game "Are You Smarter Than A 5th Grader?" I'm a 40 year old man. FML

#232055
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13303) - you deserved it (45180)

On 03/07/2009 at 1:43am - misc - by laywer_man (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I got a letter from my college saying that if my tuition was not paid in the next 24 hours, I will be terminated from classes. Turns out account services has been depositing my tuition money in another student’s account whose social security number was one digit different from mine. FML

#229421
43 comments

Today, I got a letter from my college saying that if my tuition was not paid in the next 24 hours, I will be terminated from classes. Turns out account services has been depositing my tuition money in another student’s account whose social security number was one digit different from mine. FML

#229421
43 comments

Today, I overheard my parents having sex. Trying to be the reasonable person I was, I dismissed it, realizing that sex is just normal. I quickly walked past their room when my cat ran past me into their room, cracking open the door. Now my parents think I was peeping and need therapy. FML

#228831
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64350) - you deserved it (3809)

On 03/06/2009 at 7:41pm - intimacy - by Kathrynn (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I flew home early from a two month trip to Europe to surprise my boyfriend on his birthday. When I got to his house with a home baked cake from scratch and a quilt with slik-screened pictures from my trip, his roommate answered the door and said "Oh sorry, he's out with his girlfriend." FML

#227121
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59101) - you deserved it (3146)

On 03/06/2009 at 4:07pm - love - by Muscle (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my mother told me she didn't want my girlfriend spending the night anymore. I asked why, she said she heard us doing the nasty the night before and I denied it, hoping I could call her bluff. She paused for a moment and moaned EXACTLY like my girlfriend does. FML

#225953
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18527) - you deserved it (58690)

On 03/06/2009 at 12:51pm - intimacy - by ToobyFrank - United States (Missouri)

Today, I yelled at my little brother for leaving the toilet seat up and told him he needed to go around the house and make sure they were all down. I went to the bathroom later to find that the toilet seats and covers from every toilet had all been removed and were sitting on my bed. FML

#225937
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14176) - you deserved it (60748)

On 03/06/2009 at 12:49pm - kids - by wetbutt (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was getting restless in my psychology class. I stretched out both of my arms and hands into the aisles on either side of me, only to find myself with my teacher's package in my palm. FML

#221639
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42914) - you deserved it (9377)

On 03/05/2009 at 9:29pm - misc - by dizzlewizzle - United States (New York)



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