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TheCamoWulf's favorite FMLs
Today, I told my friend I hadn't had a period in 5 months. She asked me if I was pregnant. When I asked her if I looked 5 months pregant, she replied by saying "is that supposed to be a trick question?" FML
by booyouwhoree / 03/03/2009 at 3:49pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous
by bluedevil26 / 03/03/2009 at 11:51am / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous
Today, I got a call from my friend who invited me to a theme party. It was a goth theme, and I decided to get real into it. I put on a trench coat, black skin tight pants, and black paint under the eyes. When I got there I was greeted by a kid in a pink popped collar. It wasn't a theme party. FML
by nerd / 03/02/2009 at 10:20pm / United States (Kansas) / Miscellaneous
by himtopia19 / 03/02/2009 at 7:09pm / United States (Indiana) / Transportation
Today, I went to get my underarms waxed. I'm usually not self-conscious because I figure they see worse stuff all the time. When I raised my arm for her to wax my armpit she looked at me, laughed and said "Well I guess that's how I know it's winter in Wisconsin!" FML
by Kelly / 03/02/2009 at 6:38pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was walking when a man pointed a camera at me. I got bitchy about it, and said "Did I say you could take a picture?" He replied with, "No, but can you get the fuck out of the way so I can take one of my wife and kids?" I turned around, and they were right behind me. FML
by PicturePerfect / 03/02/2009 at 4:33pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
Today, I came home after a party to my parents, who confronted me. They said that my phone had made a pocket call to them and they heard a good half hour of people talking about drugs and alcohol. I confessed at that point. I checked my phone after. I hadn't called them in 3 days. FML
by Werner / 03/02/2009 at 4:04pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by EPICfml. / 03/02/2009 at 2:01pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous
by E / 03/02/2009 at 12:28pm / United States (Georgia) / Kids
Today, I was meeting friends for dinner at an Indian restaurant. I was waiting for the group to arrive and our table to be ready. An Indian man approached me smiling, so I said "We're not ready for our table yet". Then I realized it was my friend's boyfriend who I've met several times. FML
by neelloc83 / 03/02/2009 at 9:22am / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous
by legit / 03/02/2009 at 12:22am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, i walked into starbucks for a job application. I asked the manager if they were hiring, I really need a job. He looked me up and down and replied, " NO". There was a 'now hiring' sign in the window. FML
by timmyb / 03/01/2009 at 10:03pm / United States (California) / Work
Today, I borrowed a van to move some of my furniture. I wasn't used to the brakes so when I stopped at a red light, I pretty much ended up in the cross walk. Suddenly I heard a loud thud at the side of the van. I turned to see what idiot would walk into a van. It was a blind man. FML
by jazojigga / 03/01/2009 at 8:09pm / United States (California) / Transportation
Today, my mom had my girlfriend and me over. Out of the blue, she pulled out my grandmother's wedding ring and gave it to me saying I can now propose. My girlfriend started screaming and said yes. I have been seeing someone else for 3 months and was going to break up with my girlfriend tomorrow. FML
by MrCanoe / 03/01/2009 at 4:58pm / Canada (Manitoba) / Love
Today, I got a phone call from my mother asking me if I was okay. Confused, I asked her what she meant. She then told me that my boyfriend had broken up with me, and she just wanted to make sure I was handling it alright. I had to find out my relationship was over from my mom. FML
by Anonymous / 03/01/2009 at 3:02pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love