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TheCamoWulf

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TheCamoWulf

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 22570
  • Number of comments : 62
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 36 posted

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TheCamoWulf's favorite FMLs

Today, I was walking my husky when she saw a cat and bolted toward it. I couldn't let go of the leash because my hand was tangled up. Forced to run along, I ran into a parked van at full sprint. I lost my dog, broke two ribs and have to pay for the dent in the van. FML

#487128
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (92349) - you deserved it (9504)

On 03/20/2009 at 11:08am - animals - by frame (man) - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, I had my girlfriend over and we were hugging when she put her feet on my feet. We started walking around like that and I said, "This is hard to maintain." She replied with "So's your erection." FML

#487098
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54766) - you deserved it (16498)

On 03/20/2009 at 11:07am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I went to the dentist. He asked me to lean my head closer to him so he could get a better look at my teeth. He was hard. FML

#481871
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (100999) - you deserved it (5658)

On 03/20/2009 at 12:33am - misc - by rmb131 (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, at 4:00 a.m., I woke up and realized that I had thrown an expensive gift certificate for a friend in the garbage. Since it was garbage day, I ran out in the rain in my pajamas and rifled through all three bags of garbage. Twice. I found the gift certificate. It was in my pocket. FML

#469671
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26673) - you deserved it (56561)

On 03/19/2009 at 4:47pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I met my boyfriend's parents for the first time. In his front room was a giant parrot. Hoping to impress them, I went over to the bird and began talking to it proving I wasn't scared. Out of nowhere, it's beak clenched onto my nose making it gush blood on the carpet. I was hospitalized. FML

#454917
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53828) - you deserved it (17536)

On 03/18/2009 at 10:57pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was in an elevator with my brother and a woman. He signs to me that she has a 'damn fine ass'. I chuckle and then shake my head. He shrugs. A second later the woman signs to us, 'Rick, don't you remember me?' Turns out she helped teach my brother sign language when he was six. FML

#434812
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46946) - you deserved it (24805)

On 03/18/2009 at 3:59am - misc - by elevator-troubles (man) - Australia (Australian Capital Territory)

Today, I was at a Chinese restaurant, I'd forgotten my glasses and had a migraine. I was straining my eyes, squinting and rubbing my temples to alleviate my migraine. I was kicked out of the restaurant and banned henceforth because my waitress thought I was mocking her eyes. FML

Today, I was walking up to girlfriends house when her terrifying Marine Corps dad threw a football at me. Not being very athletic i surprised myself by catching it. He gestured for me throw it back and i watched it spiral wildy to the left and hit my girlfriends mom in the face. FML

#433084
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (74502) - you deserved it (13812)

On 03/18/2009 at 1:41am - misc - by Jaxter (man) - United States (Idaho)

Today, I was at my job in the Dean of Students office. My boss gave me some papers to copy. As I was copying, I read in a report that my boyfriend was written up for "cohabitation" (having a girl stay over) at my Catholic university. The report was from a weekend I wasn't at school. FML

#430681
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (77793) - you deserved it (3933)

On 03/18/2009 at 12:07am - work - by germx (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I woke up, completely naked, in bed with a guy I met the night before. We were both drunk the night before and I had agreed to go home with him. The reason I woke up was that someone was knocking on his bedroom door. Turns out he lives with his mom and she made us pancakes. FML

#429248
249 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34186) - you deserved it (88312)

On 03/17/2009 at 11:15pm - intimacy - by Nikki (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I had a gymnastics meet. I thought I was done with my period, but when I was up on the beam warming up my routine, one of my coaches called me down and told me that I apparently wasn't. My coach goes around asking my teammates moms if they had any pads. My dad caught this all on tape. FML

#415584
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (72735) - you deserved it (7294)

On 03/17/2009 at 4:35pm - misc - by Noname - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was flirting with a really hot guy at a track meet and I gave him my number. When I asked him what school he went to he replied, "Oh, I don't go to school, We're from the juvenile corrections facility." FML

#410087
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64271) - you deserved it (23585)

On 03/17/2009 at 10:42am - love - by Noname (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my fish's tank was all green and nasty, but I had no time to clean it because I woke up late, so the job was left to my mom. When I came back, the water level seemed high, and the fish looked a little strange, so I asked my mom what she did. She said "I cleaned the tank with chlorine!" FML

#404530
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44991) - you deserved it (27999)

On 03/17/2009 at 12:34am - animals - by Poorfish (man) - United States (California)



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