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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 24215
  • Number of comments : 62
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 36 posted

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TheCamoWulf's favorite FMLs

Today, I took the bus to work. A sweet old lady got on after and sat next to me. Halfway there, she fell asleep, her head on my shoulder. I gently tried to wake her up before my stop. She wasn't sleeping. I let a dead woman lie on me for 30 minutes. FML


I agree, your life sucks (758616) - you deserved it (62265)

On 04/13/2009 at 10:11pm - health - by meteorbabe0101 (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I met my boyfriend's family for the first time. I was playing with his little sister by grabbing her arms and spinning her around. On one turn, she started screaming in pain. It turns out I dislocated both her shoulders. FML


I agree, your life sucks (33157) - you deserved it (67204)

On 04/13/2009 at 7:27pm - kids - by grem (woman) - United States

Today, I got 20% tints on my car. As I'm driving home, a cop pulls me over. I didn't want to ruin my new tint by opening my window, so I opened my door as the cop approached. He then pulled out his gun and yelled "GET ON THE FUCKING GROUND!" before I could explain. FML


I agree, your life sucks (41005) - you deserved it (56164)

On 04/13/2009 at 3:41pm - misc - by italy1986 (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, half asleep, I dropped my pill before I could take it. I quickly picked it up and washed it down. Five hours later, I just found my pill on the ground. What did I swallow? FML


I agree, your life sucks (105269) - you deserved it (24674)

On 04/13/2009 at 12:12pm - misc - by anonymiss (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went on a first date with a guy that included dinner, pool and pretty good conversation. Around Midnight he yawned and said the beer was making him sleepy, so he took me home. I wasn't tired so I changed and went out with some friends... and saw him on the dance floor. FML


Today, I called my favorite radio station over and over, trying to be the 40th caller to win sold-out concert tickets, each time holding my thumb over the button to quickly hang up and re-dial if busy. I finally got through and they congratulated me being the winning caller! By habit, I hung up. FML

Today, I handed the keys to my Mustang to my mom so she could go car shopping. As she pulled away, I remembered the condom wrappers, sex toy packaging, and empty bottle of rum that was in the passenger's seat of my car. I'm twenty. FML


I agree, your life sucks (14969) - you deserved it (79955)

On 04/13/2009 at 6:46am - intimacy - by jackass (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was at a pool party. My friend's little sister pushed me in the pool. When I got out, I pushed her in. She started screaming, and I started laughing because I thought she was pissed that I pushed her in. That wasn't why she was screaming. She can't swim. Her whole family witnessed it. FML


I agree, your life sucks (51185) - you deserved it (19536)

On 04/12/2009 at 8:24pm - misc - by imbx (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was going on a plane to Chicago. My passport picture is 6 years old, and back then I was a beautiful model. Now, I gave birth to a child and gained 50 lbs. When I showed my passport to the airport atendents, I got arrested for stealing someones passport. FML

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend of 5 years getting intimate with my best friend. When they saw me they immediately stopped and said nothing. After about 5 seconds of silence my boyfriend yells "April fools!" April Fools was 12 days ago. FML


I agree, your life sucks (133993) - you deserved it (7646)

On 04/12/2009 at 6:47am - misc - by Aprilfools (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, at a family Seder, (a Jewish service for Passover), my mom served matzah balls during the festive meal. Considering how much I love matzah balls and there aren't many options for me to eat because I'm a vegetarian, I shouted, "I like really big balls!" in front of my entire family. FML


I agree, your life sucks (20415) - you deserved it (92398)

On 04/12/2009 at 12:27am - intimacy - by anon13 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I parked my car on the street to go to the gym. When i came back my car was blocked by a parade of people. I turned to a shop worker smoking a cigarette and said "Jesus! What the hell is going on?" I got many strange looks. It was a Good Friday parade lead by a local church. FML


I agree, your life sucks (16531) - you deserved it (45657)

On 04/11/2009 at 10:52pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I went with my grandma to pickup my uncle and cousins from the airport. On our way there, the car died in the middle of the road. A police officer stopped to help us, he blocked the road while i pushed and my grandma steered. I had to push a minivan, I weigh 115 lbs. FML


I agree, your life sucks (45424) - you deserved it (5547)

On 04/11/2009 at 10:51pm - misc - by carpusher (man) - United States (Florida)

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