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TheCamoWulf

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TheCamoWulf
  • Town/Country : Nevermore, USA
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 9394
  • Number of comments : 62
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 36 posted

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TheCamoWulf's favorite FMLs

Today, my roommate and I were walking to a bar and a group of guys shouted out at us "Hey, it's like we're on Animal Planet, I see a zebra and a gorilla." My roommate was wearing a zebra print shirt. FML

#1773793
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44641) - you deserved it (4223)

On 05/09/2009 at 9:53am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I finished a drawing that I spent over 14 hours working on for my mom for Mother's Day. I took it outside to seal it with fixative. I took of the clear lid, shook the can, then sprayed red spray paint all over my art. FML

#1770130
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46032) - you deserved it (20488)

On 05/09/2009 at 2:19am - misc - by Mandy - United States (California)

Today, I saw my little brother playing with my new kitten. He is only five and isn't very gentle so I took the cat away and told him "You can't play with the cat! I don't think he likes you very much!" In a joking tone. The cat then bit and clawed my face. FML

#1769804
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11747) - you deserved it (43674)

On 05/09/2009 at 2:08am - animals - by Christine (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I woke up and went into the bathroom and noticed a dark mass in the toilet. Thinking someone took a dump and didn't flush, I approached the toilet ready to dispose of it. That's when I noticed its whiskers and ears. It was a rat, and it was alive. FML

#1763886
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52347) - you deserved it (2821)

On 05/08/2009 at 11:03pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I got the cell phone bill for my family and saw that my son had gone over his limit by around 1,000 messages. Curious to see what he was talking about that much, I read the messages. Apparently, my 15 year old son is having it off more than me and my wife. FML

#1751733
320 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46793) - you deserved it (9533)

On 05/08/2009 at 5:07pm - misc - by gangstalicious - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was serving a family at the restaurant where I work. When I went to ask the little girl what she wanted, I was tongue-tied and got "cutie" and "hun" mixed up and ended up asking, "What can I get for you, cuntie?" FML

#1751488
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (72232) - you deserved it (21999)

On 05/08/2009 at 4:53pm - work - by keeks_25 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I learned that no matter how much you assume that the crunchy bits in a bag of crisps are in fact crisps, you will occasionally find that your assumptions are wrong. Beetles just don't have the same appeal. FML

#1749870
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40049) - you deserved it (5023)

On 05/08/2009 at 4:02pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I had surgery on my foot. The doctor told me I'd be on crutches for 6 months. I texted my boyfriend the news, promising lots of intimate favors if he'd watch movies with me while on bed rest for the next week. He texted back, "No way. I don't date cripples." Dumped for a broken foot. FML

#1743823
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54637) - you deserved it (4228)

On 05/08/2009 at 4:28am - health - by gimp. (woman) - United States (California)

Today, on my last break, a lady comes up to me and asks if she could have a hug because I reminded her of her daughter that died in a car accident 3 years before. Touched, I called my mom to let her know that I loved her. Before I could tell her, she said it was probably a scam and hung up on me. FML

Today, my mom and I were watching this movie in which some girls start making out. My mother calls them "sinners" and that they will "burn in hell twice". Then she says "God doesn't like gays". I'm a lesbian. I picked out this movie as a way of coming out. FML

#1734899
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (91834) - you deserved it (14361)

On 05/07/2009 at 9:39pm - love - by HidenSeek (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I told my students that I would be absent tomorrow because my wife was giving birth. They burst into applause... not to congratulate me on the new baby. FML

#1714959
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42241) - you deserved it (11239)

On 05/07/2009 at 10:50am - kids - by spanishteach (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was talking to my boyfriend on the phone. After a short pause I hear him say "I love you." Smiling I say, "I love you too." Then he says, "I was talking to my dog." FML

#1713391
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52846) - you deserved it (5225)

On 05/07/2009 at 8:39am - love - by TrulyYours (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, I got a call from my child's preschool saying that "Mindy keeps saying she sits on her daddy's lap and plays with his peter." My daughter meant 'puter, as in computer. Now the school is worried my husband is a child molester. FML

#1704585
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57044) - you deserved it (2326)

On 05/06/2009 at 9:43pm - misc - by Gumfanatic302 (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I was walking on the track when this really cute guy shows up. I was hot and sweaty, and wanted to impress him by pouring water on myself. Instead of being turned on, all he saw was me wiping my face on my shirt screaming. It wasn't water, I forgot I had brought Sprite. FML

#1686217
285 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9383) - you deserved it (91345)

On 05/06/2009 at 7:36am - love - by gymbob (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I was walking on the track when this really cute guy shows up. I was hot and sweaty, and wanted to impress him by pouring water on myself. Instead of being turned on, all he saw was me wiping my face on my shirt screaming. It wasn't water, I forgot I had brought Sprite. FML

#1686217
285 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9383) - you deserved it (91345)

On 05/06/2009 at 7:36am - love - by gymbob (woman) - United States (Indiana)



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