TheCamoWulf

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TheCamoWulf

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 28741
  • Number of comments : 62
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 36 posted

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TheCamoWulf's page activity

Visits<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 07/04/2015 at 9:43am<b>senor_octubre</b> - the 06/16/2015 at 7:08pm<b>Defalt</b> - the 07/19/2014 at 8:42pm<b>Mornai</b> - the 05/06/2014 at 9:20pm<b>davered89</b> - the 04/29/2014 at 9:03am<b>krundale</b> - the 04/07/2014 at 4:33am<b>Devon00</b> - the 02/01/2014 at 1:31pm<b>fuck_toast</b> - the 12/30/2013 at 8:48pm<b>Dodopy</b> - the 12/12/2013 at 10:58pm<b>Bel2001</b> - the 10/15/2013 at 6:04am<b>StarWolf111</b> - the 09/23/2013 at 3:53am<b>hawkeyepeirce</b> - the 09/09/2013 at 5:44pm<b>IHATEFMYLIFE</b> - the 08/31/2013 at 6:47pm<b>baconator666</b> - the 08/24/2013 at 9:15pm<b>UnluckyGenius</b> - the 08/11/2013 at 7:35pm<b>beaubeau1993</b> - the 08/08/2013 at 6:22am<b>turtle_turtle_4</b> - the 08/07/2013 at 1:42pm<b>ZahnerD</b> - the 08/07/2013 at 8:51am

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TheCamoWulf's favorite FMLs

Today, I was about to lose my virginity with my girlfriend of 2 years, when I got an urgent phone call from my 9-year-old sister, telling me I had to come home immediately. My grandma fell off the toilet and got stuck between the bowl and the wall. I'm not making this up. FML

by Anonymous / 05/03/2009 at 7:22pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, it's my wedding day. It was meant to be perfect. The bouquet, along with a high pollen count, set my hay fever off. I walked down the aisle in front of 200 people with streaming eyes and a runny nose; I then had a sneezing fit during my vows and blew a large snot bubble. Real attractive. FML

by Cherub / 05/03/2009 at 6:16pm / United Kingdom (Cheshire) / Health

Today, I was holding a lit cigarette in one hand and a lollipop in the other. Guess which one I licked? FML

by htothecr / 05/03/2009 at 5:05pm / United States (Maine) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was masturbating in the dark with the door open. I thought I saw a figure outside my door, because I didn't have my glasses on. After intensely staring at the dark figure for about a minute, thinking it was my imagination, my stepdad said, "you know, I am looking RIGHT at you," FML

by danggit3290 / 05/03/2009 at 1:17pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I overheard my dad's friend complaining to my dad that his new baby boy is a ginger. I continued listening, and heard my dad saying, "Yeah, there's nothing worse than having a ginger." I'm his daughter. I'm a ginger. FML

by Deirbhile / 05/03/2009 at 12:40pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, it was my boyfriend's 21st birthday. Along with a pair of $80 shoes, I bought him a birthday cake, his favorite ice cream and a $15 balloon. I showed up to the party and he was very intoxicated. So intoxicated that he pops the balloon, drops the cake, and throws up all over his new shoes. FML

by Anonymous / 05/03/2009 at 11:22am / United States (North Carolina) / Love

Today, I was taking a nap on the couch when my 2 year old daughter decided that daddy needed an ear cleaning. With all the grace of toddler-hood, she stabbed me in the eardrum with a Q-tip. Now I can't hear her coming. FML

by bodhimae / 05/03/2009 at 3:15am / Kids

Today, my 6 year old granddaughter was sitting on my lap playing with the rings on my fingers. After a moment, she pointed to a gold ring with many jewels and said, "When you die can I have that one?" FML

by itswhateverr / 05/03/2009 at 12:16am / United States (New York) / Kids

Today, I finished my SAT and was feeling pretty good about it. I decided to turn on my phone, since it was on silent. As the guy was collecting our tests, my phone vibrated a little. My score was cancelled. It was a text from my mom reminding me to turn off my phone. FML

by Anonymous / 05/02/2009 at 4:12pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my 6 year old daughter asked me, "what would happen to me if you and daddy died?". I told her that she'd probably live with her Uncle Ant and Aunt Ilene. She looked at me and said "You guys can die. I won't cry. I get everything I want over there." FML

by Anonymous / 05/02/2009 at 4:12am / United States (North Carolina) / Kids

Today, I had my first job interview and didn't have much of an appetite because of the nerves. So I grabbed a brownie that my roommate had left in the fridge and ate it on the train ride in to the city. About 20 minutes into my interview I was so stoned I couldn't speak. FML

by Dunzo15 / 05/02/2009 at 2:28am / United States (New York) / Work

Today, I left a party after drinking, and was soon pulled over. I frantically grabbed my mouthwash I keep for emergency situations to cover up the alcohol smell on my breath. I was given the breathalyzer almost immediately. I blew a 2.37. Apparently, alcohol is the main ingredient of Listerine. FML

by breathalizard / 05/02/2009 at 2:21am / United States (North Dakota) / Health

Today, I went to a fast-food joint and ordered off the $1.00 menu to save money. Five hours later I go to the hospital with food-poisoning. After a whole day of not eating, crapping, puking, having tests, and a bunch of IV fluids, my $1.00 burger ended up costing me $2,000 in bills. Really. FML

by Sick / 05/02/2009 at 12:56am / United States (Florida) / Health

Today, I rolled down the windows in my car. When I tried to roll up the passenger side window, it was stuck. Rain was coming so I freaked out and brought it to the dealership to get it fixed. The man pushed the child safety lock button and the entire garage erupted in laughter. FML

by KMilly / 05/01/2009 at 2:42pm / United States (Virginia) / Transportation

Today, I got in the shower, washed my hair and shaved because I wanted to look great for a big date. I got out, brushed and dried my hair and spent an hour putting it up in the perfect hairstyle. Running late, I quickly put on my new dress, looked down and realized i had only shaved one leg. FML

by kam3221 / 05/01/2009 at 12:33am / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous