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TheCJ

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TheCJ

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  • Number of visits : 320
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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TheCJ's page activity

Visits<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:19pm

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TheCJ's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to the doctor for an infection from where a cat bit me while I was sleeping. Where that cat came from and how it got into my bedroom I will never know. FML

#15291539
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31633) - you deserved it (2842)

On 03/13/2011 at 9:19am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, after some passionate love making with my husband, I accidentally farted on his leg. He shrieked and frantically began shaking his leg while screaming, "Get it off! Get it off!" FML

#15079652
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21040) - you deserved it (32804)

On 02/22/2011 at 4:02pm - intimacy - by CutieBooty (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I found out that it is never, ever a good idea to put a band-aid of any kind on your penis, because eventually you will have to take it off. FML

#14967873
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8436) - you deserved it (48198)

On 02/14/2011 at 12:31am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was busily having fun with my girlfriend, when suddenly the bedroom door opened and a man walked in, picked me up, and threw me outside the apartment. I was naked and didn't even know she was into men, much less had a husband. FML

#14961230
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41907) - you deserved it (8712)

On 02/13/2011 at 5:32pm - intimacy - by Katrina (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I made the discovery that I'm in a true love triangle; both of my girlfriends are dating one another. FML

#14948891
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13869) - you deserved it (60568)

On 02/12/2011 at 11:52am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, It was my birthday and my friends came to celebrate it. My parents thought it would be funny to give me a vibrator in front of everybody. FML

#14948054
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33891) - you deserved it (4612)

On 02/12/2011 at 10:13am - intimacy - by AMIGODO (woman) - Netherlands (Utrecht)

Today, my Dad thought "Joseph" and "Francis" were two people hacking our internet. They are actually the names of my laptop and iPod, which have now been blocked from using our modem. He can't figure out how to unblock them. FML

#14932841
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16908) - you deserved it (23470)

On 02/11/2011 at 5:59am - misc - by Gem (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I went to get an ultrasound of my reproductive system done because I was having some abdominal pain. Everything was fine until the tech suddenly gasped and said, "Oh my God! You have two uteruses! Want me to print off a picture so you can show them off to your friends?" FML

#14898622
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32751) - you deserved it (3107)

On 02/08/2011 at 6:29pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I got a call from my daughter’s teacher asking me to come pick her up. My daughter wouldn’t tell her what was wrong. I left an important work meeting. When I got there she stated her boyfriend broke up with her and she couldn't emotionally make it through the rest of the day. She's 5. FML

Today, I found out my little sister was a stripper. At the same time, she found out that when I said I was having a "quiet birthday with some friends," what I really meant was "hiring a stripper to jump out of a cake." FML

#7420693
283 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50091) - you deserved it (7901)

On 01/18/2010 at 3:26pm - misc - by Jon (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I pulled someone over for speeding. He was only 10 over the speed limit so I gave him an $84 fine. It turns out he is a workplace Occupational Health and Safety officer and because I wasn't wearing my high visibilty vest while standing on the side of the road he gave me a $250 fine. FML

#5309221
374 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22426) - you deserved it (78080)

On 09/17/2009 at 6:57am - work - by auscop (man) - Australia (Western Australia)



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