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TheCD

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TheCD

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  • Number of visits : 502
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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Visits<b>mia_marie01</b> - the 10/19/2014 at 12:08am<b>the_untouchables</b> - the 10/25/2013 at 10:59pm

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TheCD's favorite FMLs

Today, I sat on Santa's lap. He got an erection. FML

#18404973
238 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40020) - you deserved it (9438)

On 12/01/2011 at 5:25pm - intimacy - by pops up - United States (Missouri)

Today, my wife caught me masturbating to porn. She screamed at me and asked why I would be masturbating when I had her to have sex with. So I asked if she wanted to have sex, she said no. FML

#18108392
254 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39781) - you deserved it (22625)

On 10/30/2011 at 1:31am - intimacy - by Korisite - United States

Today, I brought my date home to meet my parents. We walked in the front door to find my drunken father wearing nothing but a Viking helmet, and swinging and jabbing our living room furniture with a pool noodle. FML

#17711935
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27503) - you deserved it (2684)

On 09/10/2011 at 3:01pm - misc - by Hailey Antone - United States

Today, during our wedding, my wife tried to dodge The Kiss. FML

#17525336
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50615) - you deserved it (3672)

On 08/20/2011 at 12:41am - love - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, my sister confessed to me that she sold some of my old shirts to the girl who's stalking me. This explains why I got a note that read, "I have your scent, now I can track you." FML

#16965226
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41080) - you deserved it (2611)

On 07/03/2011 at 8:27pm - misc - by beablue18 - Germany (Rheinland-Pfalz)

Today, my identical twin sister got in trouble for sneaking out of the house to see her boyfriend. My father decided to ground both of us, because it would be "too confusing" for him otherwise. FML

#16057937
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59020) - you deserved it (4668)

On 05/05/2011 at 5:04pm - kids - by Monika (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, at work I had to convince an 80 year old mental patient that she's not Ke$ha and that she really has to put her clothes back on. FML

#15432254
284 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47068) - you deserved it (4450)

On 03/22/2011 at 2:30pm - work - by Kim - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I used my AA handbook as a beer coaster. FML

#14881052
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10240) - you deserved it (49152)

On 02/07/2011 at 10:47am - health - by Raprotcommander (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I found out my dad ate my pet rabbit two years ago. He said he ran away. FML

#14847630
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48062) - you deserved it (3783)

On 02/05/2011 at 1:07am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Arizona)

Today, I woke up to my new roommate staring at me, just a few inches from my face. She then told me how easy I would be to kill in my sleep. Then she stood up, naked from head to toe. FML

#14719810
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41314) - you deserved it (3353)

On 01/26/2011 at 12:40pm - misc - by 123roomielover (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, the airport security guard told me to lift my fat rolls so he could finish patting me down. FML

#11935766
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22295) - you deserved it (43129)

On 07/17/2010 at 2:16am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my sister decided to wake me up by pumping handwash into my open mouth. FML

#10540841
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28604) - you deserved it (3073)

On 05/15/2010 at 2:27am - misc - by sheridan.ashley (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I went to go see a specialist for my prostate and was told he would have to do an exam before I could leave. Having had this checked just the previous year, I was more than a little irritated. As I was bent over the table the Dr. said, "Now, just pretend I'm Angelina Jolie." FML

#8851700
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22991) - you deserved it (2419)

On 03/05/2010 at 7:40pm - health - by artsmart1 - United States

Today, my uncle died. It was also my grandpa's 85th birthday. His reaction to the death? "Best birthday gift ever!" FML

#7396511
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29831) - you deserved it (2386)

On 01/17/2010 at 10:58am - misc - by poppet2010 - Sent from mobile version

Today, my boyfriend told me he likes having sex during my period because it makes him feel like he stabbed a small animal to death. FML

#6968124
237 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38711) - you deserved it (4122)

On 12/27/2009 at 2:13am - intimacy - by Michelle (woman) - United States



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