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TheCD

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TheCD

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  • Number of visits : 464
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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TheCD's page activity

Visits<b>mia_marie01</b> - the 10/19/2014 at 12:08am<b>the_untouchables</b> - the 10/25/2013 at 10:59pm

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TheCD's favorite FMLs

Today, walking by myself, I was caught up in a group of people that got arrested, and we all got fined for creating a public disturbance. When I explained I wasn't with them, the group backed me up. The police thought I was the ringleader, and now I have to go to court. FML

#20639737
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58970) - you deserved it (3400)

On 05/03/2013 at 9:14pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Netherlands

Today, I found out that every time my girlfriend takes a big dump, she pretends as if she's giving birth and screams uncontrollably. I just moved in with her. FML

#20638599
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48392) - you deserved it (5167)

On 05/03/2013 at 7:32am - health - by poopydaddy - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my wife shaved her pubic hair so that it resembles Hitler's mustache. She won't stop referring to it as "the Clitler". FML

#20637691
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60488) - you deserved it (9138)

On 05/02/2013 at 8:50pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was getting ready, when I heard my dad in the shower. He was singing along to the song "The Wheel in the Sky" by Journey. Except he'd changed the lyrics and was singing, "The dick on this guy needs a rubbin'." It turns out my mom was in the shower with him. FML

#20634724
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61736) - you deserved it (4985)

On 05/01/2013 at 12:13pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I went for a run, and my own dog attacked me. FML

#20585643
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37843) - you deserved it (9155)

On 04/11/2013 at 8:59pm - animals - by anyonmus - United States (Maryland)

Today, my husband and I announced our upcoming divorce. My friends told me how sorry they were and that they're available for whatever I need. His friends told him to just call the girl from last weekend and get himself laid again. FML

#20583666
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48640) - you deserved it (6483)

On 04/10/2013 at 3:09pm - love - by a - United States

Today, my halitosis was so bad that when I blew onto my solution in chemistry class, it reacted. FML

#20582010
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29344) - you deserved it (9546) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 04/09/2013 at 6:29am - health - by Anonymous - Sent from mobile version

Today, while at a hospital, a prayer group circled me and started praying that God and the good doctors and nurses would heal me from the disease that disfigured my face. I was there to visit my sick grandmother. FML

#20580194
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46702) - you deserved it (3212)

On 04/08/2013 at 2:12am - health - by chinatownhobo (man) - Australia (Australian Capital Territory)

Today, I walked in on my husband eating cat food out of the cat bowl dressed in a cat costume. FML

#20577178
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51223) - you deserved it (5644)

On 04/06/2013 at 7:42am - misc - by confusedcatlover (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I came home in tears over finding out my boyfriend has been cheating on me. I told my seemingly sympathetic dad everything. His advice was to lure them both to our house with the promise of a three-way, after which he'd "kill the shit" out of them. Real mature, dad. FML

#20568440
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34396) - you deserved it (6301)

On 03/31/2013 at 1:55pm - love - by immaturity all around (woman) - United States

Today, my husband sent me a text before heading home from work. All it said was, "Need a fuck. Backed up to hell. You're about to shower face first in a fire hydrant." Love you too, hun. FML

#20466497
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31277) - you deserved it (5371)

On 01/18/2013 at 3:59pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while I was having sex, he stopped, looked at me all seriously and said, "Permission to climax, ma'am?" FML

#20458937
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44296) - you deserved it (9216)

On 01/14/2013 at 12:58pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was burgled while I was on the toilet. FML

#20402014
133 comments

Today, I watched as my dad noticed a spider on the ceiling. Instead of getting a shoe, he pulled out a 9mm and shot it. I'm not sure if this is an epic win or a sign that my family is crazy. FML

#19903364
317 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29875) - you deserved it (3575)

On 07/07/2012 at 2:10am - misc - by kalikanna - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I went with my friends to see a movie. I handed my student card over to the cashier as proof I was old enough to see it, and he started laughing hysterically at my picture. Then he called over a colleague, who also started laughing. FML

#19233268
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26100) - you deserved it (2576)

On 03/07/2012 at 1:51pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Lincolnshire)



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Friday 17 October 2014

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