Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

TheBrochure

Search for a member

TheBrochure

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2677
  • Number of comments : 231
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About TheBrochure : Thank you for reading the Cool Story, Brochure! Packed with the most undeniably relevant and solicited anecdotes from which the entire family will surely benefit by listening! If you would like to hear (read) the coolest story of the day, simply message me with your desire to do so. Or, if you wish to submit your own cool story, they will be added to the Vault of Cool Stories! Fun Facts: 1. Any party is the perfect forum with which to discuss your story in exhausting detail. 2. You should Definitely consider telling that cool story again some time. 3. I own a horse.

TheBrochure's page activity

Visits<b>allie2590</b> - yesterday at 9:46am<b>r70093</b> - the 09/07/2014 at 10:22pm<b>wilburhp</b> - the 09/04/2014 at 8:15am<b>bitch1047</b> - the 08/31/2014 at 1:52am<b>brittanyohhh</b> - the 08/24/2014 at 5:17am<b>harperska</b> - the 08/16/2014 at 1:24am<b>GoodOptions</b> - the 08/05/2014 at 5:42pm<b>buckdharma</b> - the 08/03/2014 at 8:46pm<b>iamkats</b> - the 07/27/2014 at 11:45pm<b>deusetnatura</b> - the 07/18/2014 at 9:06pm<b>BunnyRabbit411</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 1:58am<b>tshurtz722</b> - the 07/09/2014 at 11:28am<b>wopchop12</b> - the 07/08/2014 at 10:16pm<b>curticus</b> - the 06/09/2014 at 8:16am<b>sophieagnew50</b> - the 06/07/2014 at 1:21pm<b>babyladuke</b> - the 06/05/2014 at 2:33am<b>OnlyAvailableID</b> - the 05/30/2014 at 8:07pm<b>Jenra</b> - the 05/29/2014 at 3:11am

TheBrochure's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of TheBrochure's badges

TheBrochure's favorite FMLs

Today, I attended the reading of my grandfather's last will and testament. My parents, as well as my brothers and sister, all inherited a nice sum of money. I got 69 cents, because "young Jack always was an immature little shit." FML

#20840692
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46905) - you deserved it (19360)

On 08/16/2013 at 6:21pm - money - by JacksWag4 (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, for the first time in my life, I simultaneously sneezed, peed and farted. I was giving a presentation at work when this happened. FML

#20838395
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51599) - you deserved it (3688)

On 08/15/2013 at 5:47am - work - by bglenney - United States (California)

Today, while at a private lake, my colon declared a state of evacuation. I ventured as far from my family as my sphincter would allow, only to make eye contact with two very horrified kayakers mid-explosion. FML

#20830594
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42042) - you deserved it (4886)

On 08/10/2013 at 11:23am - health - by Oh-Shit! - United States

Today, I was in the shower with my boyfriend, and things started to get heated. That's where it all went to hell; I slipped and fell, bringing down with me the curtain and grooming products, and putting my back out. There goes my sex life. FML

#20829515
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45683) - you deserved it (6641)

On 08/09/2013 at 6:23pm - intimacy - by hunchback of notre bite (woman) - Korea, Republic of

Today, I realized that my boyfriend only has sex with me to get me to shut up. FML

#20827840
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44508) - you deserved it (19059)

On 08/08/2013 at 7:42pm - intimacy - by blissful oblivion (woman) - Trinidad and Tobago (Port-of-Spain)

Today, I was video chatting with my boyfriend and his friends. When I stood up, he told his friend "See, she's not a twig!" I jokingly replied with, "So I'm fat?" After a few seconds of silence, his friend yelled, "It's a trap!" and left the chat. FML

#20825004
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43890) - you deserved it (13890)

On 08/07/2013 at 2:04am - misc - by ImNotFat - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I came home a little earlier than usual, only to walk in on my dad frantically trying to remove a ballgag from my mom's mouth. FML

#20822450
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50815) - you deserved it (4828)

On 08/05/2013 at 5:42pm - misc - by NO NO NO (woman) - Netherlands (Zuid-Holland)

Today, I was reading in my apartment. Due to a heatwave and my lack of AC, I was completely naked. My cat jumped onto my lap, and as her claws dug into my stomach, I recoiled. This caused her to retreat, clawing at my nether regions in the process. My pussy mauled my pussy. FML

#20810087
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51286) - you deserved it (11678)

On 07/29/2013 at 5:18pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I were going at it doggy style, really fast, when she started laughing. I asked her what was so amusing and she giggled, "I can't feel anything in there." FML

#20808604
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59394) - you deserved it (8839)

On 07/28/2013 at 8:46pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was talking to my girlfriend about how I'm jealous of her best guy friend always hanging around her. She responded by saying, "Wait, I thought you knew I was dating him too?" FML

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. Instead of moaning like any normal person, he just kept saying stuff like "uh-huh," "not too bad," and "yup" in a complete monotone. It was probably the most uncomfortable experience of my life. FML

#20804720
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64834) - you deserved it (6581)

On 07/26/2013 at 2:00pm - intimacy - by awkward (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was at a pool party with some friends. We decided to play chicken and I was on the shoulders of the guy I like. Right as we started playing, for some unearthly reason my body decided to let out a little pee. I thought he wouldn't notice since we were already wet. He did. FML

#20804466
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52215) - you deserved it (16887)

On 07/26/2013 at 10:26am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my parents staged an intervention because I ate a year's supply of noodles in 2 weeks. FML

Today, my husband was chased out of a bar after he was seen slipping something into a woman's drink. I was the woman, the 'something' was aspirin, and that's the last time we ever try to role-play. FML

#20798724
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47880) - you deserved it (26828)

On 07/23/2013 at 12:48am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was getting freaky with my boyfriend and told him to spank me. In a seductive voice, he told me not to tell him what to do. Continuing, I asked him how he was going to punish me, to which he then replied, "I'm going to punch you straight in the face." FML

#20798640
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56073) - you deserved it (11960)

On 07/23/2013 at 12:04am - intimacy - by suckstosuck (woman) - United States (California)



FML's blog

  • Matteor's illustrated FML #2
  • So, is everyone back from their vacation? Can we get back to regular programming? No? OK, I get it. You're all still crying about not being at the beach any more, well, I am anyway. And this time of year…

Thursday 11 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: