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TheBrochure's favorite FMLs
Today, I woke up and saw that my alarm clock had fallen on the floor. It read 9:05 am. I panicked because I was late for work. As I frantically got ready, I went to pick my alarm clock up to place it back on my nightstand when I realized it was upside down. The actual time was 5:06. FML
by NoorFML / 09/13/2013 at 9:24am / United States / Miscellaneous
by sysadmin:~# rm -rf / / 09/12/2013 at 3:40pm / New Zealand (Auckland) / Work
Today, my workplace was having a "prices are down" promotion. I had to wear a badge that said, "Down and staying down" all day, opening myself up to a lot of weirdos winking at me or saying, "Oh yeah, I bet you are". FML
by hawkwardd / 09/12/2013 at 3:42am / Australia / Work
Today, my mother informed me that we are no longer taking my graduation trip to New York. Instead, she and her group of continuously drunk friends are going to Vegas because, "We could win the jackpot and take you on an even bigger trip to New York!" She's never won anything in her whole life. FML
by zcollins / 09/10/2013 at 11:52am / United States (California) / Money
Today, I bought $250 worth of groceries and was feeling rather good about myself because it's the first time I've been able to do so in months. When I returned home I found my fridge/freezer broken. Most of the food I bought was dairy or frozen. FML
by Anonymous / 09/10/2013 at 3:35am / United States (California) / Money
by Sean / 09/09/2013 at 5:04pm / United States / Money
by Anonymous / 09/08/2013 at 12:38pm / Switzerland (Bern) / Work
by Anonymous / 09/08/2013 at 1:42am / United States (Alabama) / Love
Today, a customer kept harassing me and threatening to sue me for all I'm worth because I wouldn't give her a free refill. Her reasoning was that it's "illegal" to deny people a free refill if there's still a little drink left in the cup. FML
by goshoveafuckingfrappuccinoupyourvagyoupsychocunt / 09/07/2013 at 5:43pm / United States (Virginia) / Work
by Anonymous / 09/07/2013 at 12:37am / United States (Connecticut) / Intimacy
by jesus christ, dad / 09/06/2013 at 12:48pm / United Kingdom (Manchester) / Intimacy
Today, while working at Home Depot, I was asked to cut some wire. When I asked her how much, she said, "From my computer to the wall". After explaining for a while that I didn't know how far that is, she left. FML
by tdawgg / 09/06/2013 at 10:12am / Canada (Alberta) / Work
Today, after 8 months of being belittled and treated like trash at my job as a prep cook in a high-end kitchen, I stood up for myself to the line cooks. Not only did everyone laugh at me, I got fired for causing a scene during service and insubordination. FML
by Anonymous / 09/06/2013 at 7:45am / United States (Maine) / Work
by lifesucks0925 / 09/06/2013 at 3:01am / United States (California) / Work
Today, I couldn't sleep due to an awful head cold, so I stayed home from work. Apparently, the local high school marching band practices in the park across the street at 9am. They're doing the Imperial March music from Star Wars. They suck. FML
by lostinspace / 09/04/2013 at 12:24pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, it's been 2 weeks since I ordered a printer so I could print schoolwork, that way I don't…