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TheBrochure

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TheBrochure

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 6092
  • Number of comments : 231
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About TheBrochure : Thank you for reading the Cool Story, Brochure! Packed with the most undeniably relevant and solicited anecdotes from which the entire family will surely benefit by listening! If you would like to hear (read) the coolest story of the day, simply message me with your desire to do so. Or, if you wish to submit your own cool story, they will be added to the Vault of Cool Stories! Fun Facts: 1. Any party is the perfect forum with which to discuss your story in exhausting detail. 2. You should Definitely consider telling that cool story again some time. 3. I own a horse.

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Fucked!<b>ChoolyBooly</b> - the 03/13/2015 at 7:31pm

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TheBrochure's favorite FMLs

Today, I woke up to a flooded basement. That basement is my bedroom, so I'm completely surrounded by water. All I need is a tiger and this would be like The Life of Pi. FML

#20752548
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48934) - you deserved it (3737)

On 06/28/2013 at 2:07pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Egypt (Al Qahirah)

Today, my demented asswipe of a lab partner thought it'd be funny to replace the birthday gift I bought for my girlfriend with the large intestine of a recently-dissected dog. My girlfriend nearly fainted when she opened the gift box, and accused me of planning the whole thing. FML

#20752461
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45618) - you deserved it (3156)

On 06/28/2013 at 1:34pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Nigeria (Lagos)

Today, my boss fired me for being "too morally ambiguous". I work at a bagel shop and had told a customer that I was indifferent towards cream cheese. FML

#20749746
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41344) - you deserved it (3863)

On 06/27/2013 at 2:22am - work - by confusedbagel (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I faced my severe phobia of spiders in order to remove a rather large one from my home. After 20 minutes of desperate struggling, it was finally taken care of. Relieved, I sat down and glanced across the hallway just in time to see a second, equally large spider strutting across the wall. FML

Today, I was feeding some ducks. One of them choked to death on the old bread. FML

#20744476
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51103) - you deserved it (14713)

On 06/24/2013 at 12:41pm - animals - by Anonymous - Belgium

Today, my wife made me moist cat food burgers as a prank. I didnt have the heart to tell her that they tasted better than the ones she usually makes. FML

#20742017
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51467) - you deserved it (4272)

On 06/23/2013 at 1:05am - misc - by kittybad - United States

Today, my wife made me moist cat food burgers as a prank. I didnt have the heart to tell her that they tasted better than the ones she usually makes. FML

#20742017
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51467) - you deserved it (4272)

On 06/23/2013 at 1:05am - misc - by kittybad - United States

Today, my boyfriend used the "this isn't working, we need to talk" line on me. How nice of him to wait this long to do so, just days after we returned from the expensive Caribbean holiday that I paid for. FML

#20740481
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49008) - you deserved it (4809)

On 06/22/2013 at 5:22am - love - by sadpoorlady (woman) - United Kingdom (Lancashire)

Today, I came back from the doctor after having been diagnosed with a UTI. My dad now won't shut up about it, saying stuff like, "You must be 'pissed'", "Looks like 'urine' a bit of pain", and "'Urea'-lly need some antibiotics, son", all while making obnoxious finger quotes in the air. FML

#20739103
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44571) - you deserved it (4910)

On 06/21/2013 at 2:05pm - health - by assholedad (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, as I was crossing to the US, I got pulled over by border patrol for looking "suspicious". The female cop searched my purse and found a condom. She smirked and said, "I doubt you'd ever need that." FML

#20726743
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50662) - you deserved it (4600)

On 06/15/2013 at 1:04am - misc - by well then... - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my husband of 3 years learned that he's going to be a father. No, I'm not pregnant. FML

#20726687
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66427) - you deserved it (4097)

On 06/15/2013 at 12:28am - love - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my little sister was scared to sleep alone, so my parents made her sleep in bed with me. I barely slept, due to the utter terror of waking up to her chanting into my ear in a low whisper, "This is where you die, this is where you die..." FML

#20709788
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54581) - you deserved it (3734)

On 06/06/2013 at 2:47pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Isle of Man

Today, my 6-year-old son was so angry at me for not buying him overpriced candy at the airport, that he told a security guard I had a machine gun in my suitcase. The interrogation was not pleasant. FML

#20703790
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64549) - you deserved it (8017)

On 06/03/2013 at 5:16pm - kids - by VDM (man) - Sent from mobile version

Today, my brother looked me dead in the eyes and said his life goal is to find a way to jizz on everyone in the world. I'm scared. FML

#20703677
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60046) - you deserved it (5421)

On 06/03/2013 at 4:14pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Poland (Kujawsko-Pomorskie)

Today, after buying 3 new alarm clocks, I finally decided to video tape myself all night to figure out if my alarm clock was broken or if I was oversleeping. Turns out I wake up around 4am each day and turn them off without remembering. FML

#20700571
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54052) - you deserved it (6346)

On 06/02/2013 at 2:06am - misc - by sleepy momma - United States (Pennsylvania)



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