About TheB0a : Blah and blah. Also, bleh.
Don't expect me to post a picture of myself. I won't.
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Consolation prize
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
50 favourites
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
Today, after getting dumped by my boyfriend, I tried to find comfort in one of my closest friends. He embraced me while I struggled against tears, and after a few moments of silence said, "Hey, you know what? I would fuck you anytime. Anytime." FML
I agree, your life sucks (25901) - you deserved it (6926)
On 10/13/2011 at 3:19am - intimacy - by scewable (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I met an old friend, with whom I have a complicated history and we hooked up. He came before we even started. In his sleep, he pushed me out of the bed. When I woke up, he had peed himself in his sleep. Glad I let that ship sail. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13813) - you deserved it (17677)
On 10/11/2011 at 10:51am - intimacy - by CC (woman) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)
Today, I was using the toilet and decided to check out some FMLs. One made me laugh out loud as my room-mate was passing by the bathroom. He now tells everyone my penis is so small it makes even me laugh every time I see it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31542) - you deserved it (7626)
Today, in an incredibly busy shopping center bathroom with my 5 year-old niece, I was squatting over the toilet seat to avoid germs. My niece then says at the top of her voice, "Auntie, why are you sitting like a kangaroo?" I'd say the whole room pissed their pants laughing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17355) - you deserved it (5640)
On 10/05/2011 at 11:29am - kids - by Pissed (woman) - Australia
Today, after a long bike-ride home, I thought my roommate was being a douche and holding the door shut to our apartment. After about ten minutes of shoulder-slamming and name calling, I discovered that I just wasn't turning the key all the way, which I found out when my roomie came home. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4869) - you deserved it (20437)
On 10/05/2011 at 4:59am - misc - by nooooooooob - United States (Nevada)
Today, I was supposed to get married but we had to postpone as the best man fled the country. With the marriage certificate and vendor money. Not to mention the rings. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33449) - you deserved it (2186)
On 10/05/2011 at 2:23am - love - by princesspuffypan (woman) - South Africa
Today, a woman somehow managed to drop her wedding ring into the garbage at the fast food place where I work. I had to search through a full bag of half eaten food and soda to find it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20858) - you deserved it (1682)
On 10/05/2011 at 1:28am - work - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I drove to the liquor store completely naked except for my dressing gown, with a carload of idiot stoners who ran in and stole vodka, tequila and whiskey. We drank in a bush. Last week I was a good citizen, and now I'm white trash. I'm not quite sure what happened in between. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5837) - you deserved it (42566)
Today, my boyfriend got drunk and tried to french-kiss my dog. Now he has 12 stitches in his face, and he's insisting we have to get my dog put down. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28049) - you deserved it (2778)
On 10/04/2011 at 12:03pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, I saw a girl wearing a Nirvana shirt. Since Nirvana has been my favorite band for a long time, I tried striking up a conversation with her. Turns out she doesn't even listen to them, and only bought the shirt because she "liked the smiley face." FML
I agree, your life sucks (24184) - you deserved it (4391)
On 10/04/2011 at 4:57am - misc - by storksleuth (man) - United States (Nevada)
Today, I showed my boyfriend a calendar, marked with the number of times we've had sex over the past month. Then followed by a calendar of the month before, which had almost triple the number of hits. I had to point out that our stats need to improve. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17959) - you deserved it (12149)
On 10/04/2011 at 3:04am - intimacy - by friskeyk14 - United States (California)
Today, I was denied a waitressing job at a local diner I have been going to for years. Due to the fact that my name is Julia. They already have a waitress there named Julie. Apparently, I would "create too much confusion." FML
I agree, your life sucks (21098) - you deserved it (1798)
On 10/03/2011 at 11:22pm - work - by Julia (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, my 20 year old daughter started ranting to me about her latest boyfriend's erectile problems. Trying to be a good dad, I told her all I knew about how to get the boy fixed. My wife decided to stick her head in and say, "Listen to your dad, hun. He knows all about this kind of thing." FML
I agree, your life sucks (25221) - you deserved it (3745)
On 10/03/2011 at 5:41pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Hertford)
Today, I finally got the nerve to tell my parents that I'm no longer going to pay them a flat percent of my salary, but only what they need to cover my expenses. Their response: "Better find a place of your own then, you freeloading bastard." FML
I agree, your life sucks (12980) - you deserved it (21562)
On 10/03/2011 at 4:49pm - money - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)
Today, my roommate informed me that one of her scorpions is loose in our apartment again. Great. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25364) - you deserved it (2572)
On 10/03/2011 at 1:58pm - misc - by Username - United States
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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