About TheB0a : Blah and blah. Also, bleh.
Don't expect me to post a picture of myself. I won't.
Mobility
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Consolation prize
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
50 favourites
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
Today, we were playing dodgeball at school. I tried to duck and jump around so the idiots on the other team couldn't nail me with the ball. Mid-jump, it tore through the air and smashed straight into my ballsack, sending me curling into a fetal position on the floor. I feel like I got sterilized. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17054) - you deserved it (8634)
On 10/28/2011 at 8:44pm - misc - by ricksterile - United States (Illinois)
Today, during my fourth solo day working as a meter-maid, I had a vehicle towed for being parked in front of a fire hydrant. The vehicle belonged to the governor. I'm scared to even show my face at work next week. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22026) - you deserved it (3178)
On 10/28/2011 at 8:19pm - work - by NoMoreMeters - United States (Ohio)
Today, I went over to my friend's house. We were teasing each other, when she stood up and began to jokingly walk away. Trying to be cute, I tried to pull her onto my knee. I miscalculated and she ended up sitting right on my boner. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24423) - you deserved it (15421)
On 10/28/2011 at 7:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, my boyfriend's mother told me she bought the same perfume that my boyfriend got me for Christmas last year. He loves that perfume. Now, whenever he smells me, he's going to think of his mom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18082) - you deserved it (1701)
On 10/28/2011 at 4:25pm - love - by Annoyed (woman) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I was pulled over for going the wrong way on a closed highway. The construction signs pointed me in that direction, and the cop agreed that they should be fixed. Did it stop him from giving me a ticket anyway? Nope. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25240) - you deserved it (1642)
On 10/28/2011 at 11:59am - misc - by ashleyyyy - United States (Illinois)
Today, I was bitched out by my 17 year old son's teacher. It seems the idiot teacher made the kids advocate for his own political beliefs in a presentation, and my son ended his speech saying, "And it remains my opinion that our instructor is cramping my motherfucking style." Instant suspension. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21761) - you deserved it (4377)
On 10/28/2011 at 11:52am - kids - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I finally found out where my great grandmother's antique handheld mirror disappeared to. According to the headmaster, my eleven year old son has been using it to look up his classmates' dresses at school. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18976) - you deserved it (1975)
On 10/28/2011 at 8:25am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, I was about to have sex with my girlfriend for the first time. Just as she took her shirt off, her phone rang. It was her mom demanding she return home. Now I've been cockblocked, and my girlfriend's mom seems to be a god damn clairvoyant. Awesome. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22113) - you deserved it (3787)
On 10/27/2011 at 10:49pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States
I agree, your life sucks (30326) - you deserved it (3970)
On 10/27/2011 at 2:56pm - intimacy - by The fat and the ugly (woman) - Finland (Southern Finland)
Today, my dad walked in on me and my girlfriend having sex. His only reaction was to mutter, "Put some back into it, son." before awkwardly sidling out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25476) - you deserved it (5964)
On 10/27/2011 at 8:22am - intimacy - by ifeeldirty (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I got a boner at the dentist. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27623) - you deserved it (6125)
On 10/27/2011 at 2:40am - intimacy - by Me - United States
Today, I was getting intimate with my husband on our anniversary day. He climbed on top of me and firmly placed his penis on my nose. When I asked him what the hell he was doing, he burst into laughter and said I looked just like Squidward. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33370) - you deserved it (3931)
On 10/26/2011 at 7:44pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, my boyfriend and I were about to have sex. He passionately laid me down onto the bed, both of us fully naked. Pressing down on my shoulder, he ended up dislocating it. The pain made me pee myself. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34359) - you deserved it (2921)
On 10/26/2011 at 2:58am - intimacy - by Darcy (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, my boyfriend thought it would be a good idea to viciously rip off my thong. My ass crack is numb. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24072) - you deserved it (5192)
On 10/25/2011 at 12:08pm - intimacy - by beccav23 - United States (Texas)
Today, I dislocated my jaw while giving my boyfriend a blowjob. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34875) - you deserved it (14434)
On 10/23/2011 at 1:45am - intimacy - by canucks_chick - Canada
Monday 17 June 2013
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