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About TheB0a : Blah and blah. Also, bleh.
Don't expect me to post a picture of myself. I won't.
Consolation prize
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
50 favourites
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
Socialite
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Today, I was hurriedly doing laundry. I threw a second load in the dryer and slammed the door shut. All of a sudden, I heard scratching and whining coming from the dryer. My cat probably hates me now. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10849) - you deserved it (22896)
On 11/01/2011 at 3:02pm - animals - by benji - United States (Michigan)
Today, I went grocery shopping. Being a bartender, I had a huge wad of dollar bills from cash tips. As I was counting them at the register, I looked at the cashier and joked, "You probably think I'm a stripper or something." He looked me up and down and said, "Uh... hell no." FML
I agree, your life sucks (16678) - you deserved it (14436)
On 11/01/2011 at 1:52pm - misc - by bakedplum (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, on a dating site, I was matched with my brother, again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38285) - you deserved it (3838)
On 11/01/2011 at 12:18pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Kansas)
Today, I drove past a fragrant steakhouse and my mouth began to water and my stomach started rumbling, which would've been perfectly fine if it wasn't for the fact that I'm a vegan and an animal lover. My confused body craves burning flesh. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8970) - you deserved it (39318)
On 11/01/2011 at 9:22am - health - by loves the smell of burning flesh - United States (California)
Today, I had to tell all the trick-or-treaters that I'd run out of candy. I'd actually bought about $50 worth of candy, but managed to eat all of it by myself, sitting alone in my apartment, exactly like last year. FML
I agree, your life sucks (3676) - you deserved it (11907)
Today, it's my first Halloween in America since moving from Russia. While handing candy to children, my roommate told me to compliment a little girl by saying "You have a face only a parent could love". I found out it isn't a compliment when I was punched by her Dad. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27709) - you deserved it (3541)
On 10/31/2011 at 8:18pm - kids - by VladyBoi (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, my husband's car was stolen from our driveway while he was out jogging. We'd recently had a huge fight, and he accused me of having done this to get revenge. I was at work all day, but it seems this doesn't make any difference to his dumb, paranoid ass. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20840) - you deserved it (4276)
Today, my girlfriend tried to change her pad while we were sitting in a crowded movie theatre. She succeeded and slipped the used pad in her purse. I can't get rid of the memory, and I don't think I can ever eat popcorn again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19075) - you deserved it (1479)
On 10/31/2011 at 11:38am - intimacy - by ohdear (man) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, while standing in line at the supermarket, I reached past my wife to get a pack of gum. She jokingly did the "battered wife flinch" to get a laugh, and smiled at me from behind her hand. The cop staring at us obviously didn't notice the smile and definitely didn't think it was funny. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18657) - you deserved it (2232)
On 10/31/2011 at 11:07am - misc - by spacemanspiff78 (man) -
Today, I turned in an overdue English assignment at college. My instructor accused me of plagiarism, writing that my sentence structure was "TO" good. Seriously? FML
I agree, your life sucks (10623) - you deserved it (1190)
On 10/31/2011 at 6:09am - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Peterborough)
Today, while parking, I accidentally hit my landlord's daughter's brand new car. I made a huge dent in the side door. I thought nobody was home, so I quickly went to my room. Turns out they were having a barbecue outside and saw the whole thing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4919) - you deserved it (30699)
On 10/31/2011 at 4:30am - misc - by j3r3zana16 (woman) - Canada
Today, I had a relaxing night watching movies with my room-mates. Everyone but I had a girl over to lie with during the movie. The closest I got all night was the multiple times my room-mate's dog tried to mount me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19695) - you deserved it (2356)
On 10/31/2011 at 2:57am - intimacy - by Hollywoodanonymous (man) - United States (Idaho)
Today, I learned that all of the anonymous Valentines gifts I received throughout high school were sent out of pity by my sister. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9945) - you deserved it (867)
On 10/31/2011 at 2:45am - misc - by Mister_Triangle - United States
Today, while in the car with my mom, she gave me a lecture about how bad of a driver I am. During that process she ran a red light and hit a car. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19657) - you deserved it (1440)
On 10/31/2011 at 12:12am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, my fiancé and I got married. We both promised to remain abstinent until our wedding day. She's on her period. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32357) - you deserved it (6149)
On 10/31/2011 at 12:04am - intimacy - by Andrew - United States (Pennsylvania)
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